Something Old

Chapter 14

"Dean this is a bad idea." "What else can I do Nic?!" "I know you don't want to hear this but..." "Don't say it!" He gets mad and storms off. I'm not letting him get away that easy, "Dean stop!" He stops and turns around, "Do you remember what happen last time Sam died?" "This is different!" "How?! Because you're not selling your soul this time?!" "I can't just let him die!" "When are you going to stop sacrificing yourself and us for him?!" "Please don't say that, I have a chance to save him that has no affect on us and Nic if it was you I would..." I put my hands on his chest, "I know baby, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, but Sam said the last time you shouldn't have brought him back, and if this angel is actually being honest how is Sam gonna feel when he finds out you let an angel possess him." "I have to do something. I can't just let it happen." "I know I can't talk you out of this will you please find out from Cas if this Ezekiel guy can be trusted?" He kisses my forehead and goes to call Cas. I walk back to Sams room just looking at him through the window, I was so torn over my feelings about this. "So Cas said this guy is a good one." "You know how I feel but you do what you want." As I walk away down the hall I'm met with some pissed off Angels, "Nice surprise meeting you alone." They start to circle me, "Hey I can handle my own." "Oh you think so?!" "You wanna give me a try?" The male smirks, "Oh you have no idea." "Enough! Tell us where Winchester is." "Well I don't know but I could be lying so why don't you dicks just leave." "You are either awful brave or awful stupid." "Both." They both come at me and I fight them off for as long as I could, Dean hears the ruckus and comes running down the hall, "Hey why don't you pick on someone your own size!" They run towards him and work him over pretty good too. "You alright?" He reaches his hand out, "You alright?" He smiles, "What's the deal taking on two angels?" "I figured if I can take on a knight of hell.." "Yeah about that.." All of a sudden we see medical staff running into Sams room, we run down and we see Sam sitting up. Deans eyes light up and he hugs his brother, I stayed in the door way. "So doc how is he?" "I can't explain it but he is perfectly healthy." He nods and leaves the room. "What did he mean by he can't explain but I look healthy, what the hell happened?!" "Uh you were in a coma and weren't doing very good." Sam gets pissed. "I swear to god if you made a deal...!!!" "Relax Sam I didn't." Sam looks over at me, "He didn't." He calms and exhales. "So how long before I can get out?" "From my own experience with this kind of thing I'm going to say at least 24 hours but I'll go see what they say." I left the room. "She probably wishes I didn't come back." "Sam she doesn't feel that way, so what do you remember?" "Last thing is being at the church." "So nothing else?" "Why? What else is there?" "Nothing." "The nurse will be in shortly to let you know." "So what does it look like for time?" "The doctor said he still wants to keep him here over night." "Thanks." "Dean I'm fine I just want to go." Dean looks at me, "What do you think?" "Professionally I would say stay but it's not up to me." I leave the room again. "It's your call man." Sam takes out his ivy and his oxygen and we all leave. We got back to the bunker and I went straight to my room. "She ok?" "Yeah I think she's just tired. Are you tired or hungry?" "No actually I feel really great." "I'm gonna go check on her, if you need anything just come ask." Dean starts to walk down the hall, "Hey Dean." "Yeah?" "Thanks." Dean nods. I was about to get in the shower when he walked in, "You ok?" "I'm fine." I start to walk towards the bathroom when he grabs my hand. "Please don't lie to me." "I'm tired Dean." "Ok?" "I'm so crazy mad in love with you, when I'm away from you for even an hour i feel empty but I'm tired of this endless cycle." "Are you gonna leave me again?" I exhaled deeply, "That doesn't sound good." "I don't know what to do, I honestly thought that loving you was going to be enough but it's so hard accepting this as my life." "What do you want from me? What can I do?" I touch his cheek, "Oh baby, there is nothing that can change this life we lead. I stuck out this last year for one because I missed you so much when you were in purgatory and for two because I thought closing the gates was our out, our chance."

"I did too. I want it to be over but I can't just walk away." "I know, it's who you are. This is what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go away for awhile." He tilts his head, "So what does that mean exactly." I take his hands in mine, "It means I need some time, time to myself, time to figure out what I want once and for all." "So are we breaking up?" "Is that what you want?" "No. I don't want any of this. I don't want you to go." "I have too." "Where are you gonna go?" "I was thinking of someplace calm where I can clear my head." "Oh." "I'm not doing this to hurt you, but this limbo crap is enough and I can't deal with it any more." I get up on my tip toes and place my forehead to his, "This does not change how I feel about you, I just need to figure all this out." I kiss him softly. "How does this work? Can I call you? Text you? Have phone sex with you?" I smiled, "I will let you know I'm ok at least once a day and you do the same, but as for a full on conversation everyday no." "When are you leaving?" "I'm gonna go see if I can get a car tomorrow." "Wow. Tomorrow? Already." "I know it's soon but if I put it off I will never go." "That's just fine with me." "I'm gonna take a quick shower and then go look for a rental." I walk away. I get out of the shower put my big t-shirt on and head to the main room. Dean and Sam were both sitting at the table, which surprised me. It was like 1 in the morning so I figured Sam at least would be sleeping. "How come you guys are up?" "Doing some research." Dean didn't say anything. "Oh. Can I use your laptop Sam?" "Yeah. Sure." I was looking at a rental car place I found one where I can pick one up at 10:00 tomorrow morning. I reserved a little Toyota for a one way drop off in Florida. "Dean can you take me tomorrow morning?" "Where?" Sam asked, "Dean didn't tell you?" "Tell me what?" I looked at Dean, "I'm uh leaving for awhile." "What?" "Sam I really don't want to get into the details right now." I looked to Dean, "If you don't want to take..." "I will." He said somberly. "Thank you. I'm gonna go to bed now. Good night." "Dude, what's up?" "Nothing really, I mean she said she needs some time to figure if she wants to do this any more, a final goodbye or a final stay." "Wow, are you ok?" "No but what choice do I have." He gets up and comes into the room, I was putting some clothes into a bag. "Hey." "Hey." He walks over and looks in the bag, he pulls out a bathing suit, "I've never seen this before." "Never had an occasion to wear it." He sits on the bed, "I guess we never got to take that vacation I've always promised." I sit down on his lap, he wraps his arms around my waist. "I'm sorry this hurts you." "I know you are I just wish you didn't have to go." "I don't think this back and forth is fair to either one of us so I need this time." I finished up my bag and we laid down, "Gotta find a way to sleep without you again." "Me too."