Chapter 6
(1 week later )
Rachel's pov :
Today is my first day back at school and I'm so scared . I never felt so alone before , I didn't have Jessie anymore , I don't really have any friends , Sam and Finn do their own thing and I'm just here alone . I used to be in the glee club but when Jessie and I first started dating he convinced me I wasn't talented enough to win nationals and so I dropped out and started spending more time with him . I hated who he made me out to be , I was always the bad guy in our relationship . I couldn't do or say anything right for him , he convinced me I was a burden on the world . I walked into school , anxious and feeling like my stomach was about ready to fall out of my ass . I never use to be this nervous to go to school , I loved school , I loved going to glee club , I loved hanging out with Kurt and Mercedes no matter how annoying they said I was , I missed my friends , I missed my old life . I got to my locker and I opened it to see all the photos of me and Jessie . I could feel the anger and tears coming so I took the photos of us and I to them to shreds and then threw them in the trash . Why was I so angry ? Was it all at Jessie or was I angry at myself for letting a boy control me . I shut my locker and went to the bathroom to wash my face . When I got to the bathroom I went into the stall and silently sobbed . I used to cry every night when I was with Jessie and now that we aren't together I'm still crying , here came the anger again , I took a deep breath and wiped my tears . I exited the stall , washed my face , put on some makeup and went to class .
Finns pov:
I went to school hoping I would run into Rachel so I could talk to her . I haven't seen her since she punched her mirror and I had to fix her hand up . I know she's not my responsibility but I care about her .... as a friend . I want her to be happy and I want her to feel safe . I went to my locker to see my head cheerio girlfriend , Quinn Fabray .
"Hey sexy." She said and gave me a kiss
"Hey beautiful, how are you ?" I asked her
"Great now that my hot boyfriend is here." She said and kissed me again .
"Woah what's up with you ?" I asked confused
"Nothing it's just really sexy to know my boyfriend is a hero." She said
"Hero?" I said confused
"You saved Sam's step troll or whatever she is ." She said rudely
"Oh Rachel ?" I said
"Yeah her..." and she rolled her eyes
"Have you seen her?" I asked concerned
"Not yet . Who knows she probably had a breakdown in the cafeteria or something" She said buffing her polished nails .
I rolled my eyes . Quinn and Rachel use to get along and then when Quinn got popular she left Rachel for Santana and Brittney .
"I gotta go babe ." And I left to go to class.
Rachel's Pov:
I walked into class doing my best to just try to get through this day. I sat down and then over the P.A Principle Figgin's said ,
"Rachel Berry , please report to Ms.Pillsbury's office . Also whoever is putting my desk appliances in jello please stop , jello is for eating not my stapler ."
The class laughed and the jocks in back high fived as I went to Ms.Pillsbury's office .
(Ten minutes later )
I sat and watched my Guidance Counselor Ms. Pillsbury , micro clean a grape with gloves for about 3 minutes and then finally eat it . She then looked at me and said,
"So Rachel , how are you ?"
"Fine I guess." I said completely lying
"Really cause when I went into the girls bathroom this morning I heard you crying." She said sanitizing her hands for the fifth time since I walked in the door .
"That could've been anybody , Tina Cohen-Chang cry's at least ten times a day , especially after her and Mike Chang confess they're love for eachother for the fifth time of the day ." I said trying to hide my feelings.
"Rachel , you and I both know it was you , and after everything that has happened I really want to talk to you and make sure you're ready to be back at school ." She told me
"With all your respect Ms. Pillsbury , I'm fine . I had a bad day last week and a moment of weakness . I'm actually fine ." I said lying again .
"Okay , well then why did you quit glee club?" She asked me .
"Because I just didn't feel like doing it anymore." I said
"Rachel you once said you wanted to be on Broadway . I know you love to sing and I don't know what Jessie said but..."
I instantly felt triggered ,
"Don't!" I said upset at the mention of his name .
"Rachel ..."
"All I want is to move on, please let me do that." I said and I got up at left .
(Auditorium)
I skipped the rest of my classes for the day and sat in the auditorium thinking about how much I hated everything in my life . I sat at the piano thinking about how long it's been since I actually played it . Could I even do it anymore ? I sat there and I thought about it . I hit a couple of notes and then started to play ;
(Rachel)
We gather here
We line up weeping in a sunlit room
And if I'm on fire
You'll be made of ashes, too
Even on my worst day
Did I deserve, babe
All the hell you gave me?
'Cause I loved you
I swear I loved you
Till my dying day
I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
And you're the hero flying around saving face
And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet
We gather stones
Never knowing what they'll mean
Some to throw
Some to make a diamond ring
You know I didn't want to
Have to haunt you
But what a ghostly scene
You wear the same jewels
That I gave you
As you bury me
I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave
And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name
Wishing I'd stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet
And I can go anywhere I want
Anywhere I want
Just not home
And you can aim for my heart, go for blood
But you would still miss me in your bones
And I still talk to you
When I'm screaming at the sky
And when you can't sleep at night
You hear my stolen lullabies
I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves
You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same
Cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
You turned into your worst fears
And you're tossing out blame
Drunk on this pain
Crossing out the good years
And you're cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet
(End song)
