celestial strings | h.js

one.

Seungmin opened his mouth, wanting to speak but unable to because his mind was blanking out. Eventually, he found it in himself to speak. "I'm sorry about what I said that day. About your magic being unconventional."

You shook out a breath, finding the willpower in yourself to breathe normally after so long. Every day felt like a knot in your chest, sucking in your oxygen and craving for your impending end. You missed the daily life you used to have; you missed having a place to go home to, you missed your friends, and you really missed being with Jisung.

The first thing you gave him was a huff of amusement. Then you jumped in your steps, moving forward and engulfing him in a surprising hug. Seungmin grew into a smile of his own, accepting the hug graciously, knowing how hard it was to overcome the distaste for human touch. He was the same way with people, but since he had not seen you in a while, he supposed he could make an exception.

"How have you been, Seungmin?" you asked, the evidence of joy clear in your straining voice.

"Annoyed that you ghosted all of us," he replied somewhat jokingly. "If you want to ghost Jisung, fine. But I am not part of the argument you guys had. I do not deserve to be ignored. Neither do Hyunjin and Felix."

You pulled a remorseful face as you pulled away from the short embrace. You did feel bad about disregarding all of their questions and constant check-ups. You went as far as not to tap into the notifications so they do not know whether you even read their messages; you did it once on purpose for Felix, and you figured he might have thought it a technical mistake, so he never told anyone.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I needed some time alone."

You had engulfed yourself with a simple furrow of your brows. Throwing guilt at you was the last thing Seungmin wanted to do, but he figured it wasn't his choice whether you would shoulder everything by yourself or not. You were doing it in front of him, your thought process adding tons of stress atop what you were already experiencing when he accused you of leaving no traces behind.

His heart ached to see you like this. The witty and independent friend he adored back then was swapped with someone needing comfort and understanding. That friend was tired of causing people roadblocks in their smooth-sailing life.

"Yeah," Seungmin nodded, "did you have enough of it? I hate to say this, but we're all getting tired of Jisung throwing temper tantrums because you're not with him."

Your lips arched downward into a nostalgic smile. "How is he doing?"

"Very bold of you to ask, actually!" Seungmin replied with a rare exclamation.

It took you one look to know that he was being sarcastic. You groaned at the knowing expression on his face that seemed to be putting you at fault for every terrible attitude Jisung had given him the past weeks because you wanted to play as a missing person. The worst was that he has all the right to blame you for his share of the consequences that have nothing to do with him. You have exaggerated the problem a bit.

"Seungmin," you muttered with a downward arch of your lips, urging him to tell you the truth.

"He's sorry, and he wants you to come back home," he replied.

You sighed deeply and squeezed your eyes shut as if Jisung's yearning for you caused complications to your returned daily routine. Your back arched and bent like an exhausted mother would, then you pursed your lips to clear the drying tongue in your mouth that had something to say.

"He is right, you know?" you said. "I just do whatever I want."

Seungmin grimaced. "We don't have free will."