Possible trigger warning up ahead? I'm not sure. Just to be sure, I will put it there, starting with two cursive and bold words. In my eyes, it is nothing major, but if you decide against reading it, I will tell you in the comments what it is so you can see if it actually is something you decide not to read.
I just want to make sure I don't accidentally trigger anything, so I've decided to do it like this.
Enjoy this while waiting for the prema pj party to start! (this is the link to it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATsby9I2viY&feature=youtu.be)
Second race weekend
Hanoi street circuit, Vietnam
Sunday
Sprint race
"Mary, get your arse out of bed." Freja pulled open the curtains. "The sprint race is today."
"Yeah? So what? I am not going to score points either way."
"If you stay in bed you won't. On top of that, you will lose your reserve seat and your place in the Red Bull program as well as your seat at Prema." Marylinde looked conflicted. Her warm and comfortable bed made her feel safe where she felt the entire world was falling down around her once again, but she had worked her entire life for her seat. The Red Bull reserve position. With a loud groan, she threw her covers back.
"I hate it when you are right." Marylinde got up and took her clothes to the bathroom. "Frej, have you seen your boyfriend this weekend already?"
"No, I have been too busy. I'll see him tomorrow before we fly back."
"Does he understand?"
"Of course he does. He is too busy." Freja smiled at the young Danish driver. "Don't worry about it. The two of us are fine."
"Worrying about you is better than worrying about my career." Marylinde scoffed. "It's pathetic, I know, but I just need the distraction." Freja took Marylinde's hands.
"Just don't interfere with my relationship." She winked. "You'll scare him away." They laughed. "Now, get ready, we need to get you to the track."
"You're right." Marylinde took a big breath and scrunched up her nose. "I hate it."
Within five minutes, Marylinde walked out of the bathroom again.
"Let's go shall we" Together, they walked to the restaurant where they got themselves something to eat and met up with Peter. Together, they headed to the track.
It was already busy at the track when they arrived. Special guests, photographers, journalist, engineers, all of them and some more were already walking around.
"Focus Mary," Peter said, knowing very well Marylinde was doing everything in her power to forget about the upcoming race after the result of the day prior. "You are going to race and you are going to do a brilliant job. You are going to pull it off like you have done last time around."
"Stop it with all the positivity. It's making me want to puke."
"Are you sure that isn't the nerves?" Marylinde shook her head, she wasn't sure at all. "Then stop trying to use your nausea as an excuse for everything else but your nerves."
"I can always try." Marylinde grinned. "I mean, honestly, there is but so much positivity I can take."
"So much of our positivity or positivity in general?" Peter started to laugh, after the story he had heard from Freja, he knew what she was talking about. Marylinde however, didn't have a clue of what she was getting at.
"What are you talking about?"
"Pierre is always insanely positive. You seemed to accept it from him." Marylinde frowned. "I saw you and him together yesterday after the feature race. I went after you to make sure you wouldn't do anything stupid. He hugged you and suddenly you got all smiley." Marylinde's cheeks flushed red. "See, I told you, Peter. That Frenchman is weakening her walls."
"Okay. I'll see you at the preparations Peter and you probably somewhere just before the race." Marylinde had never been so happy to walk by the Haas hospitality where she could quickly slip into thanks to her cousin.
"Hey, there we have our little M&M."
"Never mind, I'm out again." Marylinde turned around on her heels.
"Ah, come on." Ever since Marylinde first visited Haas with Kevin, Romain Grosjean had been calling her after the chocolate sweet. It had been too easy with both her first and surname starting with an 'm'. "I'm sorry sweety." Marylinde laughed.
"You are absolutely impossible Romain. Absolutely impossible. But I appreciate it." She hugged the older Frenchman. "How are you? And Marion and the kids?"
"I'm good, but why don't you ask the rest for themselves?" Romain nodded behind Marylinde and se turned around swiftly, smiling at Marion and the three boys.
"Marion!" Marylinde gave her a hug and then ruffled the hair of all three boys. "Kids."
"What lovely surprise running into you."
'Needed to escape my trainer and PR for a little. They are driving me insane."
"Oh no, what did they do to you." Marion was grinning, making Marylinde laugh.
"They think I like a boy." It made Marion's grin widen. "No, please don't."
"Just curious to know whether I know him."
"Possibly." Romain chuckled.
"Does it happen to be Pierre?" Marion looked at her husband, a frown on her face when Marylinde nodded.
"How did you know?"
"I was talking to Pierre yesterday. His trainer is giving him the same trouble." Marylinde's cheeks flushed red. Freja was right, Pierre was pulling down her walls, she never blushed that easily. "He was trying to get away from it as well." Marion looked back at Marylinde.
"Oh, Romain, look! She's blushing.
"Marion, please, I love you, stop." A pair of arms slipped around Marylinde's waist. "Morning Kev."
"Morning. How's my favourite cousin doing this morning?"
"I'm doing great." The sarcasm dripped off her words, but a soft grin was playing on her lips. "They are harassing me." Kevin's brows furrowed together. "They think I like someone, but we're going to skip this conversation."
"Shouldn't you start to get ready for the race?" Marylinde looked at her watch and sighed deeply.
"I should."
"Marylinde?" Said looked down at Sacha, the eldest son of Marion and Romain. "May I come with you? Watch the race from your team?" He looked up at his mom as well too as to ask her for permission at the same time.
"If it's okay with your mother." Marylinde looked at Marion as well and pouted. "May I take my little buddy with me?" Marion chuckled.
"Sure, but you listen to Marylinde and Freja. I do not want to hear you caused any trouble."
