After everyone left Sarah walked around the apartment cleaning the glasses that were thrown everywhere, she started putting them together on one of the trays without noticing Magnus who walked into the living room "You don't actually have to do this" He started watching the brunette.
Without turning to him she answered, "I was the one who convinced you to throw the stupid party in the first place." She continued putting the glasses together before turning around walking past Magnus.
"Sarah, we need to talk." He started making the brunette stop in her tracks, she sighed putting the tray on one of the tables.
She realized that after he literally saw her about to jump off that ledge that he would have questions and concerns that she ought to talk to him about it, "Seeing you standing on that ledge was devastating." He started.
She approached the warlock with steady steps, "Look it was the hallucinations or the magic nothing serious, I'd never do something like this, okay?"
"I know. But magic can't create fears or guilt, only bring them out." He informed her making the brunette look to the side, "Magnus-"
"I've seen enough suffering in my time to know that everyone handles it differently, don't be the one who bottles it." Sarah rolled her eyes passing her hand through her hair.
"Would you stop?" He frowned at her as she approached him, "Stop treating me like I'm a shell of a woman who is broken to the core. I'm neither broken Magnus nor do I need to be fixed you have to understand that." Sarah stated before walking out of the living room in a hurry.
She breathed into the night air with thoughts swarming her head as she walked aimlessly through the streets, tonight was definitely eventful for her but perhaps Sarah always knew that this time would come where she'd have to tell Magnus about her past, there's no denying any feelings anymore sure she was guarded but she was willing to let Magnus in.
Sarah bit into her inside cheek as she walked back into Magnus' apartment after her little stroll, she saw the warlock sitting on the armchair with his back to her and a bourbon glass in hand, "I'm sorry for pushing you away." She started approaching the warlock slowly.
"It's kind of your thing, right?" He retorted taking a sip of his own drink without turning to the brunette, but Sarah shook her head walking to the armchair standing in front of Magnus.
"Magnus, I've never felt that way about anyone before I'm scared that once you know the things that I did that you'd look at me differently, that you'd see me as nothing but a monster, I can take anything in the world but I can't take you hating me. " She admitted and perhaps this was the first time that Sarah was honest about what she felt.
Magnus knew that, knew that it wasn't easy for her to admit her feelings he understood her so he stood up looking at her with soft eyes, "I'd never hate you no matter what you did or what you're going to do. " Sarah looked up at him waiting for the warlock to continue.
"Sarah, all your life you've been carrying a burden on your shoulders all alone, but right now you're not you have me so let me be there for you that's all I ask." They both didn't take their eyes off of each other as an understanding settled between them.
Sarah nodded her head walking to the balcony staring ahead at the view she grew to love and the peacefulness she felt while standing there, "I was sixteen, Kayla was a teenage vampire I never knew how old she really was, Valentine kidnapped her, put her in a cage for his sick experiments." She explained her back turned to Magnus who listened intently.
"Day after day, we two became friends, bonding over the fact that neither one of us had her freedom and I thought maybe she and I could escape. I had everything we needed I knew the timing the guards went off, I knew where Valentine was supposed to be. I so naively thought that I could actually escape that hell hole."
"But he knew all along, he knew my plan. And like any other thing he was one step ahead of me. He let all the downworlders out of their cages, but that wasn't the only surprise there, Valentine made a warlock cast a spell on them I don't know what it was but they all turned mad, vampires were filled with hunger, werewolves with their random transformations. "
Flashback
A younger Sarah stood with her bow and arrows ready granted her hand was shaking but she never took her eyes off of the downworlders that were completely out of control her eyes darted with fear as she stared at them unable to make a decision and how could she when a fifteen years old blonde girl stood beside her wincing m, "Kayla, What's going on?" Sarah wondered with ragged breath.
"It's Valentine. He must have done something, I......I can't control it, Sarah" Sarah turned to the blonde girl to see fangs protruding from her teeth, "I don't think they can control it too," Kayla remarked as she stared at the other vampires and werewolves who were definitely raging towards the two girls.
"Get behind me," Sarah demanded as she started firing her arrows towards the mad downworlders who were rushing towards the girls in a hurry an arrow shot after another yet it seemed that it wasn't even slowing them down so the brunette opted to use her blade throwing her bow and arrow aside.
