The Project [Louis]

Chapter Six (Or Where is Zayn?)

"I don't mind it." Niall agrees,

"So we're Liam and the Dizzles now?" Harry says.

"I like it." Liam says.

"Catchy." Niall says.

"Do you think we left Zayn in El Paso?" I ask, now genuinely interested and worried about where Zayn in.

"No way. We couldn't have." Harry shakes his head. "I think..." He says, a little less certain that before.

"I don't really remember him getting him on the bus last night." Liam says, looking very think-y.

"Me neither. But don't you think that he would've called or texted someone by now if he was still in El Paso?" Niall reasons,

"He's probably still sleeping. I mean, without us he'd probably sleep until he's thirty." I tell Niall. Liam and Harry nod.

"How could we forget him? He worth, like, a hundred and fifty million pounds." Harry asks no one in particular,

"What - were we gonna sell him or something?" Niall asks, "I mean, I'm all for it if you all are in."

"I don't think we can sell Zayn when we don't even know where he is." Liam says, making an extremely valid point. 

"Say we knew where he was. Like, where would we sell him? Craigslist?" Harry rests his elbows against the counter, looking legitimately in deep thought.

"I dunno. Is there Craigslist in America?" I ask.

"Yeah. I bought a beer dress last year on tour on Craigslist when we were in America." Niall nods at me.

"What's a... beer dress?" I dare to question Niall,

"See, it's a dress, that you put on your beer bottle to make it look all pretty." Niall says, using his hands to illustrate the act of putting the dress on the beer, using one hand as the bottle and forming the other hand into a ring, putting the first hand through the other hand, making it look like something other than putting a hypothetical dress on the hypothetical beer bottle.

"Whatever. If we sold Zayn then we'd have to split the money four ways, right?" Liam shakes his head in Niall's direction.

"So that's..."

"Thirty-seven million five hundred thousand each." Harry says, holding up his phone and displaying a calculator.

"Not too shabby, eh?" I nod at everyone, smiling.

"Please stop associating yourself with Canadians. You're turning into one." Niall tells me.

"No, you're too rude to be Canadian." Harry tells me, looking just as think-y as Liam was before.

"Are Canadians supposed to be nice?" Liam asks, looking think-y all over again.

"I think so." Harry shrugs. "Or maybe that's Yugoslavians?" 

"There's a country called Yogoslavera?" I furrow my eyebrows,

"It's no wonder you failed a year." Niall snorts at me.

"Oi! I guess you aren't nice enough to be Canadian. Or... Yugoslavinarian?" I look at Harry for assurance. He mouths 'close enough' back at me.

"I'm surrounded by stupidity and incompetence." Niall mummers.

"What does incompetence mean?" I whisper at Harry, who's leaning against the counter next to where I'm sitting on top of the counter.

"It means -" Harry starts, but is cut off by Liam.

"Guys - seriously where's Zayn?" Liam brings us back to the orginal point. I mean, the original point aside from Niall's penis.

Nobody answers for a minute, and then my phone rings. I pick it up from the counter next to me and see a picture of the most ugly foot ever also known as Zayn Malik foot also known as my contact picture for Zayn Malik.

"Guys, I think we're gonna find out where Zayn in..." I say before answering the call.

"Where the fuck are you fucking fucktards?" Zayn yells into my ear.

"Where're you?" I ask weakly, crossing my legs on the counter.

"I'm at the fucking hotel in motherfucking El Paso while you're on your way to fuckling Las Vegas! You can't do the iHeartRadio -"

"Did you just say 'fuckling'?" I giggle, Harry, Liam and Niall all giving me strange looks.

"I - you - YOU LEFT ME IN TEXAS!" Zayn even louder at me.

"Yeah, uh, sorry about that one." I mumble. "It's like the X Factor all over again."

"No, because then I was backstage, and now I'm in Texas while you're going to Vegas!" 

There are lots of valid points being made today, and it's only nine in the morning.

"Sorry - what do you want me to do? Get on a plane to Vegas or something!" I stumble over my words.

"Well I suppose I have to, now don't I? That's the only way I'll be there in time." Zayn huffs and then hangs up without another word.

"Is he mad?" Harry asks in a small voice,

"I think he'll be okay." I smile before placing my phone back on the counter next to me.

"Or he might rip your balls of and feed them to his pet shih tzu." Niall suggests.

"Oi! Why my balls?" I say defensively,

"Because once you do drugs with someone then you automatically have a pact with them." Liam says.

"White boys." I scoff.

"You're the whitest of all the white boys out there, Louis." Niall says, making a fair point.

"Did I tell you about the Indian cleaner lady at the hotel in Glendale?" 

a/n: yeah so this has literally nothing to do with the storyline, but i have the story planned out and it's really short so i thought that i'd add in some useless chapters to make it longer.