Something Old

Chapter 9

Cas came back and touched Deans face, he was better. Dean runs over to me and lifts me off the car, he had my blood all over him, "Cas! Can you help her?!" He tilts his head and walks to Bobby first he brings him back and comes over to me, he touches my head and I take a deep breath, "Oh thank god!" "Dean?" "Yeah baby." "You're ok?" "I'm alive." He held me, "Cas how are you back?" "I don't know but I'm new and improved." Dean helped me up, "Sam?" "He uh.." He just put his head down. "I'm so sorry." Cas left and Dean, Bobby and I got in the impala and left, we drove a couple hours to Bobby's, "You guys wanna stay here tonight?" I looked at Dean, "Whatever you wanna do." He just looked so somber, "I am pretty tired." We all walked in and Bobby went to the kitchen for a bottle of whiskey, "How are you holding up?" "Not really sure, I know Sam had to do it but damn it I'm tired of saving the world! I just want for once the world to give us back something!" I put my hand on him, "It brought me back to you." He smiled at me and kissed my hand. "Are ya hungry?" "No thanks Bobby I think I wanna turn in." "Yeah ok, Dean I'm gonna miss him too." He just nodded and walked up stairs, "You coming?" "I'll be up in a minute." "It's a good thing you came back, he's gonna need ya!" "Yeah well no thanks to you!" He half smirks at me. "Yeah sorry about that. How did ya find us?" "You can't tell Dean but I went to Chucks." "Make sense, smart girl." "I'm gonna go to bed now, Bobby?" "Yeah?" "He's gonna be ok right?" He walks over and kisses my head, "Now that you're here I thinks he's got one hell of a chance." I smiled at him and went upstairs. I open the door and see Dean sitting on the bed facing the wall, I take my shoes and coat off crawl on the bed and put my arms around his bare tummy, he puts his hands on top of mine. "I promise no matter what I'm not gonna let you go through this alone." He just sighed. "I know losing Sam is the hardest thing..." He stops me and turns around, "Second hardest." "I don't under..." "When you left Nic I was lost, I didn't care about nothing or nobody, I would give my life to have been able to save Sam but I can live without him, I can't live without you." "Do you mean that?" "I know you hated me for always sacrificing myself for Sam. After you left I realized I can't do that all the time because sure I have Sam but I don't have you and that's what I really want. Don't get me wrong I'm gonna be a wreck for a long time over Sam but I will be ok in time." "I never hated you Dean, I just wanted a happily ever after with you and I was frustrated we could never have that." "We can now." I was confused, "Sam made me promise that if he didn't come back or get out I would find you and have a real life." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "You don't have to stop hunting I know how much you love..." "Stop. I love you more." "Are we really gonna do this?" "We gotta figure some stuff out but yeah." I didn't know what to say I was so in love and happy. "I love you Dean." "I love you back." He kissed me so softly, it was nice to feel those lips again. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and took off my shirt, I could feel him staring at me, "God you're beautiful." "Stop you're gonna make me blush." He smiled, we didn't have sex that night it just wasn't right. He laid down on the bed and I crawled in next to him, his skin touching mine felt so good after all this time.

