Goodbyes
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
[A few days later]
Taehyung's POV
When was the first time I realised I fell in love? When my body experienced many changes, I contacted my psychiatrist. When I explained everything, the first thing I heard from my doctor was loud laughter, that vaguely resembled the sound of window-washing or some sort. It was a very specific resemblance but I do not know why I thought of that. He told me that my body and heart were completely fine and experiencing a term called love and attachment.
Then it made sense. She is beautiful and kind. Loving and caring was her second nature. Although she was messy, feisty and angry a lot of times, that didn't matter to me. She is still perfect and beautiful. To me, she was the very first person after my mother, who tried to love me and accept me for myself.
After my mother left the world, V was the only person I had. No matter how much he pushed me away, I never once had any hatred towards him. His scoldings and anger used to make me realise he's alive and safe, unlike our mother. His random snarls used to make me sigh in relief that he was very much normal and will never experience what I do from people. His laughter used make me thankful that he has many people around him to keep him happy.
Now that I know he doesn't hate me like he previously claimed, part of me was happy but larger part of me were hurt and tired of this. The times I could've spent talking and spending time with V, was all wasted just because my brother had the obsession to make me better, if not cure me. He has a positive intention, granted; but that cost me to lose faith over myself even more.
Am I not capable to make friends without V?
I'm Kim Taehyung, but why is it that he's more deserving of the name? Just like, he's more deserving of Y/n.
The woman I love, is also loved by my brother.
V has made many sacrifices for me. He took care of me behind my back when I never could do the same. I was always at the receiving end, while V was always the giver. Just like he gave away his love to me.
It all flashed in my head. As much as my heart and body aches with unbearable pain when I think about V kissing Y/n, rational part of me knew V is more capable of making her happy than I ever will be.
She's always easygoing when she's around V. I'm not saying she isn't herself around me, but after Jiah's revelation of how our relationship was started by V, makes me wonder if all of our relationship was simply fake.
I flip the pages with an invisiable pain and anger on my face. I was at a library, peacefully reading while the chaos was going on inside my head like a thunderstorm.
When I thought I was alone, I heard Minjae's voice from my left.
''Taehyung, are you okay?'' Minjae decides to ask, after taking a seat next to me. I couldn't help but wonder what was his intention of speaking to me. It is very rare and almost impossible for someone to approach me without any reason. It's either they need something from me or V has asked them to befriend me. I would prefer the first one than the later one.
''Yes, I am. I have just got back from my appointment.''
''Well, I just wanted to say... you should talk to the rest. They have been pretty upset and I am sure you are too.'' Minjae speaks. ''I do talk to them,'' I inform.
''Not like this, allow them to explain themselves and allow yourself to forgive them.''
At that time, I notice Sooah and Jiah walk into the library. ''Momentarily forget about them.'' Minjae grabs my attention. ''You need to focus on V and Y/n more than them.''
''Also I genuinely do like you as a human and as a friend. You are different but that doesn't mean it in a bad way. We have shared many good memories together, and I can assure you that they are genuine. I was not aware of any of V's plan. So, I can assure you there has been no acting involved from my part.''
This has been the most I've heard Minjae talk. He always has been the more observant type than speaking. Often his girlfriend overshadowed him in social gatherings, but he never minded that. ''I do not have any complaints against you and thank you for being a good friend to my brother, as well as me. V is lucky to have such a kind friend like you.''
That made Minjae giggle. ''You are talking as if you are planning to leave!''
I am.
I do not reply to that as Sooah appears in front of me. I expected to receive a nasty comment towards me as usual, but she surprisingly greeted me with a smile. ''Hey, Tae! Hi baby!'' Sooah kisses Minjae's left cheeks. Minjae on the other hand, removes herself, not mirroring the same smiling face as his girlfriend.
Usually, when Y/n, my girlfriend smiled, I cannot help but smile back. If Minjae isn't smiling back, instead glaring, does that mean they aren't in good terms?
''Why are you here?'' Minjae asks with a different, more sterner tone than he was with me.
''Hey! I am just being nice and saying hi to Tae and you!''
Minjae rolled his eyes, ''When did he become Tae for you? After finding out that V dotes on him? Are you scared that V will find out the shits you have said and done to him?''
Sooah was taken aback, ''What's gotten into you?''
Minjae doesn't reply but gets up abruptly before clutching her upper arm and leave my table. I was utterly confused but decided to not question anything. My eyes brush the sister of mine the moment later. Her face was expressionless like mine. By the time I blinked, she removes her gaze and returns back to her own readings.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
''Tae! Please, talk to me.'' You speak, desperation in your voice.
I do want to talk to you. Taehyung thinks painfully.
"I am talking to you." He blinks twice, scribbling away with the pen.
With a sigh, you slam the table for attention. "Not like that! You need to talk me properly. Hold me like before!"
I do want to hold you.
"I cannot do that."
"Why?! I told you! The kiss between V and I was a mistake! He was only emotional!" You tell him.
It hurt me a lot.
"Y/n..." He looked at you, at last.
With a hopeful smile, "Yes, Taehyung. Tell me!"