"I won't mom. Thank you!" He took Marylinde's hand and together they left the Haas facilities. "Can I do your warming up with you?"
"Of course. If you think you can keep up." Marylinde winked at the eight-years-old. "Now, come on." They took off in a slow jog to the Prema trailer. "I'm going to get changed really quickly, wait here for a moment." Marylinde got into the trailer to quickly put on her fireproof underwear and her suit.
"Damnit, forgot to knock again." Mick turned his back on her immediately, his hand covering his eyes.
"Don't worry, I'm dressed." She patted Mick on the shoulder. "Good luck, please win." She winked. "Either you or Callum, but seeing he starts behind me, I think the only one with a chance to win is you." She stepped out of the trailer. "Come on Sach, let's find Peter." It wasn't that hard finding Peter, seeing he was on his way to the trailer. They looked for a good place to quietly do the warming up and started, assisted by Sacha.
"Now Sach, do you know the exercises with the tennis balls?" The boy nodded. "Do you want to do it?" Peter held the bright balls in his outstretched hands.
"Really?" Sacha's eyes started to glimmer with excitement.
"Yes, I'm sure you will do well." Sacha took the tennis balls and Marylinde got on her knees in front of him and placed her hands on his. Sacha had a serious look on his face and dropped the left ball. Marylinde quickly caught it before it hit the ground and gave hit back. He dropped it again, then both and then the right. "You are a natural. You should become a trainer!" Sacha's smile got so wide it lit up the entire place.
"Are we done now?" Marylinde and Peter both nodded and Sacha crossed his arms. "You better win the race now." Marylinde gave the boy a tight hug.
"If I don't, I know it won't be because of my warming up."
"Still, you need to win."
"I will do my best, that's a promise." She hooked her pink through Sacha's. "Pinky promise." Marylinde pulled her suit up from her waist. "Now I've got to go. Thanks, Pete. Sach, let's go look for Frej so you can watch the race with her."
When Sacha was safe with Freja, Marylinde put on her helmet and got in the car. A lap onto the grid, and then some final preparations before they would start the formation lap. A strong performance was all they were asking of her. A strong performance for the crowd, no points were set as a goal, no podium or win, just a good drive. It pissed Marylinde off. As if she couldn't get into the points. As if it was impossible for her to get into the top eight in the car she had, with her talent. She had shown she could overtake, she had done it just a couple of weeks prior, had they lost faith in her over that time.
It was slowly driving her insane. Knowing deep down that she would have been just as insecure if they had set a goal for points because that meant she could only fail them as the points were fourteen places up ahead.
It would be ten minutes before the start of the race, it gave her just enough time to get out of the car again and take her helmet off for a little. Some fresh air and a bit of relaxing music should do the trick.
It didn't. With six more minutes before she would have to be in the car for the formation lap, she was freaking out. Everyone noticed, but no one knew what to say. Freja had tried, Peter had, René, Angelina, none had managed to calm her down.
"Marylinde, please." Her breathing was fast, shallow and they were scared she was going to have a panic attack, right there on the grid. She was known to have them ever so often. Freja had left a couple of minutes before, running towards the formula one paddock, looking for someone who could try to calm her. No one wanted to take any of the formula two drivers away from their preparations, Marylinde would be fuming if they did, so she made sure to stay out of sight from Callum, who was only a couple of meters away from her.
She shook her hands rapidly, she needed to calm down, she knew she couldn't race like this, she would be a danger to herself and others.
"Is everything okay here?" An engineer from Virtuosi stood with Gino.
"Yeah, everything is..."
"Is she?" The engineer only had to take one look at Marylinde to know something was up. He mentioned towards the Virtuosi team and within seconds, Callum was there, a worried frown on his face.
"Mary..." He walked up to her, hugging her tightly, knowing she needed just that. The tight grip making her feel safe.
"Callum..."
"Sh." He hushed her and kissed the top of her head. "Is this why you were refusing to look in my direction?" She nodded, almost invisibly, but Callum felt it. "Silly girl, as if making me worry what was going on with you was going to make me have proper focus." Marylinde's breathing got slightly better, but she was still freaking out.
"I've got him." Marylinde stepped back from Callum, looking at not just George, who Freja had found first, but Pierre as well. She frantically tried to wipe away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks, not wanting Pierre to see her like that. George knew of her mental issues, but she didn't want Pierre to know about them as well.
The look on George spoke of sympathy. He knew she struggled and knew what he could do to help her and that she had to do the rest for herself. Pierre had a pained expression on his face. He had no clue that behind the funny, seemingly confident driver, a broken girl was hidden.
After George was done giving his pep-talk, he stepped back, just one more minute before Marylinde would have to put her balaclava and helmet back on to be strapped into the car. Pierre looked unsure of what to do, but stepped forward, doing nothing more than giving Marylinde a hug. She was taken aback by his gesture but enjoyed the quietness of his embrace. No words, just letting her know she could count on him if she needed to.
"Marylinde, are you good to get into the car?" Marylinde looked at René, who clearly showed on his face that he was unsure whether it would be safe.
"I am." She croaked, nerves still racing through her, but the tears had dried and her breathing had slowed down again. "I'm good." Pierre's hand was still on her shoulder, giving her the little bit of reassuring she needed to be actually fine to get into the car.
"We'll be here, watching from the pit lane. If you need anything, just say it over the radio, we'll say something back if needed." Marylinde moved to hug George and then Pierre before she took her helmet from Peter.
"Let's do this." She mumbled before getting into the car. "I can do this."