scars . . .

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a/n: this will be including self harm and blood, so if you aren't comfortable with this topic please avoid this oneshot and wait for a new one. If you are doing self harm, please talk to me. I care about you and you matter. 


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Another scar. I hated doing this, but I can't stop it. 

I watched the scar bleed, my head filled with thoughts I didn't enjoy thinking about. I put my blade back into where I kept it, Inside my diary where no one can find it. I couldn't stop staring at the new scar. 

I zoned out, my arm still stretched out in front of me.

I hadn't noticed Felix enter our room, he came from practice.

"Y/N..." Felix' voice sounded sad. My head snapped up, immediately hiding my arm behind me. His glossy eyes started to tear up, "Felix? What happened?" Felix hugged me. "Why would you do that to yourself?" His voice was raspy due to his crying. "How long were you standing there?" I asked him, finally realizing why he was crying.

"Y/N... Talk to me, please." 

My own eyes started to tear up as I nuzzled my head onto his neck. I took deep breathes before crying. Felix patted my back, saying words of encouragement and love. "Shh. Let it all out." I cried even harder, my tears temporarily marking his hoodie.

I stopped crying after awhile, my tears stopped flowing and my throat was dry. Felix patted my back one last time, "I'll get you some water, okay? While I do that, stay still." He said softly. I nodded at him.

Felix soon came back with a cup full of water, "Here." He gave me the cup of water and I gulped it. Felix stared at me as I finished the cup. I placed the empty cup on the bedside table next to me, "So, are you comfortable to talk to me about it?" I thought for a while.

Will he hate me?



No. surely he wouldn't. 


Right?


"I completely understand if you aren't, don't pressure yourself." He said and he held my hand.


"Well..." I went on about why I did it. 



"Y/N, I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me this. I promise you'll get over this." Felix said after I talked about it. He wrapped me in a warm cozy hug. "My scars show..." I silently said, He looked at me. "Babe, it's fine if they do." He paused for a second, "Because then, they can remind you of how brave and strong you are." 

Felix was right, when I do pass this they will become little reminders of how much I've been through. "Also." I tilted my head slightly "I'm permanently giving you my hoodie"

My eyes lit up. Felix' hoodies were my favourite. They reminded me of him and smelt like him too. "What if they loose their scent though-" I spoke, "Then I'll just wear them for a while so they can have my scent again" He hugged me tighter.



"I love you so much, Y/N. You matter so much to me."

  

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