Sarah sliced her blade left and right killing as many downworlders as she can until she stood with blood spattered on her face and bodies laying around her in a mess of blood, she looked around her searching for her blonde friend until out of nowhere the blonde vampire jumped on the brunette with her fangs on full display ready to bite into the shadowhunter, Sarah struggled with the vampire on top of her trying to reach for her blade as Kayla had already bit her drinking blood straight from her neck.
Tears slid down the brunette's cheek as she pierced the blade into the vampire's heart making the girl vanish into a pile of ashes, Sarah stood up looking around the place with tears seeing the blood and the bodies everywhere, she heard footsteps behind her so she turned around with her blade ready seeing no one other than Valentine himself clapping his hands at her, "A true warrior, indeed." He remarked with a proud smile.
"You did this." She yelled with her hands shaking staring at Valentine with tears of betrayal her lips quivering in fear as he smirked at her, "I'm afraid this was all you, Sarah. All I did was give you a reason and you delivered. Saved me the effort of having to execute them myself." He turned to his men, "Take her."
End of Flashback
"It's not guilt, Magnus. It's shame and grief." She remarked turning to Magnus with tears sliding down her cheeks as she tried so hard to hold them back but she wasn't successful, and without any further words exchanged between them the warlock wrapped his arms around the brunette who hid her face in his chest crying her eyes out at one of the memories that haunted her.
"Let it all out, Sarah. Let it all out, I'm here." He whispered in her ear as she lost herself in the moment holding into Magnus as long as she could finding her peace in his arms.
The next day, the brunette woke up to find a blanket dropped over her she looked around realizing she was still at Magnus' apartment, "Wakey wakey" Magnus chirped putting a breakfast tray on the round table that was beside the couch, she groaned sitting up with half-closed eyes, "What time is it?"She wondered groggily.
"Around 11" He answered as he stared at the brunette, "I suggest we take a stroll around the city, what do you say?" He suggested with raised eyebrows not taking his eyes off of the brunette.
She nodded agreeing to Magnus' suggestion of taking a stroll out, he was about to turn around to leave before she stopped him, "Hey" she put her hand on his arm stopping him as he turned to look at her "Thank you for yesterday" Magnus patted her hand affectionately, "You don't need to thank me for anything. " They both shared a smile.
After finishing their breakfast, the brunette walked into the balcony breathing the fresh air of the morning, it was s while before the warlock joined her, "So I was thinking if I prevent Valentine from activating the soul sword then I'd be saving the downworld." She started as Magnus turned to her shaking his head at her, "They're all not your responsibility."
"I know", She gazed at him, "You are." turning back to look at the view she continued, "But it's more than that, Magnus, this could very well be my redemption for all I've done."
The warlock frowned at her tilting his head in question not getting what the brunette was hinting at, "Sarah, what are you......" He was cut off when the front door was slammed open by Clary and Jace who rushed into the apartment, the warlock rolled his eyes before he and Sarah went inside staring at the couple, "Don't you people have phones?" Magnus asked with vexation
Jace dismissed his question quickly, "We need your help." Clary showed Magnus her hand which was black and hard making the couple grow serious at the situation.
Clary and Jace settled on the couch while Magnus used his magic on the redhead's hand but it appeared that it wasn't working, "La Chair Brûlée." Magnus muttered gazing into the distance as Clary frowned, "I'm guessing that's not a dessert."
"It means "the burnt flesh". It's an old blood oath spell." The warlock informed them as Sarah nodded, "It must be Iris. She said you owed her a favor." She concluded glancing at Clary.
A look of realization hit the redhead, "At Max's party, she said I have to find Madzie."
"Then we better start looking. I can get rid of the pain, but that's about it. I'm afraid once the magic reaches your heart..., " Magnus shook his head ominously looking down hating to be the one delivering this news, "So if I don't find Madzie... I'm dead." Clary concluded with wide eyes.
Sarah crossed her arms in front of her chest, "Can't we force Iris to undo it?"
Magnus shook his head, "I wish it were that easy. But blood oath spells are completely binding. Even Iris herself can't reverse it now."