Chapter 2: Facing reality

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Eleanor

I looked out the window still completely numb by what I saw. Rubble, debris and chaos.

Even though there was no signs that Oscar was alive, I still had hope. Hope that wouldn't shift regardless of the devastation I had seen.

I kept my gaze fixed on the world outside. I knew he was looking at me. He hasn't stopped looking at me since we left the home that was now a graveyard.

"Stop looking at me Brian".

"Not until you talk to me" he replied with a monotone voice.

"What the hell do you want me to say? Thank you for taking me? Or that I'm alright because I'm not. I've lost him haven't I?".

Brian grabbed my hand with his free hand and squeezed it tightly.

"I'm sorry Eleanor. I'm sorry".

Brian's words fell on deaf ears. I was torn. Part of me felt empty as if he was gone. But then the other half had a inextinguishable flame of hope urging me not to give up.

"We're home Eleanor. Let's go find Sofia".

Before I could ask why, Brian got out the car and grabbed the box from the backseat of his car.

"Do you need a hand?" he asked with his hand held out towards me like I was some upper class lady. 

"I'm pregnant Brian, not fragile".

Ignoring his gesture, I slowly stepped out of the car walking past him and headed straight for the guarded door.

I felt bad for snapping at Brian, but it was as if I was the only one grieving. Perhaps he had become numb. He lost his wife, his daughter and now his best friend. Maybe this was how he coped with grief. 

Either way, I did not appreciate it. I needed the man who helped search for me. I needed the Brian who would do anything for my family. 

Stepping through the opened door, I walked straight over to a sofa feeling a little dizzy and nauseated.

"Eleanor! Are you alright?".

Brian caught me as I wobbled and helped me down onto the sofa. 

"I'm fine" I lied like always.

With the lack of sleep, loss of appetite, I felt so ill. But I had to hide it for the sake of my children.

It wasn't intentional. I never want to hurt my baby, but how was I supposed to carry on without him. I couldn't do this. I couldn't.

"Eleanor, I'm getting you some food and then you're going to bed".

Brian grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around my shoulders. I watched silently as he carried the big box to the room where Sofia was sleeping in.

Following after him, I watched from the doorway as he gently woke up Sofia who's eyes were puffy and her skin patchy from constant crying. Nothing and no-one could console her.

"Baby, wake up. I have a surprise for you".

Brian stroked Sofia's hair delicately until her beautiful eyes opened up in surprise.

"I don't want a surprise. I just want my daddy" she whimpered before burying her face into her pillow.

"Well, I think someone misses you".

Brian opened up the box and pulled out Sofia's best friend.

"OREO!" she cried whilst taking him from out of Brian's arms.

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