Tiger (Brian&Leah,2)

6. Birthday Girl

I am applying red lipstick in front of the mirror when someone knocks on my door.

"Come in," I say.

Annie enters my bedroom and whistles when she sees me. "Look at this bombshell."

"Dork." I laugh. "I can't show up at my party not looking pretty, can I?"

"You look great," Annie says. "Kenzie and I are ready to go."

"Me too."

I swipe the fluffy brush across my cheeks and grab my phone and my small purse, checking the screen before I put the gadget away, shoving it into one of the compartments.

Annie sighs. "I'm sorry, Leah."

"It's okay. I don't even know why I thought he would remember."

"I don't know how he could forget," Annie mumbles as we pad to the front door where Mackenzie is waiting for us.

***

The campus is swarming with students. It's Friday night, and everyone is eager to party and get rid of the studying-induced stress. 

The bar where we're going to celebrate my nineteenth is called The Nerd, but nothing is nerdy about it. 

The music is great. It's mainly rock, but they mix things up from time to time, adding other genres. It happens tonight, too.

A song of Rebellious Hearts is playing as we make our way in. My eyes water when I realize it's the song Brian and I danced to. Just when I don't want any reminders, they find me on their own. 

"It will be okay," Annie whispers, rubbing my back. 

I say nothing. They say time heals, but it doesn't seem to be working in my case. My pathetic heart is clinging to the distant possibility of Brian texting or calling me, and I suffer at the end of each day when none of that happens. 

It's been months. I went from understanding Brian's guilt to being mad at him. Mackenzie is okay, after all. He has to take it slow for a while, but the accident didn't leave any lasting consequences. And although Mac avoids the topic, I know he misses his best friend. 

"You have to enjoy your evening," says Annie.

Mackenzie cannot drink because of the medication he's still taking, but he orders shots for the two of us.

"To your nineteenth," says Annie, and we raise our glasses.

We down our shots of sweet liquor. I hope to get buzzed enough to stop checking my phone and being pathetic.

Three shots later, Annie is kissing her guy as they sway to a rock ballad. 

Brian loves that song. He kept saying that we would dance to it one day, but it never happened.

Our bucket list is in my drawer at our apartment. We made it longer as months went by, but too many things remained uncrossed.

I wanted to throw the list away many times but didn't. Getting rid of the piece of paper would mean it's definite. Deep down, I know it already is. Too much time has passed. There were many occasions and excuses for Brian to get in touch with me, but he chose not to do it.

Taking advantage of my friends' distraction, I slip out of the bar and sit on a stone bench outside. The chilly air nips at my cheeks and makes me wrap my arms around myself. I consider going back inside, but I see someone familiar walking toward me.

"Hey," I greet Nash.

"Birthday girl," he says, smiling. "What are you doing outside?"

"It was too hot in there."