late nights and endless thoughts

she's hard to read

I watch and observe her.

she seems to be an open book but she isn't. she wants you to think that she doesn't have a care in the world, and that she has nothing hide, but that's not the case.

she seems to have it all together. she comes to school all dolled up and beautiful. she doesn't know who she is, so she goes overboard when trying to figure it out. she can't satisfy her mind, so she changes her exterior. she has a wall that pushed people away when they get too close. the wall that can sense pain from a mile away, and attempts to block if out, but gets sidetracked and allows it in.

I know that those must be something deep inside her that is broken; something that can probably never be fixed.

I want to know what it is and what caused it.

the reason I know these things, is that on days when she's feeling especially scarred, she let's something slip. she'll mention how she's sad or that she doesn't think she's a good person, or not good enough.

she seems to know a lot about sadness for a girl with such a gorgeous smile.