Rage With Benefits

Chapter 33: Spaces Filled

I do, Ian thought to himself, his jaw clenching. I remember every single one of them. But that's besides the point.

The thing is, he remembers everything. He can't forget about the bad ones, alright? Nor will he ever do anytime soon, but he can't get over them just as well as he can't toss the great ones aside. He's trying. He's trying really hard to forget Bryce but he can't. Not with this paranoia making jokes, pointing at him in his head while his captain is practically M.I.A. for days and it doesn't even look like anyone in this school other than him cares.

"He's done this a lot, Ian. He could probably just be a little sick, eating hot pizza in his well-heated room as we speak, and you're here, risking a cold over his lousy wallet," Emery told him. "Just saying. I'm your best friend and I love you so when I see you making risky moves over your good-for-nothing ex-fondue partner, it's my duty to tell you that you're being stupid."

"It's been three days, Emery," Ian gritted his teeth as he finally spoke, shoving the wallet on his lap as he tried not to sound more agitated than he already was. "He never once showed up in class. He missed three exams yesterday alone. Three. He's so far behind, and- and I know I'm not supposed to care because he's a jerk but..."

Ian suppressed another glare. He gets why his best friend is overly furious about any mention of Bryce, but he can't shake the urge to tell him to cut it out. It's not nothing. It can't be nothing. "I can't find him anywhere," he said calmly as he nibbled on his nails. "He disappears out of the blue, he doesn't join us at lunch- I don't even know if he's having lunch."

Emery was about to ask him if something else was wrong when Ian stood up abruptly, letting out a sigh that sounded as heavy as the thoughts he'd bottled up with it.

"Blake told me he went to Bryce's house yesterday but he wasn't there. He said one of their helpers opened the door and told him Bryce hasn't been home in weeks," Ian's voice started trembling while Emery didn't try to make a sound as this was his first time hearing this. Weeks? "I could tell he was worried," Ian made a noisethe he couldn't quite decipher as the brunet slumped back on his seat. "I'm mad at Bryce, Em. I hate him. I hate him with every fiber of my being and I told myself that I was going to hate him until I die and I was going to use w-whatever's left of me to hate him even more but goddammit I'm worried!"

The brunet stopped pacing when he realized he was screaming. "I don't know what to do... I'm not supposed to be feeling like this but I'm worried, Em and I... I don't know I- I can't help it."

When Emery heard a sniffle and saw the way Ian's been keeping the redhead from seeing his face, he realized guiltily that he's been looking over how his best friend's actually feeling all day. You should know, he told himself. You said it yourself, he cares way too much. And this whole Bryce being practically missing mustn't be too easy for him.

"I want to know where he is but I don't want to want to know because we're done! We- we were done," Ian groaned as Emery got on his feet to crouch beside him. "I just... what if something happened? What if something happened because he's avoiding me?"

It was Emery's turn to let out a heavy sigh as he patted Ian's shoulder, convincing himself that the brunet was just undergoing a severe case of Bryce withdrawal and is inflicting his anger on a wallet. Nonetheless, he knew he could've acted better. "I'm sorry..." was all he could softly say as he started to feel his best friend's frustration reflecting itself on him. "But look, you're blaming yourself again. I thought we agreed we're not doing that again."

"He's okay. I'm sure he's fine," Emery assured him. "Asher's doing sit-ups at the gym, you can give it to him. Maybe he can contact Bryce, ask him what's up," he informed him, Ian nodding 'okay' before his eyes swept over the brunet's shoulders to point his chin in its direction. "Oh, or you can give it to his brother."