Chapter 6

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It ends up being two and a half weeks later before you see Kai again. But in the meantime, you text back and forth. You do have his number, after all.

Kai can't text a lot about the work he's doing -- that's protected by nondisclosure agreement. You've already seen them practice and have a hint of what their band name might be -- something related to TXT. But everything else has to be kept under wraps. All you're supposed to know is that he's working on something musical with his friends, and he's under a company in Korea.

So Kai talks about the other things that are a part of his life instead. He tells you about his dad, who is also a musician and has traveled all over the world. He was born in Hawaii and has also lived in China. In return, you tell him about your Aunt Mary and her blogging. That's super cool, he texts back one night. I've always thought about doing something like that.

You nod, but then realize that you can't see yourself doing the same. Traveling makes you nauseous. Even just being on the plane earlier in the summer made you question your entire existence, like the plane was going to fall out of the sky. You'd much rather like to stay still. Perhaps that is something you would want to do with your life? Maybe not just stay at home all of the time, that sounds boring, but finding a place where you could live and staying there instead of traveling.

"Okay, sweet pea," Aunt Mary calls over from the kitchen. "Who are you texting again?"

You put your phone down. "Nobody."

"Oh, I know that nobody and I can smell it anywhere! Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I don't know when someone's got a crush on someone else."

And you nearly drop your phone. You? Have a crush on Kai? No way! That doesn't make logical sense. Kai's in Los Angeles on a business trip. You are just some sweet pea working at a noodle shop. You're completely and utterly out of his league. There's no way that -- it just couldn't ever be possible.

Aunt Mary just laughs at you. "Silly, if you want to invite some boy or some girl or whomever over, just let me know. I just request no hanky panky unless you're safe. Want a cookie?" And you take the cookie and you munch on it for a bit and you ponder your entire existence.

The next day, Kai is back at Michi's, but he's alone this time. He's sitting at the counter, and Holt has already taken his order by the time you get in. "Ahh, sweet pea, there you are," he says with a smile.

"I don't get off until late tonight," you explain.

"That's okay. I'll eat, and then I'll come back. Is it okay if we walk the boardwalk together?"

You nod and get to work, running orders most of the day. A businessman comes in for three bowls of soup, which he finishes all on his own. Two teenage girls come in on their first date. An entire softball team enters and takes up a corner; Saya takes that table, but you help her with the meals as they come out.

"So you're going on a date tonight," Holt says as he passes by you, ramen in one hand, dumplings in the other.

"I am?"

"Yeah, with that kid who ordered the chirashi earlier."

"The what?" You're left wrapping your mind around what Holt said before you realize he said you were going on a date. With Kai. "I am not going on a date!" you yell, loud enough that the rest of the restaurant can hear. Now everybody is staring at you.

You feel like you want to crawl in a hole. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Holt nods at the restaurant, and everybody turns away, going back to their own business like it never happened. "I can just tell how nervous you are, that's all. Why are you so nervous? You like this boy, right?"

"I mean...that's the thing. It shouldn't matter. I'm here for the summer, and then I'm going home. And he's here for the summer, and he's going home. Why should I invest in something that won't last?" You realize you used the word invest. It makes you sound like your father.

"Ahh, but isn't that the beauty of it? Summer romance." Holt delivers the plates, then comes back. His next words come out of his mouth quickly, but you catch every one. "Sweet pea, if you spend all of your time worrying about the future, you're not gonna embrace what's going on now. You only live once. Trust me, I should know. Enjoy your date." And you're left wondering just what Holt might have gone through to make him say that.

But you work the rest of your shift, and at the end, Kai is waiting for you. You change into your pink sweater and follow him out. He's wearing a fluffy red hoodie and shorts, and his hair is all a mess. "Am I late?"

"Not at all." You both walk out of the restaurant and onto the Ocean Front Walk. The night is cloudy, but the boardwalk is still all lit up. People are coming and going on skateboards, bikes, and roller blades. Passersby wander around and look around in shops. Thankfully most of the kids are gone, but in their place are rowdy teenagers and adults drinking.

You turn to Kai. "Having a fun night?"

"Trying to." He shakes his head and laughs. "I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all. The pressure from being in class is getting to me."

You remember how you watched him dance. "Are you practicing?"

"Yeah, I am. It's just hard. Seems like every day, there's something I do wrong. I can't wait until I grow up and become the best dancer I can be. I'll be taller and everything! And I'll be so swift that nobody will be able to dance like me." Then, Kai grows quiet. "But I should also treasure the time I have as a fifteen year old. I'm never going to be fifteen again. So I guess I have to go through all these growing pains on my own."

You have the answer to your question. "You're fifteen?" Thankfully he is only a year or two younger than you.

"What, is that a bad thing?"

You shake your head. "No, not at all."

"Actually, I'll only be fifteen for another month. My sixteenth birthday is right before we fly back to Korea!"

"We'll have to celebrate it together, then!" And you find yourself blushing. Here you are again, assuming that you can just hang out with Kai when he's got an entire security team watching him.

You don't see the bike whizzing towards you until it's too late. Kai reaches over and grabs you, pulling him towards you, out of the way just in time. You take a moment to catch your breath and realize his arms are around you, his head on yours. "Are you okay? That bike almost hit you."

"Oh." You look, and sure enough, there it is, speeding away.

"You should be more careful." Kai pulls away, putting his hands on your shoulders. His hands are hidden in the sleeves, turning his fingers into sweater paws. "If you don't look where you're going, then you'll get lost."

"I know, I know, I..." Perhaps that's another clue. If you don't look where you're going, you'll get lost. Those who haven't figured out a plan for where they are going do certainly get lost. They are the ones who find jobs that aren't meant for them, or who get stuck in situations. You know that your family is well off, and they don't have to worry about their next bills, but still...

"Sweet pea?"

"Huh?"

"You're lost in your own head again."

"Oh, I suppose I am." You look down the boardwalk and notice a cotton candy stand. "Hey, do you want some?"

Kai's face lights up, and he squeals. "Wait -- the company will get mad at me if I eat something out of my dining plan. But...maybe if we share it, they won't care."

You laugh. "Okay." And you buy a bag of cotton candy and you sit on a bench, and you share it, and the two of you talk for what seems like hours. And when the night ends, when Kai is called back to the Magnificat, he gives you a hug. And you certainly walk at a normal speed back down the boardwalk to Michi's to pick up your bike, but you might as well be floating.

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