—
My phone vibrates in the back pocket of my jeans, making my pace automatically slow as I reach back to retrieve it. My eyebrows furrow at the unsaved number, but my confusion is subsided when I read the message.
Unknown: Hey it's Zayn
can you stop by the shop
when you're free?
Is now okay?
Zayn: perfect.
I shrug off the text, enjoying the nice weather as I continue walking, hoping I'll be able to remember where the shop is located just from the few times I've been there.
The weather is nice, it's just the beginning of April and I've been feeling better. Recently I've been triggering all of my emotions into Tony sketches whenever I get the chance. Whether it's on my hand or a random sticky note. And I've found that it's really helping. Even though a lot of the times their shitty little drawings, it's still a good way to not bottle my feelings up inside.
The sun shines through the few clouds that litter the sky. And I think the nicer weather is a big help to my mood. I don't have seasonal depression but it's common for some to become sad during the winter months due to the lack of sunshine. But Harry's has been exceptionally grumpy the past few days and I don't really know why.
I glance down the second alley, stopping to find the familiar red door before I continue walking. The gravel crumbles around my shoes as I walk, gently pushing the red door open and peeking inside.
"Hey cutie!" Tiff smiles at me from the couch, her legs propped up on the coffee table. She closes the book she had been reading and tosses it beside her. "He's with a client but he'll be done shortly." She informs me.
The place has definitely had some work done to it since I'd last been here and it looks really good. More art has been added to the walls which draws my attention in immediately. The pieces are minimalistic but still extremely cool and well designed.
"Did you just come from class?" Tiff asks me. I glance over at her and nod, moving to sit on one of the free chairs, setting my bag down beside me.
"Yeah, last one for the week." I breathe. It feels good to have a small break, today was my English test and I'm praying I did well on it, I can't afford to fail it or else I'll have to retake the semester next year. "Do you know why Zayn asked me to come here?" I ask, Tiff shaking her head.
"No clue." She shrugs, running her fingers through her hair. It's still a jet black color and lacks any bright dye. Her eyes flicker behind me which causes me to turn around, watching as Zayn comes walking out with a large man who has his biceps wrapped with Saran Wrap, exposing the new dark ink and the irritated skin around it.
"Sorry about that." Zayn mutters when the man has left. I shake my head easily as he sits beside Tiff and pulls out a cigarette from his pack, lighting it effortlessly. "I'm looking for an artist." He speaks, smoke flowing out of his mouth as he does so.
"Like to give tattoos?" I question, Zayn grinning as he shakes his head.
"No just like a tattoo designer." He explains carefully. "Basically you'll just take the online orders of clients who are making appointments and know the design they want, you'll get the details and trace it out for me so that way the whole process is smooth sailing." He tells me.
"You want me to do it?" I question, Zayn nodding his head as he hollows his cheeks and takes another drag from his cigarette.
"Of course, I mean you're a pretty good fucking artist." He laughs. I smile and shrug my shoulders, intertwining my fingers in my lap nervously. "I'll pay you, it's a super easy job you'll just hang around the shop, take calls and occasionally check people in for walk-ins."
"Are you being serious?" I ask, Zayn and Tiff both laugh now causing me to huff, my eyes flickering between them and landing on Zayn's hand as he puts his smoke out.
"I'm being serious, jobs yours if you want it, if not it's not a big deal." He shrugs casually. I grin and nod my head excitedly. "You want it?"
"Fuck yeah, I want it." I laugh, Zayn nodding proudly as he smiles and stands from the couch, reaching over the crowded coffee to shake my hand. I notice the multiple tattoos covering his fingers, seeing them up close for the first time since knowing him.
"I'm looking forward to this." He nods, our hands detaching. "The hours will be chill and you'll start at eighteen an hour." He calls over his shoulders as he moves the register, the door swinging open revealing what looks like another client of his.
"This is exciting." Tiff tells me, earning my attention. I smile and nod my head in agreement, smoothing my palms down my thighs out of nerves. "He's looking into hiring another tattoo artist which is kind of lame." She shrugs. "It'll help him out with the stress but it's chill having just us all the time."
