Total Darkness

seriously?

"Addie..?" I hear a familiar voice say softely at my door. I've been laying in my bed for 3 days. I leave my bed only to use the bathroom and then force myself to walk back when crawling seems so much easier. " Go away.. please.." I say hearing my voice crack as tears start to form in my eyes for what seems like the billionth time.

" Ad.. you cant push everyon-" Myles starts to say but I sit up and he stops talking. My eyes are puffy and red from crying. My hair is in the messiest bun possible and not the cute kind that everyone but me can do. I look like absolute shit but I don't care at this point. My chest aches as I think about Riley and how shes.. dead.

My body shutters as I think the word. Nausea waves through me and I try to calm myself so I don't get sick again. Myles stands in the door way " Ad lets talk, we can talk about anything you want but you have to try" he says softly. I just stare at him and he walks into my bedroom coming to sit on the edge of my bed. " i am fine you dont need to stay" I say finally after a long period of silence.

" So you do know how to talk still?" Myles says with a small smile. I can't help but let a small smile peak on my lips. " Did my dad tell you to come here and talk to me" I ask him all hint of my smile gone from my face. " No Ad I came here because I wanted to see you.. To see if-" I cut him off putting my hand up. " To what ? To see if Im OK?" I finish for him.

" Why in anyones right fucking mind would i be OK?" I say angrily my voice rising quickly. " I'm sorry.." Myles says his voice slowly trailing off. I start to feel bad because I know hes just trying to help.

        "No.. no. Myles its okay.. I'm sorry" I say moving over to the edge of my bed to sit beside him. " I've been so caught up in how I'm feeling I haven't even asked you how you are" I say to Myles. She was his friend too.. He looks down at me and shrugs his shoulders lightly. " I'm doing the best I can ya know?" he says to me. I nod looking down at the floor.

It seems like everyones taking this alot better than I am. I knew Riley better than anyone. We did everything together. Now my bestfriend was gone. If anyone expected me to be okay after this.. they were just as insane as whoever did this to her. I lean my head onto Myles shoulder. " I miss her so much.." I say and I start to cry again lifting my head off him and putting it into my hands.

My body shakes as the uncontrollable sobs wrack through my body. I feel Myles wrap his arms around me hugging me tightly. " I know Ad.. I know you do. I am so sorry youre going through this." he says softly. I pull myself from his arms and look at him a weak smile on my lips. " Thanks for checking in on me" I say looking back down at my lap.

Myles takes my chin into he hand and pulls my face up to look at him. Before I can say or do anything Myles leans into me his lips connecting with mine. Shocked I try to pull my head back away from him but he uses his other hand to hold my face against his, his fingers wrapping into the hair on the back of my head. I push against his chest but he continues kissing me more forcefully.

I do the only thing logical in my mind and I kiss him back bringing his bottom lip into my mouth and I bite down hard. It works and Myles pulls away a shout of pain escaping his lips. I see a drop of blood appear on his lip. Anger courses through my body, how could he.

Myles stands there quietly bringing his hand to his lip and then looking at the blood on his finger. He shakes his head softly. " Ad.. what the fuck" he says sadly. " What?" I say shocked that hed say that like it was ME who did anything wrong here.

            Myles moves towards me anger flashes through his face. " You need to leave Myles. Right now" I say my voice shaking slightly. "Addie i don't understand what the fuck your issue is. For fucking years now you just havent gotten the hint." He says angrily at me. "My bestfriend was just fucking murdered and youre using it to try and get in my fucking pants?" I scream at him.

" Its not like that Addie I swear" he says but I don't want to hear anymore. " GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT" I start to scream over and over again. Myles looks at me shocked. "Suddenly my bedroom door flys open. Derick rushes in taking in the scene in front of him. Myles backs up quickly. " Who the fuck are you?" he says angrily. " What the fucks going on in here?" Derick says looking at me.

"Ad are you okay? I heard yelling from outside he says his eyes moving to Myles. " Shes fine we got into an arguement and she started yelling I was trying to calm her down" myles says his eyes moving to me a glare in them id never seen before. " I don't remember asking you" derick says looking at Myles. What happened next shocked me, Myles tackled Derick to the floor.

" You can try to fight me or you can run I already called the police" Derick says easily rolling Myles off him and pinning him down to the floor. Myles starts to push derick off him trying to get away from him hearing the word police. Derick lets him up and we watch as Myles glares at me hate in his eyes and runs out the door and down the stairs.

I stand up and run over to Derick and hug him the tears I held back through the entire thing explode from me and I cry for what seems like an eternity. Derick hugs me back and lets me cry. I move away from him after a few minutes and I curl up in a ball on my bed. The police still haven't shown up " I say softly.

Derick moves to my desk pulling the chair out and sitting down in it. " Thats because I didn't call them" he says. I sit up and look at him confused. " I didn't call because I recognized his voice from the bus and I didn't know what was happening. I just wanted to help you" he says with an apologetic look on his face. I nod kind of relieved that the police werent coming.

" wait why were you here?" I say looking up at him. " It's been 3 days.. and i hadnt heard from you or anything and I don't have your number so I walked here to check on you and I could hear shouting so I just ran in" he replied. I could tell from his voice that he was being honest.

                     " I appreciate you coming to check on me." I say to him with a small smile. " How are you holding up..?" I ask him looking down at my comforter on my bed. " I'm doing ok.. Just a bad dream here and there" he says looking to the floor. " Ive been more worried about you than me though Addie.. I know she was your bestfriend" he says softly.

" Yeah.. I've not been doing well at all" I say finally. That's the first time ive said it out loud, that im not okay. "You can talk to me if you need too" Derick replies too me. " I just cant get the image of her like that out of my head.." I say tears forming in my eyes. " I want to remember her the way I knew her, happy.. beautiful.. smiling.. I just cant understand why someone could do something like that to her."

The words pour out of me all at once. " I didn't know her but everyone at school has been saying nothing but good things about her.. Theyre all so sad shes gone" Derick tells me. " You went back to school already?" I ask him. " Yeah, I have to make up days I missed in the move and my parents will kill me if I stay back a grade" He tells me. I ask him about what

I've missed at school the past few days and Derick starts to tell me stories about the teachers that I missed while being home. Soon enough he and I are laughing and joking about how the science teacher fell asleep through his educational movie and fell from his chair. I hear the front door downstairs open and close and i look at my clock. It eight pm already my dads home.

I hear him coming up the stairs and I see Derick look at me worried. I shrug not sure how my dad will react to him being here in my room but its too late now. My dad knocks on the door before opening it. " Ad-" he says taking looking into my room to see me on my bed and Derick in my desk chair. " Hello Derick.. Addie.." he says in a calm voice.

" Hi dad.. I- I'm sorry I should have asked if I could have someone over.." I say in a hurry.  my dad puts his hand up to stop me. " Addie you havent turned your phone on, spoken, or left your room in days. Im not mad at all I am just glad someone could get you to talk and smile.." My dad says softly as he walks over and kisses me on the cheek.

He turns to Derick and says " thank you, youre welcome here anytime.. but stay OFF my daughters bed" he says and turns to walk out of the room. My cheeks burn bright red and I roll my eyes.

" yes sir" Derick says with a small chuckle. " Dinner will be ready in 45 minutes, Derick you'll be joining us I assume?" my dad says closing the door not actually giving Derick and option. Derick shrugs his shoulders, " I hope hes a better cook than my mom" he says laughing. I join his laughter and we talk till dinner time.