The Illusion of Us

Chapter 31

It was hard for Khalil to regret his night with Mina.

On one hand he felt guilty, as if he were still using her for his own selfish desires, but on the other hand it was almost impossible for him to feel guilty about something that felt so good.

He was completely conflicted, but he couldn't pretend that last night hadn't been the best of his life.

Maybe Mina would thank him after all of this was over, she was always complaining about how her parents neglected to treat her like an actual human being, maybe nothing would have to change.

Khalil knew it was wishful thinking, but he still couldn't stop the thoughts from plaguing his mind and the only thing that kept his spirits alive was the fact that it was all almost over.

"Hi!" Mina's soft voice saved him from drowning in his own spiraling thoughts and he quickly plastered what he hoped was a small believable smile across his face.

She mimicked him, her eyes fluttering closed as she leaned in and placed a soft short kiss on his lips.

"Hey?" She pulled back questioningly, and Khalil hoped she hadn't noticed the guilt written across his features. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, ignoring the strange stares and glares she received. "Are you ok?" She asked in concern.

"No, no I'm not ok," was what was on the tip of his tongue, but the words "I'm fine," were what met the air instead. He pursed his lips tightly together and, as if for extra reassurance, he bent down and returned her soft kiss, which she accepted without protestations.

"Good." She said satisfied, dropping her hands from his neck, her glance falling to the pristine tiles beneath them in hesitation. "I thought you were mad at me."

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on Khalil.

"Of course not!" He exclaimed, interlacing his fingers in Mina's. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because of last night."

"Last night?" Khalil echoed, before his brows rose in realization, and Mina confirmed his thoughts.

"Well I-I didn't like-" She stuttered. "I didn't like force you into anything, right? I didn't make you do anything you didn't want to, did I?"

It took a moment for Khalil to realize that she was being serious.

She was being serious, and that only made Khalil cringe more. He should be the one ashamed. He should be the one making sure she was ok, not the other way around.

"No. No. No" He couldn't get the words out fast enough, repeating them over and over again until they were tripping over each other as they fell from his lips. "Mina I- I didn't do anything that I hadn't wanted to last night, ok?" He tugged on her hands, pulling her closer as he studied her eyes as if he were seeing them for the first time. "Ok?" He repeated, more harshly, this time.

"Ok." Her voice was delicate compared to his. "Hey Khalil?"

"Mhm?" He hummed.

"About- about last night" Her eyes had fallen to the tiles again and Khalil grew anxious of the words that would fall from her lips next. "Did you-did you think- like-" she broke off flustered, a gigantic sigh escaping her parted lips. Khalil squeezed her hands tighter in his, urging her to go on.

"It wasn't- it wasn't like- bad- or anything, was it?" As headstrong and optimistic as the girl in front of him tried to appear, she seemed to be more-self conscious than anyone he had ever met, though she had absolutely no reason to be. She was a people-pleaser. She wanted to please her best friend, her boyfriend, and her parents. She tried so hard to be perfect for everyone around her that she lost herself in the process.

He didn't just need Mina, Mina needed him.

Khalil hadn't meant to, but he laughed despite himself, and Mina's eyes came rushing back up to meet his in mere seconds, a confused expression written across her face.

"You're adorable." He watched her go from confusion to understanding and finally amusement all in the span of three seconds, and he didn't have time to think before she was pushing her lips hard against his for the second time, her face warm with a blush.

"Hey?" She asked quizzically, pulling backwards. "Do you think I could come home with you today? I don't really feel like being around my parents right now." Her eyes were expectant after all, what reason could possibly have had to deny her request?

"Of course you can!" Khalil permitted, hoping his voice didn't mimic his unsteady heartbeat. The last time Mina had come over, Sahil had ended up dead so to say that Khalil was hesitant to invite her back over was an understatement. However, not inviting her over would look extremely suspicious, as would suggesting they meet elsewhere, so instead Khalil mimicked his earlier sentiment, nodding once more as he smiled, "Of course."