Unravel

38. Black

Sammy

It's been two weeks since Rohan arrived at our school as a transfer student and It's been two weeks since I found that I actually love Motu, like love love, and it's been two weeks since I lost her.

It felt like I have lost her all over again. I even thought that it would have been better if I hadn't find her again in the first place, at least I had a assurity that wherever she is, she still misses me and considers me her best friend. I know I am being selfish but I can't help it.

My hatred towards Rohan grown to the unimaginable level.

And the cheery on the top was, he is Benjamin's cousin.

Her situation with her brothers wasn't any better either. She was already distant with Alex and now she has grown distant with Dean and Ed as well. Things were going well with her brothers for once and Rohan ruined it all.

She is with Rohan all the time when she is in school, and most of the time when she's not in the school. Ed told me that Millie is rarely home and spends most of her time at Rohan's place. Ed and Dean both of them are very concerned about Mahi. When they tried confronting her about her behavior she said, "I don't think you have any right to tell me what to do. You left me without thinking once about what would happen to me so why now? So I believe you should shut the fuck up and mind your own business." I still can't believe she said something like that. They tried to get Alex to talk to her but he's rarely home and so is she which makes it difficult. When they used to call her, she would never pick up. After confronting her about this, she slammed her phone saying she doesn't need it.

At first I thought Rohan was pressurizing her but that thought left my mind when she shoved those hurtful words to my face. "I hated your guts. I stopped considering you my friend the day you left me alone. I hated you and I still do. I hope you have answers to all of your questions because I don't want to be bothered by you in the future." I wouldn't have believed but the hatred I saw in her eyes made me believe.

Is it really true?

Am I the reason of her hatred?

Was she right?

I won't be exaggerating if every time she comes across me and ignores me like I'm not there sends daggers through my hearts. I stopped making efforts to make things better a few days ago, after a few hurtful comments, a lot of humiliation and a beating.

Whatever it was, Mahi was certainly the last person I expected to behave in this way.

I started believing her words. Why would she wanna be with me when I left her while Rohan stood with her in her ups and downs? I hate to admit it but maybe Mahi does need Rohan in her life.

It would have been a lot more better if she hadn't found her. She wouldn't had to pretend to like me. It's better if I just walk out of her life.

Yeah. I won't bother her ever again.

And I did it. I stopped talking to her. I stopped taking glances at her. I started behaving like she isn't around. Like she does. The only difference is it hurts me to do so but if Mahi feels happy then I can do anything. Today, Mahi came to school with Rohan wearing his shirt. Ed told me she spent night at his place. She walked past me without acknowledging me and staring at her shoes, hands joined in front of her. Like always. In classes she had with him, both of them sat together in the back. He would have one arm wrapped around her always. In the classes without Rohan she would sit alone, head buried in her books. If someone tries to talk to her, she would bury her head more. At lunch, she would sit with his boyfriend, Benjamin and his friends, often on Rohan's lap.

She has changed completely since his arrival.

One more significant change I noticed in her was Her hair was always open. Always. Whereas she would never let them down before.

Seeing her with Rohan was difficult and it was certainly difficult when she is sitting right in front of you on the lap of tge person you despise the most. I tried hard not to look at them and concentrate on my boring sandwich.

I miss the sandwich she makes.

Concentrate Sammy. Concentrate.

Yes I can do this. She's just a normal girl sitting on her boyfriend's lap.

I took a breath and opened my eyes and at the sight, my mind said Fuck this. You can't do this. Both of them were kissing passionately, Rohan's hand was gripping a handful of her hair and I couldn't see her because her back was facing me.

I can't see this.

Seeing the person you love kissing someone else like this takes a lot of courage.

And I don't have that kind of courage in me.

So, I furiously slammed my fist on the table and walked away. My mind was not working. I walked to the washroom without bothering about the long line and went inside. Sitting on the toilet, I took out the razor from my pocket. I stared at it for a few seconds. I named that razor Motu. Because it has been my bestest friend since Mahi left. It was the only thing that helped me to cope up with my emotions.

I sighed deeply, rolled my sleeves up and made two deep cuts on my wrist, just below the ones I made last night. I raised my head and closed my eyes enjoying the intoxication I felt. Once I felt somewhat normal, I attempted to stand

And everything went black.