JJ's lips are inches from mine, and I can't believe this is finally happening. I've been wanting to kiss her for ages, but I never really thought it would happen.
My gaze drifts down to her lips, and my heart starts pounding. She leans in slightly, so I lean in too and...
Right before her lips touch mine, JJ jumps back like she's been burned. I step back immediately and take my hands off her waist.
"What's wrong? Are you alright?" I say, hoping I didn't do something wrong.
"I...I've gotta go," the blonde walks out of the bathroom without a second glance, and I can't help but feel a little bit stung by her rejection.
I grab my shirt from the counter in front of me and take it to the hand dryer on the wall. I turn it on and let the loud noise drown out my thoughts as I take a few steadying breaths.
The way she reacted was weird. Her lips were about to touch mine one second, and the next she wouldn't even look at me. Did I do something? Are we going to be able to be normal again? Is my favorite friendship effectively ruined?
The familiar pain of rejection and the overwhelming fear of losing my friend threaten to crush me. I pull my shirt on over my head and feel my body relax slightly at its warmth. The counter under my hands is cold, and it helps center me.
A few deep breaths and one pep talk later, I plaster a smile on my face and walk back into the bar.
"There you are, sweet cheeks! You can't even see where you spilled the drink, so that's good," Penelope links her arm through mine and pulls me to the dance floor. Even though dancing is not exactly what I want to be doing at the moment, I welcome the distraction. It'll keep me from looking for Jennifer for a little bit, at least.
The music is so loud, I can feel it vibrating through the floor. My body moves to the rhythm, and I smile as Garcia laces her fingers with mine and twirls me around. A few men try to dance with me, but I brush them aside. I'm definitely not in the mood for this today.
After a half hour, Garcia grabs me and turns me toward her.
"I think I need another drink. Want to come with?" she grins at me and offers me her arm again.
"Absolutely. God knows I need one too," I follow her off the dance floor and weave through the crowds to the bar.
We grab our drinks and make our way to the table to join Hotch, Haley, and Reid. Spencer is talking about God-knows-what, and I can't seem to focus on it. My eyes scan the room, and I realize I'm looking for JJ. Right before I stop myself, I see her. She's with a small group of men, and they're definitely all hitting on her.
Her blue eyes meet mine suddenly, and my breathing quickens. She sets her jaw, and turns to the man on her left. She runs a hand through his dark hair before sliding her fingers down his arm. He smiles and puts an arm around her, his fingers brushing the place mine had been less than an hour ago.
Jealousy fills my chest, and I swallow it down, throwing back the rest of my drink and turning back toward our group.
"So yeah, that's how football became one of America's most popular sports!" Reid's excited smile makes his eyes shine brightly.
"Thank you, for that explanation, but you still didn't answer my question," Hotch laughs as he looks at the younger man.
"Wait what was the question again?" Spencer smiles sheepishly, and I find myself smiling too. He's too adorable for his own good.
"I asked if you ever played football when you were a kid," our unit chief finishes the last of his beer and leans back.
"Do I look like I played any sports at any point in my life?" Reid asks, and everyone immediately breaks into laughter. "Okay guys, I just heard someone say Star Trek, so I'll be back." The youngest member of our team gets up and walks away from our table as the laughter fades.
I look up again without thinking and see JJ kissing the guy that had his arm around her a few minutes ago. His hands wrap around her back, and he pulls her closer. She pulls away for a second, and her eyes meet mine yet again. She grabs the guy again and begins kissing him even more passionately, her hands gripping his shoulders.
My hands grip my glass tightly, and I fight back the tears that threaten to spill down my cheeks. I hate it when I cry. Why the fuck do I care so much about this girl? I'm about to call a taxi when I feel someone sit down next to me.
"Hey, Emily. Are you alright?" Derek Morgan touches my hand gently, and I finally relax my grip.
"I would say yes, but is there even a point in lying?" I turn toward him and smile humorlessly.
"No. Because based on your grip, you're either going through something or that glass really pissed you off." I can't help but laugh a little as Morgan teases me. "There we go, now you're smiling. That's what I like to see."
"Is it alright if I don't really want to talk about it right now?" I look at him, hoping he'll understand.
"Of course. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me, alright? I do want to give you a hug though, if you're not opposed." Derek opens his arms and smiles kindly.
I lean into him, and I feel myself relax a little. Fuck, I have some really good friends here.
"Where'd Pretty Boy go?" my friend speaks again after I pull away from our hug.
"He said something about joining some people to talk about Star Trek, so I'm sure he's around here somewhere," I find myself scanning the room, and I see JJ again with the men from earlier. At least now they're playing darts instead of making out.
