𝔽𝔸𝕃𝕃 || Brightwin

I.

Being in love was a sickness and a cure: It would cause symptoms like sweating palms, fluttering stomachs and racing pulses then soothe it with soft smiles, secret looks and silent exclamations.

Unrequited love, however, was like death. A heavy omen carried like a rock, dragged with every step. Another stone for every thought of them, another mile for every hope. It drove one mad or fatigued them into a depressive state.

•••••

Eyes shaped like two crescent moons, smile brighter than any other. Even his laughter made Bright cheer up, the slightest eye contact seemed to uplift his mood.

If only Win would swim in the ocean of feelings stored in a corner of Bright's heart.

"We did a great job today, didn't we, Phi Bright?" Win is beaming at him with that blinding smile of his again.

Phi Bai.

"Sure did." Bright can't help the smile that tugs at his lips but he knows it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"You don't sound like your usual self," Win's voice is etched with worry, eyebrows knitted together, his eyes holding questions that he's too hesitant to voice so he tries with a small "Is everything okay?"

Well, it's not like Bright can casually say 'Hey, my mind has been occupied by the thoughts of you. Your gorgeous smile that seems to be the only bright thing in my days, your soft voice, or the way you move, or how your cheeks go puffy and glowing when you smile or the sound of your laughter.' No way.

"I'm alright. Just.. a little tired but don't worry too much, I'll sleep it away." Bright's hand itches to reach out and ruffle Win's hair like he used to when he was playing Sarawat and Win, Tine.

It was the only time Bright could openly project his imaginations into actions. Touch him the way Bright has always wanted and say all the words he can never actually have the balls to say.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, Phi, right?" Win is wearing a smile that hold the universe together. Perhaps Bright's universe.

"Big talk for a kid, eh?" Bright teases lightly just like he always does and Win complains but there is hint of smile at the corner of his lips.

"Oh c'mon! You know how much I hate it when you call me that." Win exclaims with a roll of his eyes but a smile breaks out on his lips eventually.

Bright's heart is a hummingbird set free.

But at the same time..

His insides claws at his heart to stop beating faster than ever just at the glance of the beautiful boy. His knotted guts urging him to spill out the words that are swimming in his brain, bottled up for way too long now. His mind, body and soul screaming at him to hold the boy close and never let go and fuck, Bright wants to love him like no one else has.

But it's impossible...

Because Bright already loves Win like no one has, ever before.

Two months ago..

If there was ever any indication that one could experience hell on earth, then this must be the closest to it.

This, right here, right now, was pure torture.

To have to pretend, which Bright was admittedly good at doing given that he's an actor, that he was completely alright, unfazed.

There is something ugly churning in Bright's stomach as he watches men and women flock around Win. Fawning, complimenting, flirting.