Golden Leaves

All I Do Is Wear Cool Outfits, Tell Jokes, and Hide My Depression

I had been stabbed, shot, choked, and beaten. Every bone in my body had been broken more than once, hell, I grew up in the damned apocalypse. I had felt every pain known to man, but nothing hurt as badly as goodbye. I knew I would have to say goodbye to Evelyn, we would have to leave 1963 eventually, but nothing prepared me for the pain goodbye brought.

After a while, the pain turned into numbness. When emotions run so strong and so high, to where your very bones ache with the pain, eventually your body just shuts down. You become numb. I sat on the stairs leading up to the hotel as my entire body shut down. I wasn't even sure if Five was still upstairs, I could easily be waiting for no one but I couldn't bring myself to move. All I could do was sit there, my knees pulled to my chest and my head sunk low between them. My eyes were locked on a tree, watching as the leaves moved ever so gently with the wind. I watched the leaves blow and wondered why I couldn't feel the wind that moved them.

"Clove?"

I turned ever so slightly in order to see Five slowly walking down the stairs towards me. I saw him in my peripherals, through the curtain of hair I was glad covered my face. By the time he sat down next to me, I was gazing at the tree once again, "I was worried you left."

"I wouldn't leave without you," Five's voice was soft and I didn't have to look to know his eyebrows were furrowed as they always were when he was worried, "What's wrong?"

It was difficult to find the strength to reply. I felt like my entire body had shut down, starting with my emotions. All I felt was nothing, nothing at all, and oddly that was scarier than feeling everything all at once.

"Clove, what happened?" Five gently grabbed my hand.

His touch brought me back down to Earth. I dropped my knees and looked at him. All of my emotions came surging back as my chest began to ache. Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and, one by one, began to trace tiny streams down my cheeks.

Five had his arms open before I fell into them. His arms wrapped around me and the whole world vanished. I felt safe once again, like nothing could get to me. I was safe to cry and I let it all out. Burying my face in his chest, I squeezed my eyes shut and shuddered as tears made dark circles on his sweater vest.

"Are we cursed?" I sniffled.

Five rubbed my back, "Cursed? What do you mean cursed?"

"Everyone always leaves," I sniffled, "They die or they leave. Are we cursed?"

"I don't know," Five squeezed me tightly, "Maybe- maybe we're just unlucky."

I clenched my eyes even tighter as a large lump blocked my throat. Five held me as I shook out my tears, releasing tiny gasps as I did. When I got my breath back, Five asked, "What happened?"

"They found Evelyn," I muttered, "They found her, they beat her, they kidnapped her, and they nearly killed her all because of me. It's my fault."

"I'm going to kill them."

"First she lost her bookstore, then she nearly lost her life. I-I couldn't put her through more, I made her promise to leave."

Five pulled my hair out of my face as I continued through my tears, "She's gone and I'm never going to see her again."

For a few minutes, Five didn't respond. He just held me as I worked through my grief. I choked through tears, my body quaking the entire time. His sweater vest had soaked through by the time I finally caught my breath.

"It isn't your fault, Clove," Five whispered, "We didn't ask to be born. None of us asked for this, we were born unfortunate."

"It's not fair."