Chasing Empty Spaces

Chapter 4

"Harry -"

"Just," Harry quietly interrupted, stepping past Louis. He sighed, "Just don't take me home."

Not waiting for Louis' response, Harry circled the hood of the truck and climbed into the passenger seat. His eyes were blankly staring at the dashboard, only vaguely aware of Louis getting into the driver's seat. Louis started the truck and hesitated a moment before he slid the key into the ignition.

****

Harry should have known that Louis would take them to the clearing.

The drive was filled with silence between the two men, the reverberation of singing crickets acting as the only filter for sound. Harry figured that neither of them knew what to say. A part of him was terrified of what would come out if he opened his mouth. Louis parked the truck and cleared his throat before facing Harry.

"Did ya wanna stay in the car or go to the dock?"

Harry barely shrugged.

"Harry," Louis' voice cracked on the second syllable.

The break pulled Harry's attention away from the dashboard for the first time since they left the lot. Louis looked utterly helpless and Harry couldn't help but to imagine that Louis probably mirrored his own expression.

"Can you say somethin'?"

Harry couldn't fathom why the most imperative question at the moment was, "Were ya gonna tell me if I didn't ask?"

Louis didn't seem to expect it either, his eyes widening and lips parting. He wiped a hand over his face and let out a faint huff.

"I don't know."

"That's not good enough."

Louis glared at him, "I don't owe you anythin', Harry."

"No," Harry agreed and petulantly added, "But, you should have trusted me."

Louis dropped his hand and looked at Harry with disbelief, "Try putting yourself in my position." He angled his body towards Harry, "You were sayin' offensive shit without even knowin' you were offending me. I mean, fuck," Louis panted, "I was scared. Still am, actually."

Harry mimicked Louis' position, "Cos you never told me!" He put his hand on his sternum, "How was I supposed to know you're a fr - Well, ya know, if you never told me?"

"That's exactly why!" Louis said on a laugh. He shook his head, "You were just about to call me a fuckin' fruit, weren't you?"

"No," Harry quickly denied, his ears tinging pink.

Louis snorted and folded his arms.

"Okay, I was," Harry admitted, earning himself an eye roll from Louis. He quickly added on, "I won't say that anymore, though."

Louis slightly turned to angle his face back towards Harry, doubt written over his profile.

"I," Harry scratched the back of his neck, "Um, I don't want you to be scared."

"Easy for you to say," Louis mumbled.

Harry frowned at his words, but didn't challenge the other man.

"When would you have told me?" Harry asked after a minute of silence. "Like," His eyebrows pinched together, "What woulda made you want to tell me?"

Louis lolled his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, his Adam's apple bobbing along his throat.

"If I thought you felt the same."

Harry swallowed the automatic protest of disgust that threatened to roll off of his tongue. He cleared his throat and turned to look at the clearing, finding it would be easier to talk if he didn't have to look at Louis. Everything about the situation had Harry feeling younger than his age and wildly out of depth.