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Cloudy: I'm the most responsible person in this group.
Jo: You just set the kitchen on fire!
Cloudy: Yes, and I claim full responsibility for that.
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Jo: Guess I'm too tough to cry.
Alix: Just an hour ago you were crying over ghost blobs.
Jo tearing up: They don't have any arms-
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Kay, holding a plastic spine: This is your spine
Pik: What the FUCK, put it back!?
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Jo: I don't know what to get Alix for Christmas
Cloudy: I got them a ps5
Jo:
Jo: Cloudy, did you kill someone for it
Cloudy: That's a secret I'll never tell
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Cloudy: Will you marry me?
Alix: Is that a ring pop?
Cloudy: Is that a ‘no’?
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Everyone: What do you have there?
Pik, hiding Nico: A smoothie
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Maura: So, what’s your goal for the summer?
Jo: I’ve been banned from every major transportation system I know, except for one train in Moscow, Russia
Jo: I don’t know what their limit is, but I’m gonna fucking find it
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Jo: I sort of did something stupid and I need your advice. But I don’t want any judgment or criticism.
Pik: ...and of all people, you came to me?
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Nico: I say “fight me” a lot for someone that cries whenever one of my plushies fall off of the bed in the middle of the night.
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Pik: What's in your bottle?
Alix: Water.
Pik: Doesn't look like water.
Alix, taking a sip: Well damn, Jesus did it again.
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Pik: Oh! It started snowing!
Jo: God has broken out the parmesan, I see
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Cloudy: no. this is real anger.
Cloudy: 100% real genuine rage.
Cloudy: I'm going to commit a felony.
Alix: Cloudy it's just uno, pick up your 4 cards
Cloudy: ITS NEVER JUST UNO BABE
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Jo: DAMN IT
Alix: who THE FUCK taught you how to swear?
Pik:
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Jo: I am an emotional gangster.
Nico: You cried for an hour yesterday after you saw ducklings following their mother.
Jo: [tearing up] They were just lined up so perfectly and they KNEW
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Pik: I'm a confident driver
Nico: You literally just ran over someone
Pik: Confidently.
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Pik: Is 4 a lot?
Alan: Depends on the context
Alan: Dollars? No
Alan: Murders? Yes
-----------------
Maura: Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will".
Pik: I will my parents still loved me.
-----------------
Pik, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, parental figure.
Jo, not looking up from their coffee: Good morning, problem child.
-----------------
Pik: [holds up fancy-looking bottle] Is this whiskey or perfume?
Alan: [grabs the bottle and drinks all of it]
Alan: It's perfume.
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Jo: You were drunk last night
Alan: no i wasn't
Jo: you started cutting pineapples at 3am while yelling "stop hiding SpongeBob I know you're in there!"
Alan:
Alan: did i find him tho
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Maura: they.. ya know.. got intimate
Alix: Sex?
Pik: They slept together?
Kay: They were doing it?
Alan: They did the horizontal greased-weasel tango?
Jo: wtf alan
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Cloudy: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined
Alix: Heck.
Cloudy: You're on thin fucking ice
Cloudy:
Cloudy: oh no
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Maura: Guess what number I'm thinking of!
Kay: 420
Maura: no.. and that was really immature of you. Someone else guess and please take this seriously
Pik: 69
Maura: ya it was 69
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Pik: at my age do you know how im statistically most likely to die?
Jo: At the hands of your roommate
Pik: An accident.
Jo: That's how I'm going to make it look.
-----------------
Kay: Hey I have a knock knock joke but you have to start it
Deano: ok
Deano: knock knock
Kay: who's there?
Deano: what the fuck