The next morning when I woke up Dean wasn't in the bed,. I got dressed and went down stairs. I found Dean and Bobby sitting at the table having coffee. "Mornin darlin." "Morning Bobby." I smiled at him, "Coffee?" "No thanks, I'll make some tea." Dean was just staring down into his cup, "Morning Dean." "Morning." I knew how hard this was for him, I knew how badly he wanted his brother back. "So what do you kids have planned?" I looked at Dean, "Oh uh jeez I guess I hadn't thought about it, I mean if this was a normal day we would be looking for a case." I put my hand on the back of his head, "Hey, we don't have to stop hunting." "I promised Sam." He gets up from the table and goes up stairs. "Bobby can I ask you something?" "Sure kiddo." "Ok but if you think I'm being a selfish bitch please tell me." "That's not possible but sure." "All I've ever wanted was one day Dean and I getting married starting a family having a real life, but I didn't want that at Sams expense, even though this life is possible now I can't get excited because as many times as these two have died and come back I'm scared Sams gonna come back and we will be back to that place again. Is that horrible of me to say?" "That's a tough one, yes the boys have come back from a lot but this is hell honey and even if Sam did come back Dean would be a fool to leave that life with you to go back to a hunters life. So you two go live the life you want and don't worry about the rest of that crap." I smiled at him, "Thanks Bobby." "Just because you two are gettin out of this life doesn't mean you cut me out you hear!" "Of course not!" I walk upstairs to see Dean staring out the bedroom window, "You ok?" "Yeah." "So I'm leaving this up to you." He turns around, "Leaving what up to me?" "The next move, I'm here to follow your lead." He comes over to me and wraps me in his arms, "We are in this together no leading or following." "You take all the time you need to grieve for Sam then, you let me work out the details." He kisses the top of my head. We packed up what we had at Bobby's and before we left I handed him one of Bobby's darts, "What's this for?" I walk over and hold a map up on the wall, "You throw it and wherever it lands that's where we can start our new adventure." "Ok sounds like a plan." Before he threw it I crossed my fingers, "Please be somewhere warm!" He laughed, "Ok here goes nothing." He threw the dart and it was like slow motion, we watched it fly in the air, "I can't look you go!" I said, "Ok the lucky town is Lake Forrest, Illinois!" "Crap! Not warm but it's gonna be home." We loaded everything and hugged Bobby goodbye, "You two take care of each other!" I walked to the car and Bobby pulled Deans arm, "You give that girl the life she deserves!" "I will." He nodded at Dean. It was a pretty good drive, "You want some breakfast?" "I'm good to grab a donut if you are?" "Absolutely." Sitting in the front next to Dean was bittersweet, it was nice being close to him but I know this was Sams seat. We pulled over to get gas and I ran in to get some snacks, "Is that your boyfriend out there?" "Yeah." "Too bad!" "Excuse me?" "It's to bad you are shacking up with a Winchester!" All of a sudden his eyes went black, he came around me and put his hand on my throat, "Now I know you aren't dumb enough to kill me with Dean Winchester right outside!" "Shut up bitch he doesn't scare me!" "Oh no? What about me!" I stomped on his foot and punched him he grabs my hair an throws me into the chip stand, Dean hears the commotion and comes running in, he attacks the guy and I catch my breath long enough to start saying the exorcism but he smokes out, "You ok?" I get up slowly, "Aaahh yeah." "Here let me help you." He helps me up and we walk out, "Are they ever gonna stop coming for us?" "I don't know only time will tell." We get in the car and drive, after hours of driving and very few words spoken we arrived in Illinois, "Motel for the night?" "Yeah." "Do you want to get some food before we check in?" "Mmm hmm." I knew everything we did was going to be weird and need adjusting, even little things like two for dinner and one bed for our room, hopefully time will make it all better. After we ate we went to the motel and checked in, we walked into the room with one bed, "I thought one bed would be easier for you to see." "It's fine." I started to walk towards the bathroom and he grabbed my hand but didn't say anything so I touched his face, "Hey, I promise you this will get better." He exhales, "I know. I want to give you the life you've always wanted." "What about the life you want?" "I want you, that's the life I want. So wherever or whatever that is my life." I kissed him but knew he wasn't being honest with me. I came out of the bathroom and crawled into bed, "So what's the plan for tomorrow?" "Well I have the money my dad left, so we could put money down on an apartment." "No." "No?" "We are gonna find a little house with a white picket fence and a big yard, then we are gonna get one of those dogs that look like wolves you've always wanted." I laughed a little, "Ok then, house it is!" He pulled me into a kiss and it got deeper, he pulled me on top of him, he took off my shirt but then stopped, "I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry." "Don't think it's you. I just want my mind to be 100% on you..." "Shhh don't say any more. Ok?" He nodded. I went to my side of the bed, and he pulled me close to him. We fell asleep rather quickly. "Dean?! Dean baby wake up!!" I shook him, he woke up in a sweat and pale, "You ok?" He was breathing heavily, "I uh..." I wrapped him in a hug, "It's ok baby, I'm here." He slowly calmed down, "Sam." I felt so helpless, I knew he was hurting but the only thing I could do was listen and be there.