Chasing Empty Spaces

Chapter 4

"I - I don't even know what you meant by it," Harry helplessly deflected. He shook his head and prayed that Louis' words wouldn't reflect the feelings that crept along the previously empty crevices of his heart. Harry feebly lifted his shoulders, "What did you mean?"

"No," Louis shook his head. He took a step back and pointed his index finger at Harry, "We're not gonna do this here."

Harry balled his hands into fists and clearly enunciated, "What did you mean?"

Louis' eyes shut and Harry watched as an exhale left his body. When he blinked them back open, there was a visible amount of dread that danced along his irises. He was defeated before he even verbalized his thoughts and Harry was terrified by the amount of weight his answer would hold for the both of them. Louis gripped the back of his own neck and minutely shrugged.

"Think you already know the answer to that, Stud."

Harry jerkily shook his head, "No." He took an uncertain step back, "No I don't." There was a clatter of noise behind them and Harry jumped at the reminder that they weren't truly alone, "You don't even know what you're talkin' about either." He kicked the toe of his shoe into the ground, "Meant nothing, right?"

"Harry, it -"

"Right?" Harry desperately cut Louis off, silently begging him to say that everything he was feeling between them wasn't anything other than platonic.

Louis let out a frustrated noise and clasped his hands behind his head. He started to walk towards the opposite end of the lot without looking back over his shoulder. Harry pleaded that the earth's surface would open up and swallow him whole as desperation drenched him.

"Y - You're a fuckin' coward!" Harry shouted after him, body trembling as he stared at Louis' back.

Louis froze in place, his spine visibly stiffening. The parking lot was silent and Harry knew that everyone lined up for the club was watching the scene unravel. Painstakingly slow, Louis looked over his shoulder towards Harry. The sheer amount of hurt that smeared his expression sent a bullet directly into the center of Harry's chest.

Harry had never hated himself more.

"Everythin' alright, son?"

He jumped at the voice that materialized by his side. A slinky middle-aged man was looking between them with narrowed eyes, his bony fingers leisurely swaying from Harry's frame to Louis'. Unbothered to answer, Louis dropped his gaze and turned away, fists in pockets as he trudged towards his truck.

"Um, yeah," Harry shakily said, eyes darting back to Louis as he wrenched the car door open.

The other man harrumphed something under his breath about young adults in the town before he stalked back to the queue. Harry wiped his running nose with the back of his hand as Louis peeled out of the parking lot in haste. He roughly kicked the side of his shoe into the packed dirt as Louis' taillights diminished into dust. Harry's quickened breaths morphed into pure hyperventilation once he was completely alone in the lot.

Harry rushed to his truck and yanked the door open with trembling fingers. He lunged into the driver's seat and haphazardly secured his seatbelt, missing the buckle on the first two attempts. The windows fogged with every harsh breath that heaved from his wet mouth.

"C'mon," Harry gritted to himself, fingers violently shaking as he tried to get a key into the ignition. They slipped from his hand and tumbled to the floor. He punched the steering wheel and choked out, "Fuck!"

Tears matted his eyelashes together, causing his sightline to distort into kaleidoscopic nothingness. With a helpless gasp, Harry slumped against the steering wheel and rested his forehead along the leather. The metallic sting of blood dripped onto his tongue and Harry released his bottom lip, unaware that he had been gnawing at it. His nails sunk into the tops of his thighs while he tried to keep himself together.