just to hide outside your door

ch 1 - each night i ask the stars above, why must i be a teenager in love

He sleep another restless night, dreaming of embracing his boss like a lover, Ciel's chin on his shoulder, his face buried in his neck, Finny could almost smell the aroma of herbal tea and parchment ink the boy carried with him wherever he went. His royal blue eyes pierced into Finny's soul and left a burning need for the most simple of touches.

Rolling over and sighing defeatedly, he stalked downstairs and into the vast library near the parlor, trying to find anything he could read to trick his mind into dreaming of anyone, anything that could give him piece of mind that he wasn't broken. He settled of a thin mauve book with a french title he couldn't barely pronounce in his head. A pretty picture of daffodils soothes his worries anything impure could be lurking in it's chapters.

It didn't take much reading for a very bad idea to enter his adoring mind and lock itself deep in his subconscious. He slammed the book shut, tucking it under his arm and crept outside to begin his unhinged plan of affection.
His work the next day was sloppy, Sebastian even yelled at him twice to stop cutting everything so short, or uneven. He was obviously quite sleep deprived, but what usually upset him to the bone didn't affect him. As the sun was finally setting, he wiped a slick bead of sweat from his eyebrow arch and made his rounds to each section of the yard. He was on a mission, and he didn't care how it might've appeared to the other servants, or if he was missing another meal.
~
Ciel picked aimlessly at his plate. It was a delectable cut of steak and Sebastian cooked it to perfection, pairing it with the best of sides even down to the wine. He just wasn't in the mood to eat, he hadn't been in the best of moods ever since the spring began setting in the countryside of England. He played his foul behavior off to Sebastian by simple asthmatic allergies, but in all truth, it was quite obviously because he wasn't getting his daily tea time with his favorite servant.

When the snow lays a thick blanket over the yard, Finny's job renders unable, and he spends a lot of time inside. This most recent winter, on a particularly bored day, a day where finny happened to be even more boyishly excited, a day where Ciel was longing for someone to make him feel human again, the teal headed boy offered a cup of tea to his gardener.

This daily ritual of Ciel pretending he was annoyed by Finny whilst he spoke adoringly about the routine of everyday became quite quickly the reason Ciel wanted to wake up every day. He tried so very hard to hide the sweet and loving mood he'd get into as he and the sun haired male got closer and closer every white winter day, but sometimes to no avail.
He found himself fighting back defensiveness as Sebastian made the not-so-subtle remark to him that the general public was prone to shunning those with certain pervasive or sac-religious lifestyles after he took notice that his contracted spent more time wandering around the mansion talking to Finny than he did his actual fiancée.

The day the snow was melted enough for Finny to begin reconstruction on the garden for spring was coincidentally the same day Ciel found a frequent daydream plaguing him every time he went to work on something important.
Finny, with his lanky body, holding Ciel on his back running around the mansion, Ciel laughing like he felt he hadn't in so long. The most concerning detail of this fantasy was that Ciel had both his eyes functional, and while he sometimes saw the other servants, Sebastian was no where to be found. Whether Finny was carrying him, they were walking hand in hand, or the most recent and scandalous one where they laid cuddled on the backyard grass in the sun, Ciel knew that he was dreaming of a world where Finny had saved him instead of Sebastian, and that they could live a free healing life. He pushed those thought down harder every day, but they just came back stronger.
After pretending to be enjoying another meal gone to waste, Ciel told Sebastian he just wanted to be alone for that night, dressing himself and tending to his own pre-night rituals. The demon reluctantly agreed, setting off to deliver letters Ciel wrote out that morning to business partners he couldn't truthfully care less about.

Once in his room, Ciel immediately noticed a letter, and three flowers placed not-so inconspicuously at the middle of his bed. With a furrowed brow, his guy told him that this had to hold a certain aura of meaning, he picked up the letter hesitantly, and his face flushed a deep maroon upon seeing the contents.

A scribbled note detailing this mystery sender's appreciation for Ciel was accompanied by a torn out page from a flower language book. Ciel looked intensely at the three flowers before deciphering their meaning.
A blooming golden sunflower held a meaning of adoration and loyalty, the agapanthus meant a sly 'unrequited feelings', and the baby's breath strands let him know the sender was 'pure of heart' in their intentions.

Ciel's grin grew cheshire, he took a sharp breath in and made his way out to the garden, praying no one would see him or that Sebastian would happen to return at that exact moment.
~
Finny exited the servants bathroom, anxious and heart pounding in his chest. He's scrubbed his whole body relentlessly to alleviate himself of the burned skin, as well as to give him a piece of mind that his embarrassment wasn't apparent to those around him from his bodily coloring.

He plopped onto the bed and turned to his nightstand, taking notice of a strange letter, a flower, and a torn page from the flower language dictionary.

He clasped a hand over his mouth to avoid gasping and waking up Bard, who slept in a bed just feet away from him. He dropped the flower on the ground and almost pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"Dear secret admirer;

I appreciate your very unsubtle attempts at gathering my attention. Fortunately for you, you've succeeded. I took the liberty of following in your footsteps by picking out my answer to your arrangement with a singular ambrosia,
Always and privately, Ciel Phantomhive"
The "C" in Ciel was curled so elegantly that Finny almost forgot to read the flower dictionary page.

He fell back onto the bed in pure delight upon reading that an ambrosia flower, just so happened to mean: "Your love is reciprocated"