BEHIND CLOSED DOORS ( MAN*MAN)

Chapter 27. Rewritten

Stop thinking about others
Think about yourself,
Your happiness and do what you really want
Because those you think about
Will never fill that space inside of you
And they will never understand you
The way you understand yourself
No matter what.

*******

"Why do you want me"

Paul managed to pant out still catching his breath, he was still in that beautiful world that he didn't want to get out of when he heard Jimmy ask him to be his boyfriend. Paul doesn't get it, why would Jimmy want him to be his boyfriend? That was a very big step. Is the boy thinking straight? This wasn't right and they both know it. He doesn't regret sleeping with Jimmy today, he feels contented and happy and if given a chance he would do it again but he knows it was wrong.

All Paul wanted was to be selfish once again but it was wrong to use Jimmy for his sexual desire when he knows he can't give Jimmy what he wants. They have to move on with their lives. No more seeing each other, this was supposed to be like goodbye sex, he didn't expect Jimmy to blurt out such words. Paul won't deny it, he feels strongly about Jimmy but he has to put all those feelings aside and do the right thing.

He has to convince Jimmy that this isn't right. He needs to make him see what the truth is.

Jimmy shifts slowly looking at Paul softly. He caressed his cheek softly and brought his soft lips to Paul's as he kissed him sweetly. Paul was weak for this boy, he wanted to push him away but he just wanted to feel more of the boy. Call him selfish but Jimmy makes him feel alive. Paul could feel the boy starting to harden inside him, and he loved to fullness in his ass. He loves it when Jimmy fucks him. He dreams of this fullness almost every night. His ass clutches tightly wanting something inside. He was crazy about this cock. He loves it.

Jimmy pulled away when they both lost their breaths needing oxygen smiling at him. Jimmy slowly pulled out of him tied the condom threw it in the bin. Paul had to take deep breaths and purse his lips tightly, all he wanted was to tell Jimmy not to pull out. He needs him inside him forever. But shut his mouth as he watched Jimmy bring a small warm towel and start cleaning him with tenderness. Paul liked the boy's caring nature. At that age he knew how to take care of someone, Paul was amazed. He wanted this to last as long as Paul could have it. Jimmy sat crisscrossed on the bed after and gazed at Paul softly.

"I have never felt for anyone like this," Jimmy started softly eyes full of love. "I have never dated before," he swallowed hard "I never felt a need to date anyone. I have slept with many people, but no one has ever made me feel the things you make me feel Paul," Jimmy admitted and Paul could see how sincere he was "All I think about is you, I want to do things I have never dreamed of doing, I want to see you smile, I want to hold you when you cry, I want to listen to you when you're talking, I want to wake up next to you, I want to hold hands with you, I want to go on dates," Jimmy breathed out.

"Jimmy..." Paul gasped sitting up,  ignoring the pain in his lower back as he looked at Jimmy with wide eyes.

"I know it's ridiculous but that's how I feel?" Jimmy bit his lips. "I want you Paul more than you will ever know," damn, he was making Paul melt and at the same time scared.

"Jimmy you can't feel that way," Paul pulled on his fingers nervously. This was so deep. "You can't p..." Paul swallowed a lump in his throat looking down at his fingers.

"Why?"

"Jimmy listen," Paul pulled the covers over his exposed naked body looking at Jimmy with determined eyes. "You can't want that from me, as in I'm old and married and..."