It all started when she called

19. Diffrent

By now i was panicking, and my heart was going so fast i thought it might pop out of my chest and beat my sister up. ''No, no, no, you don't understand. You're not getting the point. Just give me a guide book or something, is there one? There should be.''

Robin exploded with laughter, which made me wack the back of her frizzy head, furrowing my brow.

''Guide book?? A guide book! God, you are an imbecile.''

My face blazed, and i looked at my feet.

''Juniper, can't you see? There is no change that can be made. There is no change that should be made. Love is love. People are people. Lovers are lovers, no matter the gender, or race. You, as a person, can exist. Your not an alien for the love of god, your human. In fact, there's all kinds of different sexualities out there. Guy's can like guys, people like both males and females, others like neither. I have some friends who were born one gender but are really another. There's a lot of people out there, and you, even though you may feel alone, have a whole community waiting for you with open arms.''

Robin pulled me close, putting my forehead to hers. She stared intently into my eyes, and as i stared back, hers filled with love and acceptance, two things i never thought i would get telling someone this.

''And me of course. you will always have me.'' She whispered, and soon i could feel hot tears pouring over my eyelids, streaming down my face and rolling down my neck, falling into her lap.

I fell into her it seemed, and she put her arms tight around me, lightly scratching my back with her thin fingers.

Whimpers slipped through my lips as i silently cried. Even in that moment i couldn't tell what i was feeling, but i knew it filled me up inside and yet drained me. The weight that had been lifted was obvious, and i felt this simmer of happiness dwell inside myself, and yet i was shook to my core. i was relived and scared. feeling full of love and yet drained of life.

"There's a whole community out there?" I spilled, my voice quivering like every bone in my body.

"Oh yeah. That community is everywhere, you just need to find yours, here."

I buried my face in her lap as more feelings washed through me, and my lower lip curled as another stream flowed from my eyes. "And you're okay with me feeling this way? You're not bothered by it?"

Robin laughed, stroking my head. "No, no. You are, that's for sure, but I'm not. I really appreciate you telling me this though. It means everything. I know it can be hard to do."

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. ''No, thank you for listening. I really hope you know how much you mean to me.''

For a brief moment her hand stopped moving, and her voice was so soft it was carried away, but somehow i caught it.

''i do.''

Moments passed, and i looked up at the sky, my head still in my sisters lap. The stars twinkled down at us, and the moon popped from the sky, bright as the sun. My face was dry and my cheeks felt tight from crying, some sort of numbness surrounding me.

i still couldn't believe what i'd done. What Robin had told me still stuck too, both the good and the bad playing over in my head.

she said people can like both genders, so what if... what if Venus..? the way she was staring at me-she said i was attractive, could she-could she be one of those people?

''Juniper...'' the playful tone in Robin's voice made an uncontrollable smirk and blush fill my face, i found myself grateful i was turned from her gaze.

''Now, we can't have this whole conversation without bringing up miss Venus Archer. You where talking about her all of dinner, even describing the way she walks and like-blinks. Give me more here.''

I sat up again, staring at my sister with exhausted eyes. She just seemed to glow brighter at this, her own frolicking.

''C'mon, i know you like this girl. Tell me just... more.''

I bit my lip. i could really use that Pepsi right now.

''More? did i miss something?''

Robin stood up and took a few steps from the porch, laying down on her back in a small grass patch that was the closest we had to a yard. She beckoned for me to join, and i did so, feeling the grass tickle my shoulders.

''You tell me.'' She said, putting her hands behind her head.

I looked up at the sky, pondering. There were so many stars it seemed they were teasing me, saying: like there are many of us, there are many things about Venus. Things you have yet to know. Things you might just not be remembering.

The thought made me nervous I'd forgotten, so I started with what I did know, and let myself drift from there.

"Did I say she has like, grey eyes? And she's really not that bad when she sings. She easily gets sea sick I guess though, and I think she really likes to take pictures. She also told me about this band called "the bugs" I think? Oh! And her hair is always messy, she told me I was attractive too, and you know, her voice is always so soft..."

My mouth ran on until i didn't have anything left to say, and Robin listened the whole time. We stayed up late into the night, laughing and chattering, and things felt the way they used too, blatantly... good. After a few hours and endless back and forth's, we packed it up, and Robin slept on the couch. I took the rout upstairs, and moments after my head hit my pillow, I dreamt of a long road, and people marching along it.

Each waving bright flags, slapping each others backs, holding hands, pumping their fists in the air, or (just to my perfect desire) making out.

They were all shoulder to shoulder, side by side, and I was among them, and a beautiful young woman in my arms.