A/N: sorry the previous chapter was short, I was in a rush and trying to finish this one. I cried so much writing this. I apologize in advance for this chapter, and here's the tissues.
Tommy Lee, December 23 1987
I flop down on Vinces couch, twiddling my thumbs. I haven't been hanging out with him as much lately, I've been trying to make sure Nik showers once a month.
His heroin use has gotten way out of hand lately. Most days it's almost terrifying, how he shoots up and then turns into this monster like thing. I asked him to quit back in February after we couldn't find him for almost an entire day, only to find out he overdosed and was tossed in a dumpster.
I shake my head of those thoughts. Tonight I'm just going to enjoy hanging around my friend. Vince cracks open a beer and hands another one to me as we sit down.
"Ey man so wanna go to a strip club or somethin?" Vince asks.
"I don't know. I kinda just want to stay in. Especially because I'm trying to be loyal to Nikki." I say, taking a gulp of the bitter tasting beer.
"Wait so you guys can't even fuck chicks?" Vince asks.
"No! We're dating. In fact if you two weren't at each others throats currently, I would've invited him." I defend, slugging Vince on the shoulder.
"Okay okay I got it." Vince groans, holding his injured shoulder.
"Aren't you supposed to be on a sobriety kick or some shit?" I ask, gesturing to the beer Vince grasps.
"I don't have an appointment with my parole officer until next week." Vince replies. I nod, and we talk until I slowly fall into a light sleep.
-maybe an hour later-
"Tommy. Tommy buddy get up." Vinces frantic whispers come, breaking me from my sleep.
I swear a raindrop falls on me. But as I wake up, I see that Vince is in tears. His face is pale and I can't quite figure out what's happening. In the background the T.V. has been turned down, but I can still hear the old movie that was playing.
"Vince, what's wrong?" I ask, rubbing my eyes.
"Tommy- Tommy don't freak...please don't freak out..." Vince stutters, although he seems like he's freaking out.
"What is it?" I question, sitting up.
"Tommy...we go-gotta get to the hospital. Fisher called me...Nikki overdosed." Vince stumbles, slipping shoes on.
My heart drops to the floor and I can feel my entire body tense. A cold wave washes over me, making me shiver involuntarily. It's like someone shoved my finger into an electrical socket. That can't be right. Nikki couldn't have overdosed.
"Tom-Tommy they think he's dead. It's unconfirmed but still. Jesus." Vince mumbles, grabbing his keys.
"He's...he's not dead..." I try to convince myself.
"C'mon." Vince says, dragging me out the door.
I'm shaking like an earthquake has hit. I don't want him to be dead. I never got to tell him how much I really love him. He needs to be okay. God I know I should've confronted him about his heroin use in the bathroom that day. I'll tell him about my concerns when he wakes up.
"DRIVE FASTER!" I yell anxiously.
Vince looks over at me, his hands practically shaking. He needs to hurry his ass up. I'm going to spontaneously combust.
"Tommy shut up okay?" He instructs, shifting gears as we head towards Cedar Sinai Medical Center.
Mick and Doc are already there when we arrive, and I'm going to throw up at any second. I pace the waiting area, ignoring the man who is blubbering on the phone in the hallway. God why won't they tell us anything?
"Tommy sit down you're going to walk a hole in the floor." Doc growls, grabbing my shoulder
I turn around and grab him by the shirt, all sorts of emotions coursing through my body as I do. "Fuck you McGhee. Fuck you. The love of my life is probably laying with a tube down phis throat right now and you want me to sit down?!" I exclaim, shoving him backwards.
"Fuck kid..." Doc mumbles, sitting back down.
I resume pacing. After what feels like hours I look up at the clock. It's been 2 minutes. My head is spinning with thoughts and my heart is pounding. I just need him to be okay.
I don't care if I can never touch cocaine, weed, alcohol, ecstasy or any other drug or alcoholic beverage again, I'm gonna help him get clean. I can't even think about losing him.
"You're the party that is here for Nikki Sixx?" A nurse asks.
Me, Mick, Vince and Doc all stop and stare at the nurse. Her face is unreadable, and my heart starts to race. Doc nods.
"I'm very sorry. We couldn't save your friend." She apologizes, twisting her gloves.
"W-what do you mean?" I ask, breath leaving my lungs. The room starts to fade, my mind spiraling.
He can't really be dead. My best friend, scratch that, the love of my life, can't be dead.
"We were too late to revive him. His brain activity was gone and his body followed right after." The nurse says.
I can feel my legs give out, folding beneath me as I crumple to the floor. The pain of my loss is already sinking in, stabbing at my heart with a thousand needles. My mind is like a puddle, and thoughts are just slipping out.
"I'm sorry kid. I'm sorry." I hear Mick say, as he hugs me.
I don't want to cry in front of the guys, but I can't help it. The tears start to fall rapidly. Pain stings at my eyes, creeping deep in my throat and lungs. For what seems like forever, I sob into Micks arms.
"Hey we gotta go say goodbye to him, come on Tommy." Mick says, slipping away from me and standing up.
I look up and see the nurse and Doc standing over me through blurred eyes. I reluctantly get to my feet. The tears are still streaming down my face, and I wipe them quickly.
"Are you ready to see him?" Mick chokes out, and I can see tears running down his pale face.
I nod shakily, and Doc hands me his jacket as we walk back to the room they've placed him in.
"Doc- Doc I wa-was such...such an asshole to him." Vince sobs, clutching Doc.
I can barely look as two nurses pull back the white sheet that covers him. His face is pale and lifeless, eyes half lidded, and his lips are blue.
Oh god. Oh god. He's actually dead. I can't believe this. He finally went too far. I always knew something would happen if he continued.
"Nikki...Nikki oh god. Oh fucking hell. Babe-baby you...you-you're my everything. Fuck I'm so sorry- sorry that I couldn't help you...fuck...you'll always be the love of my life..." I sob, tears falling again as I grab his cold hand.
His arms are covered with injection marks, veins visible. He didn't deserve to die. He was too young. And he especially didn't deserve to die like this.
I was too late to help him.
——
A/N: this story isn't over just yet *evil laugh*