"Maybe the new artist will be cool." I mutter, Tiff shrugging her shoulders as she twirls a piece of her hair around her finger.
My phone begins ringing under my thigh causing me to quickly lift my leg and grab it, a photo of Harry and I flashes across the screen with his name, my thumb sliding over the answer button.
"Hey baby—"
"Where the fuck are you?" Harry's voice is snappy and harsh across the line. It must've been louder than I thought because Tiffs head snaps up in my direction, her lips parting with utter shock, just the same as me.
"Okay, do you want to try that again?" I speak back into the phone, hearing Harry shuffling over the line, a few irritated grunts echoing into my ear causing me to roll my eyes.
"Clover, I'm not in the mood today." He replies, my mouth gaping open at his shitty attitude. I shake my head, leaning my back into the chair cushion as Tiff furrows her eyebrows at me with confusion. I shrug my shoulders as a silent response.
"Seems like you haven't been in the mood all week, Harry." I mutter back. "And since when do I have to run every thing I do by you first?" I continue, Tiff pursing her lips at my words causing me to grin and shake my head at her.
"I didn't fucking say that, but I expected you to be at your place after class, I'm here right now." He responds in a fast and impatient tone. My knuckles cracking against my thigh as I roll my eyes at him.
"Well I don't want to be around you if you're going to be mean to me." I sigh quietly. I hear him do the same as I wait for his response, small shuffling noises and the sound of a car door slamming echoes through the line.
"Are you going to tell me where you are or not, baby?" His tone is still harsh causing me to huff and glance over at Tiff who has gone back to reading her book.
"Are you going to stop being a brat and actually be nice to me?" I ask back. He stays silent for a moment, allowing a small smile of victory to crawl onto my lips.
"Yes." He mumbles quietly. "Now tell me." He adds quickly. I can hear the pout in his voice, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as I lean my head back, holding back a small laugh.
"I'm at Zayn's studio." I tell him. "See you soon?" I ask him.
"See you soon."
I end the call and let out a small huff, sliding the small device to the coffee table. Tiff glances at me over the top of her book before she closes it, sending me an apologetic look also it as if she's apologizing on behalf of Harry.
"He sounds like he's in a lovely mood." She jokes causing me to let out a breathy laugh as I run my fingers through my hair, shaking my head and sighing.
"He's been so grumpy all week and I don't understand why." I confess, Tiff frowning at me as she nods her head, giving me a sympathetic look.
"It's the lack of drugs talking, not him." She assures me. I sigh and nod my head, knowing that she is most likely right. Harry had explained to me a while back that that's what happened after a while of being sober. The body lacks the drug and the high so his emotions are all over the place. "But that's still not an excuse for him to talk to you like that." Tiff adds on. "You handle him well." She smiles.
"I know he doesn't mean to snap but I still don't like it. It makes me feel bad." I shrug. Our conversation is cut short when the door is pushed open, revealing Harry whose eyebrows are furrowed deeply, making it known that he's still pissed off. Nice.
"What's up grumpy." Tiff greets him, his eyes rolling as he closes the door behind him. I watch as he walks forward his eyes meeting mine causing him to quickly lean down and press a gentle kiss to my lip.
"Shut the fuck up, T." Harry sighs, my lips falling into a frown at his behavior as he sits down on the couch adjacent to me. But he can't seem to sit still. He keeps fidgeting in his place, cracking his knuckles and twisting his rings around his fingers. I notice a few times that he scratches his arm, Tiff noticing too.
"I'll be back." Tiff says after a moment, my eyes flickering up to hers before they fall back to Harry who huff sand digs in his pocket, retrieving a lighter and his cigarettes.
"Fuck!" He shouts loudly causing me to flinch back, my heart hammering in my chest at his sudden outburst. "I'm out of fucking smokes, how the fuck am I out?" He grumbles to himself, aggressively throwing the white and red pack at the wall, my eyes widening.
"It's just a cigarette." I voice quietly. Harry shakes his head and begins flicking the lighter on and off, the flame appearing and disappearing with every flick of his thumb. "I got a job here." I announce, Harry staring intently at the lighter.
