Draft version - Russian Roulette - Family secrets

Ch. 111: Where are you going?

"You want me to what?"

Jace sat in the bed supported by pillows feeling a little like Jabba the Hut, where Phoenix sat on a chair next to the bed like a servant helping him eat.

Not a situation he had wanted for them to live out every day.

They had been in their new home over a week. It was heaven to not be in a room which constantly smelled like a clinic and was decorated like a birthday party at McDonald's.

Mackenzie had done well with their rooms.

They all had.

Even Cloud had reined in her powers and helped make a home that fit his and Phoenix's tastes. She was the best in-law Jace could have ever wished for. It was like having a mother again, somebody who cared and loved unconditionally. Cloud covered a hole Jace had had in his life.

Her help was invaluable.

Mackenzie's too.

Jace loved the color scheme; the way Mackenzie had made it soft with the off-white walls and given it some masculinity with blues and darker tones of grey. He was happy there, though he would be happy anywhere with Phoenix...

Just not 24 fucking 7.

"Babe, I need to learn how to be alone, and you need to see more than these walls and my handicapped ass." Jace sighed at the face Phoenix had put up. Like a kicked puppy. His eyes were sad, and his mouth was practically quivering.

It was not Jace's intentions to hurt Phoenix, he just wanted more for Phoenix than being reduced to his personal nursemaid; not for Phoenix to feel unappreciated. Phoenix was a wonderful man, with a life, job and interests, he needed to be the Phoenix Jace loved. The one who had fascinated Jace and made him want to know more about him.

The one who was independent and raw in his way of living.

With all the time Phoenix had devoted to Jace's care he deserved to go see a movie, eat at a proper table with some friends or just go to the gym or the mall.

Or home.

Phoenix had not slept in his own bed for over a month and a half.

They needed to become what they had been before, free, independent individuals who wanted to share their time. It was not supposed to be that unequally balanced. Though Jace would never be able to thank Phoenix enough for everything he had done, he wanted a real relationship, one where he contributed too.

Giving Phoenix space to be himself was part of that. It was what Jace could do to maybe get Phoenix to get in contact with the man he used to be.

"I'm not asking you to move out, I'm asking you to do something for you. I'm sure there's a sandbag at the gym just calling for you to show it how badass you are at kickboxing?" Jace smiled. "Or some papers and shit Gareth need you to go through. Phoenix, I can be alone for an hour or two."

Phoenix sat there not sure what he should do. Jace had directly asked him to go away.

He felt completely deflated and unneeded.

Out of sheer reflex he picked up some hash brown Jace dropped from his fork while eating. Jace was getting a lot better at it, sometimes his muscles spasmed a little and he dropped things, it had become a habit for Phoenix to just pick up whatever he dropped. Wipe his chin if drinking went wrong, find clean shirts if it had gone totally downhill.

Everything had become routine.

No matter how tedious, it was a labor of love.

Everything he had done to make it easier for Jace and now he had been sent packing?