The Fallen Invader

Chapter 6: The Market

I stared at the sandwich in front of me for the longest time. Zim stood beside me at the lunch table, awaiting my response, but I had no idea how to react.

"Why are you giving me this?" I asked.

"It is an offering of peace. Do you accept it? I assure you, there are no bologna meats on it."

I chuckled. "Zim, you don't need to give me food, just sit down."

He cocked his head, looking like a confused puppy.

"No, I don't think you understand. Surely you must want payment to be in my presence, yes?"

With that in mind, there was no way I could accept it without guilt. He thought he had to buy my friendship.

But on the other hand, the sandwich DID look pretty good, and I really didn't feel like choking down another serving of corn and mayonnaise. Plus, I couldn't help but notice the Irken insignia marked on the bread. How could I possibly pass up alien food?

"This is pathetic. Just take the sandwich, Dib." Gaz stated rolling her eyes.

"Okay, but let's not make this a regular thing." I said, taking the sandwich.

Zim finally sat down, looking pleased, as Gaz tried to hide her snickering.

"So, are you guys gonna make friendship bracelets, or..."

"EXCELLENT! Hmm, now, how do I create a bracelet that effectively harnesses the friendship juice?"

"You're not one for sarcasm, are you?" I asked with a chuckle.

In all honesty, I felt kinda sick after eating the sandwich. No idea what was in it, and I don't think I wanna know. But hey, Zim was trying, at least.

Emphasis on "trying." Unfortunately, when you come from a militaristic alien race bent on universal conquest, it's kind of hard to break out of that. There were many, MANY instances that day where I had to restrain him from attacking other students and teachers. He claimed that he needed someone else to use as a punching bag now that I'm off the table.

Clearly, this was a problem. There was no way I could justify continuing the friendship if he still wanted to hurt people. There had to be some sort of alternative outlet for him. Video games seemed to help satisfy his violent tendencies, but the spaceship game hit a little too close to home.

Then, I got a brilliant idea: a durable plushie that can take a beating whenever the need arises in Zim to attack. So I spent the weekend creating what I have decided to call the Torture Teddy.

Okay, fine, Gaz did most of the work, but I came up with the name!

It's really a morbid little thing. It screams, bleeds, vomits, all that stuff. I asked Gaz if it was really necessary for it to have bodily fluids. She told me Zim would probably get bored with beating up a regular teddy bear, though I think she just did it to gross me out. At the very least, she assured me it isn't sentient, and can't actually feel pain, so we wouldn't have to worry about it turning against us.

As soon as it was finished, I headed over to Zim's house to give him the bear. He must've seen me coming, though, because the door swung open before I could knock.

"Dib-thing! You will accompany ZIM to run some errands! What's with the bear?"

"Gaz and I made it for you. You can attack it instead of people. So, where are we going?" I asked as I handed him the bear.

"Oh, just to a space market so I can pick up more food that's actually edible, unlike the filthy, DISGUSTING Earth food!"

It took my brain a few seconds to process what he said, and then...

"Wait, space market? We're going to a space market!? YES!!!"

I may or may not have squealed like a girl.

Zim looked confused by my excitement. I guess to him, going to a space market is about as mundane as just shopping for groceries. But to me, it was awesome!

"Alright, alright. Some ground rules first. Firstly, don't draw too much attention to yourself. Your planet has gone largely unnoticed by most alien races, and for both our sakes it's best we keep it that way. Also, you must resist the urge to kidnap or dissect any market goers. They don't typically like that."

"Oh, come on, Zim. You didn't really think I was gonna kidnap some random alien, right?"

Okay, fine, the thought crossed my mind. But it's not like I was actually gonna do it! Now, if an evil alien that isn't Zim tried to destroy the Earth, then sure, but I at least have the decency to not abduct an unsuspecting civilian! Except for that one time... ah, forget it.

There were many things Zim hadn't accounted for that day. One of which being the fact that I had outgrown the Voot cruiser quite a bit. We were both still able to fit, the only thing was...

"No. A mighty Irken warrior would never!"

"It's not that big of a deal. But hey, if you'd rather I not come, I can go home."

Zim looked like he was on the verge of a tantrum. He gave the Torture Teddy a good strong punch in the face, an unrealistic amount of blood squirting out of the nose.

"Oh wow, that was satisfying." He commented. "Anyway, I SUPPOSE I could sit on your lap, but only because I can't have you being the superior friend. Clearly you want to go to this market, so I REFUSE to allow you to miss out! Now, get in the Voot! That's an order!"

I sat down in the ship's seat, with Zim plopping himself on top of me immediately after. He snickered. "Pathetic human chair."

And soon enough, we were blasting off into space. I couldn't help but be mesmerized at the surrounding stars twinkling in the distance. Even though I'd already gone into outer space a couple times before, I never got tired of it.

The flight was fairly short, considering the nearest market was outside of Earth's solar system. Only a couple hours.

"We'll be back at a decent time, right? My dad gets kind of paranoid."

"No need to worry, Dib-stink! I won't take too long!"

Apparently, Zim is incredibly indecisive, because we were there for five hours due to him constantly changing his mind. Not that I had a problem with being there longer, since it was really neat seeing all these different alien species in one place, and I ended up buying a few things for myself (Well, Zim paid for them, they don't accept "Earth monies.").

But of course, the longer we spent there, the more threatening texts I received from Gaz. Stuff along the lines of feeding me to sharks if I don't come home. Honestly, if there's a chance I can get cool robot arms like Dad, I am 100% okay with being fed to sharks.

No, I was more worried about the Irken soldiers passing through the market, herding various alien prisoners like cattle. Zim warned me ahead of time that we might see other Irkens, but he assured me it was highly unlikely we'd run into anyone he knows. As long as we kept a low profile, we'd be fine. I just had to slap my hand over his mouth a few times to stop him from screaming out "I AM ZIM!" like he usually does.

After we packed everything in the Voot, we were ready to go. I watched as the market planet shrank in the distance as we headed back home. "So, did you have the fun today?" Zim asked.

"Yeah, I did. You know, I'm impressed. You've come a long way from wanting to kill me."

"As have you, Dib. Heh, remember on my first day of skool, and you chased me all the way to my base with those sleep cuffs?"

I chuckled. Man, I was a dumb kid. "And remember that time you tried to send me to that room with a moose? You were such a jerk!"

"Ha ha, yes, I still am. And so are you." He elbowed me in the ribs.

"Ow! That actually hurt!" I said, laughing it off.

"Oh, I know, Dib. I know."