"That's great, baby." He replies lowly, my heart sinking in my chest. I look over my shoulder as Zayn, Tiff and the client come walking out of the back room. Tiff tends to Zayn's client while Zayn makes his way towards Harry, patting his shoulder as he sits beside him. "I need a fucking smoke, do you have one?" Harry asks.
"You need to relax." Zayn tells him as he hands him a cigarette from his own pack, Harry wasting no time in lighting it. His body visibly relaxes when he inhales the tobacco, his shoulders slumping as he closes his eyes.
"I am fucking relaxed." He snaps suddenly, my eyes widening. I grip the edge of the chair tightly as Harry shakes his head. "I'm tired of you guys telling me what I need, Jesus Christ like I'm not twenty-one fucking years old." He barks, Zayn shaking his head as Tiff moves to stand beside me. "Let's go, Clover." Harry mutters.
I look to Zayn who looks at Tiff who grips my shoulders, Harry turning to face the three of us with furrowed eyebrows, the cigarette hanging from his lips.
"No she'll stay." Tiff speaks up, Harry scoffing as he looks between me and the other two, seeming confused. "I'll take her home when she's ready, you are more than welcome to leave though." Tiff spits.
"Tiffany." Zayn warns.
"No, he's scaring the shit out of her, she's not going with him." Tiff states. "That's final." She continues, gently giving my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. I'm sure she can feel my trembling beneath her hands.
"She's my fucking girlfriend, we're fine. You always try to get in the way everything, stay out of our fucking relationship, Tiff!" Harry snaps, Zayn standing from the couch now as he pushes Harry's chest causing him to stumble backwards.
"Let's go." Zayn hisses at him. Harry's eyes meet mine causing shivers to run down my spine. I've never seen him act this way before, I think it's different from when he's high but I don't know, both times he had been different. This time he was angry and it was scary. The loudness and harshness of his voice is something I'm not used to. He's usually always soft around me, he's never seemed so angry like that, especially towards me.
The door closes with a harsh thud, my eyes welled up with thick tears that blur my vision, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. Tiff comes to crouch in front of me, a frown taking over her lips as she looks at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me into her.
"Don't cry, lovey. It's normal for addicts to go through withdrawals, he'll be fine he just has to get through it." She whispers to me, pulling away so I can see her face.
"He wasn't high?" I ask innocently, Tiff shaking her head as she pushes my hair behind my ears, keeping it out of my face as tears drip over my waterline and down my cheeks.
"He's not himself, he'll be just fine and he's with Zayn, he knows how to handle this." She assures me quietly. "Is this the first time you've seen him like this? Withdrawal?" She asks me causing me to nod my head.
"Before we got serious he had shown up to my place at like midnight once or twice, acting super weird and fidgety, but he wasn't violent or loud like that. He was angry, yes. But not like that." I tell her honestly, Tiff nodding her head as she sighs.
"It's just apart of the process." She sighs. I swallow hard and wipe my tears with the sleeves of my sweater which is Harry's. The purple one I really liked on him that he said I could wear. I miss my Harry. I feel like I haven't seen him in so long.
"When will he be back to himself?" I mumble, Tiff chewing her bottom lip as she shrugs her shoulders, my heart sinking in my chest.
"I'm not sure, he needs to curve the craving and he's not very good at that. Meetings help a lot with that but. . ." Tiff trails her words off and I nod my head slowly. "I know it's hard, Clover, and it seems impossible sometimes, but Harry will be better one day, and you'll be glad to have been with him along the way."
"It feels like this constant circle." I whisper, letting my face fall forward as I screw my eyes closed. "I know he's trying, it's obvious. But it's so hard seeing him like this and having no clue how to help him." I breathe.
"I know, but just remember that you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it. Don't drive yourself mad with this, babe." She gently squeezes my shoulder. "Do you want me to take you to your place, mine, somewhere else?" She asks.
"Mine works." I mumble quietly, pushing my hair behind my ear. Tiff nods and sends me a small smile. I feel so useless.
—
Happy update loves, I hope this one was okay. Shit is hitting the fan ladies and gents. I hope you're ready.
Much love
~C