"Alright, well I'll leave him to that. I think I'm gonna do a little bit more dancing before the evening is over," Morgan winks and walks back toward the dance floor, and I see several women join him immediately. I chuckle under my breath and stand back up.
"Okay, I think I'm going to get one more drink," I announce to no one in particular.
"Hey! Emily!" Hotch stops me before I walk away.
"What's up?" I come to a stop in front of him and smile at his wife.
"Could you grab Haley and I a couple drinks if you're heading that way?" he offers me a twenty, and I take it from him.
"Yeah of course! Be back in a sec," I turn toward the bar again.
A couple minutes later, I walk back to the table carrying three drinks. I roll my eyes as I see Morgan dancing with the same women that flocked to him a few minutes ago.
"Face forward, and be careful! The one in the back can take your wallet!" I call to him as he dances.
"That's alright, I'll be a broke, happy man," Derek smirks, and I keep walking.
I set the drinks down at our table and chat with Haley, Hotch, and Garcia for a few moments. Suddenly, Hotch grabs his wife and heads to the dance floor, and Garcia goes to the bathroom, leaving me alone at the table.
The realization that I haven't thought about JJ for the past ten minutes crosses my mind, and I shake my head. Maybe I can try to go ten more minutes now.
I nod my head to the beat of the music and sip the beer in front of me. I think I'll just call a taxi since I rode here with Jennifer. I'll grab my car from her place tomorrow and just hope that our paths barely cross over the next few days. Maybe everything will be less awkward then.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice JJ pick up her phone. She says something to the men with her before briskly walking outside. My focus remains on the door, even as I continue to observe the room around me.
A few moments later, the blonde reenters the bar. She doesn't look very happy, so that can only mean one thing: we have a case.
...
JJ rounds up the team, and we all walk outside. Who in the world should I ride with? We agreed to go straight to the bureau, and I didn't bring my car with me...
I hesitate as everyone heads to their vehicles, and JJ turns and speaks to me for the first time in an hour.
"Are you riding with me, or are you walking all the way there?" her tone is teasing and light, though a little forced.
"I would prefer to ride with you..." I huff a laugh and try to keep the mood light. We don't speak again until we're pulling out of the bar's parking lot.
"About earlier, I don't know what I was thinking. I think I was a little tipsy, and I didn't realize what I was doing," JJ stares straight ahead as she speaks.
"That didn't bother me, JJ," I try to keep my tone even, but I can hear a little bit of hurt coming through.
"I, um, I also shouldn't have made out with that guy. It was stupid."
"You can do whatever you want. You're young and single."
"I know that. I know," her hands tighten on the steering wheel, and she takes a deep breath before continuing in a rush. "Thank God we're both straight or this could've been much worse." She laughs a little as she finishes.
"What do you mean it could've been worse?" my voice is even and calm even though my blood is boiling.
"Like it would be weird if we were attracted to each other or something, right?" nervous energy is evident in each word she speaks.
"Just so we're on the same page here, I'm not straight, JJ. I'm a lesbian" I don't bother trying to hide the ice in my voice now. JJ suddenly pulls the car to a stop on the side of the road before turning to face me.
"Em, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that it was bad to be gay. I don't know what I meant in general to be honest."
"It's fine, no problem," I look out the window instead of meeting her gaze.
"Emily please look at me. Please," she whispers. I turn my eyes to hers but don't say anything in response. "I'm sorry. For what I said and for being so fucking stupid when I made out with that guy. I didn't know what I was feeling in the bathroom, and I was scared. No, scratch that," JJ shakes her head before continuing. "I wanted to kiss you in the bathroom. I wanted to feel your fingers on my skin. I had absolutely no idea how to process that, so I did something really shitty. I wanted you to see me kiss him. I wanted you to be mad at me so maybe I wouldn't have to address this," a tear slides down her cheek, and she reaches for me. "But then when you wouldn't even look at me, it was like a slap in the face. I can't lose you, Em. I should've just kissed you in the bathroom like I wanted to instead of —"
I cut her off mid-sentence by pressing my lips to hers. She gasps in surprise but kisses me back immediately. I move my hands to her face as I feel her fingers tangle in my hair. My tongue skims her bottom lip briefly before I bite it. The moan that escapes her makes me smile.
Both of us are breathing heavily as I pull back.
"Okay. So that's what it's like to kiss me. We good now, Jen?" I swipe my thumb along my lips.
"Yep. We're totally good."
"Perfect. Let's go catch whoever this son of a bitch is."