It all started when she called

19. Diffrent

''i'm not lying!'' Robin whined, which only made me give her an unamused look.

''i know you, we were so close. now tell me the truth, ass wipe.'' My sister gave me an offended look before her face fell, slowly filling with guilt and anxiety. i briefly closed my eyes, taking a breath in.

''Fine.'' she uttered, her voice a mummer.

''i dropped out."

those words. those fucking words. I could almost hear glass shattering in my head, the small pieces of whatever had broken falling to a dark place, clinking noisily on a black floor. Robin looked at me as if she thought I would explode, and was gnawing at her nails so intensely it made me think she would chew them right off.

"You have that stoic look on your face Juniper.'' she stammered. ''The one you get when your in deep thought, or, well, upset."

But I ignored her, my voice seeping from my tongue like water gushing form a clogged drain. "Why though? Why did you quit?"

Robin looked away from me, running her fingers through her thick head of frizzy hair. "Juniper... i dropped out, I didn't quit. You make this sound so, so-bad."

I picked up my Pepsi and hurled it through the yard, watching as the amber colored liquid sprayed behind the can. It nearly hit the back of someone's house, and landed on the grass, fizzing. Robin had jumped, and she stared at me, her eyes frightened.

"That's because it is bad!" I shouted, clenching my jaw.

In what seemed like ages I glared at my gorgeous sister, watching as she seemed to deflate with a pain that was ever so present in her eyes.

"I-I" my voice cracked, sending a jolt of regret and that feeling of weakness through me. I could feel tears rising in my eyes, and I knew if i looked down they would fall.

"I had to quit freshman year so you could go to that place! I missed a year of school,-no less my first of high school- so we could help you pay for a degree. And I chose to do it. I chose to do it because I knew my big sister was the only reason I was alive!"

A tear shot down my cheek, seeming to burn a trail in it's path, leaving me guilty of feeling this way. I knew soon this one drop would be followed by many, and I shut my eyes, taking a breath in.

''I did that all for you because i knew you deserved it. i did that for you because you do. you know you did! why did you have to ruin all that?'' i put my fingers to my temples, furrowing my brow. my own heavy breathing was the only thing i could hear, and it brushed my upper lip, feeling like the heat of a blazing fire. ''you know how much i wanted, and hoped, that at any holiday you would show up at the door with that smile of yours? That i thought one day i just might get a call from you? you never talked to me after you left, never called. And now, after all that, you quit? You just dropped out?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, turning away from my sister as I wiped tears from my cheeks. Why is my voice so frail, why do I have to keep crying? Can't I just talk?

"You threw away your future too, Robin." I turned to her and she looked into my puffy red eyes, bitting her lip.

"And you had a bright one. I just know it by looking at you."