Chapter 18: Lifespan

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Moofy found out about Mip. It was only a matter of time, I just hoped it wouldn't happen so soon.

Zim took the blame for it, since he confirmed her suspicions by revealing himself and attacking her. While I wasn't happy about what he did, I couldn't blame him entirely. If I saw that kid trying to rip off Mip's PAK, I probably would've snapped too. Can't say I would've attacked her, but I would definitely scream at her. A lot.

I offered to let Mip stay home from skool the next day, or even drop out, but she was stubborn. She kept rambling on about how this was her battle or some nonsense like that. As mentioned before, she mainly learned to talk from stuff she heard on TV, so she has a tendency to be very dramatic.

That night after she came home from skool, we had a little celebration for Gaz's birthday. Er, more like "creation day," now that I know we weren't actually "born." Still don't know exactly how Dad made her.

Zim still didn't really get the concept of birthdays. Irkens don't keep track of their age since they live for so long. When I asked for an approximate estimate of Zim's age, his response was as follows:

"I dunno. A hundred-something?"

Initially, I thought it was really cool that Irkens lived that long, especially since Zim still seemed young and active. Then... cue the existential dread.

"Wow! That's amazing! Most humans don't live that long! We... oh..."

A series of questions flooded my mind. Zim would likely outlive me by a long shot, and Mip... I'd be long gone before she'd reach maturity. What would happen to them?

Zim seemed to have similar questions on his mind, though he took a more offended approach.

"I see. So you're leaving me too?" He asked, folding his arms.

"I don't want to! It's just... naturally, humans have a much shorter lifespan than Irkens. There isn't much I can do about it."

Zim proceeded to roll up my sleeve and start painfully squeezing my arm.

"Ow! Hey! What was that for?"

"You're right. Humans are quite fragile. But perhaps... with modifications... yes, yes, that could work!"

He began pacing back and forth, rambling to himself in Irken. I was equally intrigued and terrified.

"Uh, mind letting me in on whatever's happening?" I asked.

"INGENIOUS! Worry not, Dib, the solution to your problem is on the way!"

He started to run towards the front door.

"Wait! We didn't have cake yet!"

He came running back. Not even Zim could resist cake.

I hoped eating too much cake would put him into enough of a food coma that he'd slow down and explain what he was going on about, but instead, it made him even more hyper, and as soon as he finished, he ran out the door at top speed.

"What's his deal?" Gaz asked.

"No idea. I'd better go follow him." I replied.

After finishing my cake, I headed over to his base. I found him sitting on the couch, scribbling away on a piece of paper.

"Ah! Dib-human! Perfect timing!" He whipped out a tape measure and ran over to me, then started taking measurements of my upper back.

"Zim, you're kinda scaring me." I stated.

"Worry not! Fear will soon be a thing of the past for you!"

He returned to the couch and resumed writing. I sat down next to him to see what he was doing, and on the paper was a sketch of a PAK.

"You're... You're building me a PAK?"

"Yes! Isn't it wonderful? It will be difficult, and it may take a while to construct, but surely it will be worth it! After all, it will prolong your lifespan!"

I took the paper from him and looked over it, trying to process what I was seeing. It was almost impossible for me to speak, but finally, I forced words out.

"Zim... you can't do this..."

"Sure I can! I'm great at building things!" He replied, oblivious.

"No, what I mean is... you really shouldn't."

His smile faded, and he scooted away from me.

"Why not?" He asked in an accusatory tone.

There were a number of reasons "why not." No human has ever had a PAK before. Would it hurt? Would it change me? What if people started to notice a weird alien device sticking out of my back? And... would I outlive my family?

Of course, that selfish, childish part of me would have one installed in a heartbeat, but the rational part of me knew there were too many complications.

"I know you don't wanna lose me, but humans are different than Irkens. We don't have any idea what a PAK could do to me. And I couldn't leave behind Dad and Gaz like that."

"I can find a way to make it work! I'll make PAKs for them too!"

Thinking it over, Dad and Gaz would absolutely want PAKs. But I still had a number of concerns on the subject.

"I don't know, Zim. I'm gonna need time to think about this. Let's just not mention it to the others yet."

He seemed to accept that answer, though obviously, he wanted a "yes."

"Fine. Think about it. But don't take too long. I don't know how long I'll still... you'll still... ugh, you know what I mean! You know I'm bad with these 'emotions' you humans value so much!"

Deep down, the little guy really was worried about me. I couldn't blame him. I didn't want to lose him either. I just wasn't sure if introducing alien technology to my body was the solution.

Then again, that Irken implant he put in my heart to stop me from dying after he accidentally scratched me was working, and I didn't have any side effects from it. But that was still different. The implant was tiny and inside me. No one would ever know about it. A PAK would be big, and clunky, and on the outside.

I think what scared me the most was the idea that I could become dependent on my PAK like Irkens are. He explained to me before that it doesn't hurt to remove and reattach it at will, but if someone tries to take it by force, it's extremely painful. I couldn't imagine how much pain Mip was in when Moofy tried to rip her PAK out. Then, of course, there's the whole "you can only survive for ten minutes without it" thing.

As fascinated as I was with Irkens and aliens in general, I wasn't ready to lose my humanity.

My thoughts were interrupted by Zim's computer.

"Incoming transmission from Invader Skoodge."

We hadn't heard from Skoodge in a few days. He stopped calling us because he had no new information. That was about to change.

"Irken Zim and Human Dib, I have new information to report!"

"Well, don't leave us in suspense, what is it?" Zim asked.

"The ship the Tallest sent to Earth is set to land sometime this week."

Zim's antenna twitched in frustration. "And? Don't tell me that's all you know!"

"Uh... that's all I know?" Skoodge replied, guiltily.

A low growl escaped Zim's throat. I pushed him aside and smiled awkwardly. "Thanks anyway, Skoodge. We'd better hang up now before Zim breaks something."

The call ended, and I sent Zim to go beat up his Torture Teddy. I was anxious about the situation too, but I couldn't blame Skoodge for it. He was doing his best to help us, even though he wasn't supposed to.

Still, it was terrifying. We had next to no idea what we were up against. All we could do was be prepared to kick some alien butt.

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