Chasing Empty Spaces

Chapter 8

"Baby," Louis exhaled, pulling his mouth back when Harry's hand lowered towards his groin. He looked over Harry's face with confusion, "Baby, what're you doing?"

Unable to voice how he was feeling, Harry ducked down and kissed Louis' neck. He rocked his hips into Louis' and nipped at the wet skin.

"Harry," Louis admonished, pulling Harry back by his hair. He shook his head, "We can't do this here."

"But," Harry cut himself off, growing flustered and unreasonably upset. He cupped Louis' face and kissed him before pressing their foreheads together, "I need you." Harry kissed him again, "I really need you."

"Okay," Louis exhaled and nodded. He lightly pushed Harry back, "Let's go back to -"

"No," Harry desperately interrupted. He cupped his hands behind his neck, "I want you. Properly, want you. Now."

Louis looked pained, but he still sternly said, "We can't."

Harry narrowed his eyes and defensively crossed his arms, "You've already had sex with other people, am I like, not good enough or something?"

Louis snapped his mouth shut, eyes filling with worry rather than confusion.

"What's going on?"

Harry wiped a hand over his face and turned around, feeling irrational for every feeling that had been burning inside of him the past two hours. He stalked towards his bed and sat on the edge, eyes downcast. Louis hesitated for a moment before he stepped between his legs and crouched down.

"Harry," Louis splayed his hands over Harry's thighs. He lightly rubbed his thumbs in circles, "We gotta talk about this."

"Talk about how you pretty much just said you don't wanna have sex with me?" Harry bitterly scoffed. He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, no thanks."

"Fuck," Louis grunted and stood upright.

For a moment, blind panic rooted itself inside his chest as Louis walked towards the door. Louis flicked the lock of the door and then kicked off his shoes. Harry's shoulders sagged in relief when Louis climbed onto the bed and patted his thighs.

"I'm not about to have this kind of conversation with you and not hold you, okay?" Louis exasperatedly sighed and motioned for Harry to come closer.

Harry didn't falter as he crawled into Louis' lap and made himself small against the other man's chest. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's middle, his lips pressing a firm kiss to the left side of Harry's temple. He clenched his eyes shut and focused on the rhythmic thudding of Louis' heartbeat.

"You really think I don't want that with you?" Louis quietly asked.

Harry minutely shrugged.

"Christ," Louis exhaled and tightened his hold. "M' fuckin' crazy about you. Honestly, I've wanted you since the first night I met you," Louis earnestly murmured. He kissed Harry's temple again, "But, I'm not gonna do anythin' like that when you're clearly not okay. I care about you too much."

"I care about you, too," Harry muffled into the junction of Louis' neck.

Louis' posture slightly relaxed, "I know, baby."

A few minutes passed by in silence and Harry knew that Louis was waiting for him to speak first.

"My parents are never gonna know we're together," He dejectedly said, his voice sounding jagged. He pulled back and met Louis' gaze, "They're always gonna ask about girls and we're always gonna lie." Harry rested his hands on Louis' chest and shrugged, "And - It's stupid, but, I just want to be with you in my own home. Even if it was just in my room and only we knew."