"Is this what cheating is?" Your smile flattens at that. "You told me we must be truthful to each other. We cannot kiss others, because it is not right." Taehyung speaks. "Then why did you do that?"
Your insides churn immediately after hearing that. Feeling immensely guilty that he had to see you like this, guilty that you didn't push V back, and guilty that you had no answer to that.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Taehyung's POV
I did not mean that. I do not blame her for anything. But I have to say this. I have to tell her that it isn't me who she should want to be with. I do not deserve her.
"You should be V's girlfriend," I say at last. Looking away from her eyes that rolled a droplet of tears.
"What?"
"He likes you a lot. He will keep you happy." I attempt to smile, trying to mask the blooming pain in my heart.
"N-no..."
"I want to break up with you."
"Tae, please listen to me.. don't do this." Her voice trembles.
"Your mother will love V. He's strong and funny. He can laugh at your jokes, which I fail to do. He can give you many things without someone else's help. He wouldn't need his brother to help him get friends or people to talk to him. He can take you to dates that don't serve live seafood. He deserves you, Y/n."
Her eyes sweated even more until her throat gave out a broken sob. I felt my eyes stinging, as a response from the uncontrollable pain emerging within me that made it difficult for me to speak. I hated this feeling, I hated seeing Y/n cry like this.
Clenching fist, I use my willpower to control myself from going to Y/n and wrap her around my arms.
"Y/n, please do not cry." I carry on, voice breaking slightly. "He's also a great brother and son. Look, he did so much for me which I can never return. I will be forever grateful to him and you, for making me happy. Alas, I cannot do anything for you or V. You guys are absolutely perfect. You will look good together."
More I talked about Y/n and V together, more I hated the idea. Jealousy and pain burning passionately within me. It made me furious thinking about how lucky V is going to be. He will get to touch and love the woman, I learnt to love and adore. It is painful but I must be strong now. For the sake of Y/n and V's happiness.
Y/n covers her face with her palm, sobbing painfully for the next few minutes. I gripped against my pen, not minding the pen breaking apart and the sharp edges digging into my skin. I hurt her again, I'm nothing but a loser. Sooah and Jiah were right.
The beautiful girl before me stops crying at one point, wiping her tears, she looks at me once again. "So we are going to break up now?"
I do not want to.
"Yes." I reply.
"What's next then?" She tried pick herself up by sounding strong, but I could detect the ache behind her words.
"I will transfer from this university. I will be submitting the papers today." I reveal.
That wasn't taken too well by her. "What the fuck?! Why?!"
"It is for the best."
V wouldn't have to worry about me and he will be more comfortable. This year is a crucial year for him. He has to concentrate on himself rather than me.
Thoughts have been cut when I hear Y/n getting up and leaving the room.
This is needed, Taehyung. This is needed.
V had done many things for me. This is the least I can do for him. As much it hurts, V is the more deserving of Y/n and friends.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Two days later
Taehyung was standing in front of the door of Jeon Jungkook. Without getting a wink of sleep, as well as not being able to see you for two days after the conversation, he did not have any more strength to walk around hunting for a place to live.
He wondered where he could stay for a while until his transfer issues have been sorted. His only friend that owns a house is Jeon Jungkook.
Part of him did not wish to disturb him and cause him trouble when his entire friendship has been on uncertainty. However, he doesn't have any other choice than this.
With a sigh, he knocks the door of the younger male. Jungkook didn't take more than a few seconds to open the door. And when he did, his eyes bulge out. "Tae!" Jungkook embraces the man.
"Jungkook can I stay over at your house for a few days until I find a place to live?"
Jungkook was hurt by not hearing Taehyung's nickname for him. "Of course, come on in!"
"I apologise if I'm disturbing you-"
"For fucks sake! Stop apologising every time I'm trying to speak to you. I told you many times my friendship with you isn't fake." Jungkook irritably speaks, his patience was being tested here. ''If you are done ignoring me, then big thank you. If you are planning to ignore me while staying at my house then big fuck you!''
Taehyung blinks twice in confusion, ''Do you want me to stay or?''
''STAY!'' Jungkook loudly speaks, making the boy at the door flinch. With a click of his tongue, Jungkook moves aside to give his friend space to enter his house.
Jungkook was internally smirking when he watches Taehyung drop his belongings on the floor. There was no way he is letting him leave the house without clearing everything. With that, he closes the main door with a sly smile.
Jungkook contemplated if he should inform V that he's at his house. Seeing how this thing, in particular, caused all these chaos, he was forced to reconsider. ''Can I tell-'' His voice halts off when his phone begins to ring. Excusing himself from Taehyung, he goes to reach the phone.
''Hello,'' He greets the other person.
Taehyung watches Jungkook speak until he views Jungkook's expression go pale and eyes bulge out. He cuts off the phone and worryingly reaches Taehyung.
''Why are you not speaking?''
''Y/n left the dorm.'' Jungkook comes to the point.
''What do you mean?'' Taehyung's heart stills.
''She submitted the transfer paperwork to dropout of this university altogether.''
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
To all my angst haters, hang in there, next chapter is going to (somewhat?) chaotic?👀 Hopefully I'm not disappointing you with the updates! Thank you for reading!❤️
-Admin Tata