𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓦𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓘𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼

'I just can't.'

Every week I get asked out by the same person.. and every week I say no. It's not because I don't like him — he's insanely good looking! It's just... I went through a really bad break up and I don't want to get hurt again. I'm just not ready to commit to someone who could decide he's had enough of me at any minute and break my heart all over again. I should probably mention that I'm autistic...

"Good morning, Y/N."
"Weasley."
"So... Hogsmeade?"
"You ask me the same question every week, and every week I say no."
"And every week you leave me confused as to why."
"I just can't."
"Owl me,"
"Nope."

I wandered off to my next lesson. Potions. My second favourite lesson, just behind muggle studies. This term we're studying muggle wars and the history behind them — it's actually a rather interesting subject. I'm highly intelligent, which most people think is because of my Aspergers, but really it's just because my mum pushes me to be my best. I was coming out of class, when I was stopped by Marcus Flint — my ex.

"Y'know Y/N, you're really asking me to pin you to that wall wearing that skirt."
"Excuse me?"
"What did you just say to her?"
"Leave it, Fred."
"Got yourself a new little boyfriend, have you?"
"Nope."
"Then what is he, your protector?"
"Kinda."
"You know, Pansy really is as good as she looks."
"You've never had sex with her."
"What?"
"You heard me. Little Marcus Flint, the only slytherin virgin."
"I am not a virgin!"
"You didn't have sex with anybody else! Hell nobody would ever kiss you til me."
"I'm not a virgin!"
"Oh yeah? With Freddie here..." I nodded to my side. "You look over at him and you can feel him undressing you with his eyes. It's quite perverted to be honest." Fred laughed at my side, as did George and Lee. "But you... oh-ho-ho. The one time you tried to take my bra off, you couldn't." I looked down at Pansy's legs. "Plus her knees."
"What do my knees have to do with it?"
"Seem unlike all of you children, I'm not a virgin and I know that you always end up with marks on your knees after you've had sex."
"I —"
"Ah ah ah, Pansy, your hair."
"What of it?"
"It's clearly been like that all day — if you had slept with him then you'd be missing a pin or even your bobble! You —" I pushed Marcus in the chest. "Are just happy to let everyone think you're a player."
"But I was your first boyfriend!"
"Doesn't mean I never hooked up with anyone."
"What the fu-"
"What? You think that because I'm autistic I'm immediately a virgin? Get it straight, pure blood." I winked before walking off to the black lake, which was my comfort place. My anxiety was through the roof. Confrontations really weren't my friends. I felt someone shift beside me, I looked — turning my head to see Fred.

"Hello."
"Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine soon enough."
"What's wrong?"
"I hate confrontation."
"Oh."
"It's scary."
"It was amazing."
"Really?" I sniffles, wiping away my tears.
"Would I lie to you?"
"Probably."
"Fair point."
"Hey Fred?"
"Yeah?"
"Why do you always ask me out?"
"You just seem... different to everyone else."
"You might be the only person who thinks that's a good thing."
"Different is the new normal."
"Aha."
"Why do you always say no?"
"I've only ever been in one relationship... as you can see that didn't end well."
"You're a virgin, aren't you?"
"Yeah..."
"Did you listen to when me and George were talking about it at breakfast?"
"Yeah... it was quite helpful to be fair."
"Glad you liked it." He chuckled, pushing me to the side. "I really like you Y/N."
"I don't know why."
"Your autism isn't you, Y/N. You're that one girl who yells at me when I prank the first years  but will help me on a potion anyway because you get annoyed when I do it wrong. You're that girl who probably looks in the mirror and doesn't see anybody for someone to be attracted to, but that's not what men see, Y/N. We see those little nose scrunches and the way you tuck your hair behind your ear when you concentrate — even the way you squint when you're trying to figure something out in charms. Your stubbornness — like that one time that George and I pranked you and you wouldn't let anybody help you up but us and you stood there by the couch for forty minutes until we apologised. Your exhaustion — when you stay up all night studying and won't go to sleep until you know everything you possibly can. We don't think about how much makeup they wear or how much skin they show or how affectionate they are... we — or I do at least — think solely about their personality."
"Do you even know how long I waited for somebody to say that to me?"
"Hah. No, no I don't."
"A really long time.." I blushed profoundly. "And I never thought it'd be you to say it to me!"
He lifted my chin, so that I was at his eye level. "I can be very romantic when I need to be."
"You know, butter beer sounds good."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!" He kissed me and I kissed back, then I heard wolf whistles from the other side of the field, breaking away from the kiss to see George and Angelina (who just happened to be my closest friend) cheering.
"Ignore them."
"Eh." I said, reigniting the kiss which I could tell made him smirk and made George cheer louder. "You're an idiot."
"But you gave me affection, though — so the rules state I'm yours."
"I'll deal with it."
"Yeah I thought so."
"Who said dealing with it wasn't breaking the rules."
"You would never."
"Oh wouldn't  I? Try me."