Capturing Bella

Part one

September, 18th. A weary and sad day.
1.

"I always loved the way fall felt on my skin. Perhaps I'm weird for saying that. But fall in new York is insanely beautiful to me...these days our shoes have no grip. The walks to the bus stations were slow, the sky was always dim and gray. Its depressing ya know, especially with all these 'holidays' approaching. Why did i have to be a spring baby? It was like i was made for fall. I was made for this season"

The sound of me viciously twirling my spoon in my cold glass of coffee echoed through the uncomfortably large room.

I sat sideways staring out of the mullioned window. The last rays of the late afternoon sun fell slanting through Ernest's window.

"Everyday. Everyday, i try to get you to open up to me. And everytime i ask you about the past you turn to the window, and talk about the weather "

Mr.Ernests hunched over in his lounge chair, leaning closer to the fire, edging his hands towards the flames to warm them from the bitter evening. The light from the flame illuminated his tired, worn face, wrinkles boring deeply into his skin.His expression was of frustration and fatigue.

I furrowed my eyebrows before taking a sip out of my velvet colored mug.

"If you don't corporate you know where they're sending you right?"
He asked writing something in his book. I never studied him that much. I always look out the window and glanced at him every once in a while. But him saying this caught my attention, only briefly before i turned towards the window again.

"At least tell me why fall is depressing"

"I have no one to celebrate it with. I mean who would want to sit and have dinner with me? Who would want to buy me gifts? I wouldn't do it for someone like me." i slightly chuckled before twirling my spoon again. The sound placed me in a dull trance.

"Well your a wonderful person. You have a great personality. You just have flaws like everyone else.."

"Their cuts aren't as deep as mine. And besides your job is to tell me corny shit like that. It doesn't mean you actually mean it"

"I'm your therapist Bella. I'm here to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth."

"Mm"

I gathered my things quietly while glancing at the wooden clock. It was time for me to go. And although i didn't want to go home to my tiny apartment all by myself, i had to. Although i disliked these sessions it was nice being in someones presences for a little while. Having someone ask if your ok, even if they pretended like they cared but they really didn't. It was nice.

I glanced at him before silently walking out of the room. My heels clanking against the wooden floor.

A small smiled accompanied my face, once i found out i wasn't crying alone. It was raining in New York.