celestial strings | h.js

one.

"Oh, wow. I almost forgot how much I hated talking to you." You widened your eyes in pretend shock. "What nihilistic bible did you get that from?

"I'm saying there is a reason for everything you do, and the reason doesn't have to be your fault," Seungmin clarified assertively. He wanted to make sure you understand your actions were not (entirely) a reflection of your morals despite their consequences. Then he cleared his throat and grimaced. "And, uh, it's actually just behavioral psychology. Not that you'd know anything about that."

You stared at him in silence. Seungmin responded by being your mirror image because he wasn't sure what you were thinking. You were not thinking of much aside from the want to be playful with a friend, which you have not done in a while. Therefore, still maintaining the silence and the same deadpan gaze, you reached behind your bag and unzipped the front pocket.

Seungmin realized you were taking your magic strings out. He debated making a distasteful joke about you using magic on regular people. He did not make the joke.

"Come here," you said with a funny beckon of your head. Your hands were busy wrapping red strings around your fingers. "I just wanna talk, Seungmin."

He began to take stuttering steps back while you advanced toward him. He held up his hands in mock surrender, and airy chuckles parted between words. "It's cool. We can talk from a distance. What did I even say? What did I even say–hey! Don't chant anything! Stop it!"

You widened your eyes with a grin when Seungmin suddenly dove toward you, hoping to snatch away the red strings from your hands. You swiftly hopped away from him, making him jolt forward when you were nowhere to be grasped as he had expected. Seungmin grunted slightly as he pulled himself together, only to immediately dash from his standing spot when he realized there was ample time for you to begin chasing him in circles again.

Your missed laughter rang in his ears, making him lose track of time. He missed his best friend dearly.

Before he knew it, he had run himself out of the allotted duration reasonable for retrieving something from his locker. He snapped out of it once he remembered his friends were still waiting for him outside the school gate, and he waved at you to pause the friendly chase. He panted once you stopped with a tilt of your head, and he waved his hand again in dismissal.

"I have to go back," Seungmin said. "They're waiting for me outside, which you already know."

Your heart dropped, but acceptance was quick to catch it. Fiddling with your fingers, you did not bother to unwrap the red strings around your fingers as you watched Seungmin gather himself and stand up straight. You flashed him a brief smile that conveyed a sorrowful farewell he wished he could change. He was going to talk you into coming back, into meeting everyone outside the school gate, but the reassurance you needed could not come from him. It can only come from the person you were avoiding, which was the tricky part of it all because you refused to meet Jisung and wouldn't believe his reassurance.

Supposed he would just have to wait.

"Text me anyway," Seungmin requested softly. "And maybe Hyunjin and Felix too."

You sighed. There was no harm in that. "Okay."

He went in for a hug this time, which you gladly accepted. This was a goodbye with a footnote craving out the date of a future meeting.

"Do you have a place to stay?" he asked during the embrace. "You can stay with me."

"I'm okay, Seungmin," you replied with a pat on his back, your eyes shutting into a peaceful smile. "I'll text you after work."

Your relieved smile was a sure sight, a tender view, for Jisung, who stood on the open porch that connected the school building to the backyard. Crescent eyes and crescent lips broke his heart into pieces he could not rearrange to fit by himself. You would rather meet secretly with Seungmin than return to him after every apologetic missed call and unread text because he hurt you. He hurt you. You hurt them, Jisung reminded himself.