Ex's & Oh Nos

(25) "Be Honest"

"Hey Nikki..um are you busy tomorrow?" Emily sent Nikki Facebook message after Bucky went downstairs. 

"Um..no I'm off tomorrow why?" Nikki replied as she was feeding Zara. 

"Do you think we could meet up for lunch? I really need to talk to you it's important."  

"Sure sounds good." 

"Great! So around noon? The harbor?" 

"That sounds perfect for me. Love the Harbor." 

Emily deleted messages in case Bucky decided to go through her phone for retaliation for going through his. The next morning while he was in the shower she air dropped the playlist with her. When he finally came downstairs he filled coffee cup.

"Are you in a better mood?" He said 

She rolled her eyes. "Fine you want me to talk about it! You want me to talk about how they had to induce my ex girlfriend who hadn't even turn 16 yet. Who was in so much pain when it started and how we had not hear him cry! Or how I know how they let us hold our son who looked like he was sleeping! How I had to hold Nikki from having a complete meltdown when they took him away while trying to hold it all together for her." He said as he grabbed his teaching bag and left. 

She swallowed hard as she wiped her tears as she saw Carter laying in swing. The girls went running out the door. "Daddy daddy wait for us." Sienna yelled

Bucky stopped as he calmed down. He helped them get in their seats and he dropped them off at the elementary school. He saw Nikki taking in Saylor while holding Zara. He drove off as he went on to the highschool. 

It finally noon Nikki had her mom watch Zara for her while she met Emily. Emily didn't have Carter with her either. She found Emily already seated. 

"Hi.." Emily said as she took a seat. 

"Hi.." Nikki said 

They both placed their orders. 

"Will you be honest with me Nikki?" Emily said 

"Yeah.." Nikki said a little confused. 

"Did you see James Saturday afternoon?" Emily said 

"No..when I called Winnie to see if she was going to be home before I stopped by she told he was there. So I decided to wait till after he left. Why are you asking? Me and him haven't spoken since iVe been back well I mean he tried one night when you all were at the diner..but I totally brushed him off." She said 

"When you and Riley were together did you tell him about the baby you two had?" Emily said 

"Not right away. It came up when I got pregnant with Saylor. I was terrified to be pregnant again. Riley asked why and told him." She said 

Emily looked down. 

"Nikki I want to apologize to you. I haven't been a nice person to you. A lot of is jealousy..ever since I was 17. He's always had you on this pedastal that no matter how hard I try to reach. I can't ever match you.." Emily said 

"Emily that's not true he loves you." Nikki said as their waiter brought their food. 

"I'm not dumb Nikki. He may love me but he's not in love with me. He may say nasty mean things to you. But he doesn't mean them..he is still very much in love with you. And I feel like that all this time I've just been the side dish just waiting for him to wake up to see that you don't love him. Nikki I know he still loves you..because I found this on his phone. His hidden playlist if I guess..but it's not songs for me..it's songs about long lost love and how he wishes he could get the love back. He never told me about the baby..it was Winnie that told me Sunday night. He claimed it was because he didn't want to relive the memories of that horrible experience." Emily said 

Nikki looked down as she scrolled through the playlist. "Emily..he dated Taylor right after we broke up..I don't think that he's still pining for me. He basically told me to fuck off." She said 

"Nikki I'm not dumb..he still is very much in love with him. I will never measure up to you I will never be the great love of his life like you are. He's not been himself since you moved back its almost like college all over again.." Emily said 

Nikki swallowed hard. "Why are you telling me all this? What do you want me to do? I'm not trying to cause problems." Nikki said 

"I want you to talk to him. He talks to you he will listen to you.." Emily said as she grabbed her hand.

Nikki sighed. "Please Nikki..I'm losing my husband because he still has feelings for you." She said 

"Okay.." she said 

Later that night Nikki told her mom to keep the girls over night since she had to wait till Bucky was alone at the shop. Brady let her in as he was cleaning. She went up to the office Bucky looked up from the inventory list.

"Oh are you here to see the invisible man?" He said 

"Do you still love me?" She said 

He rolled his eyes. "Nicole.." he said 

"Because if you do then you need to talk to your wife. Because I really don't need another uncomfortable lunch that makes me want to be swallowed up by the floor." She said 

"Excuse me.." He said 

"Emily invited me to have lunch with her today. She started going on and on how you have set me up so high that she can never measure up to me. And she asked if I seen you Saturday and if I told Riley about Matthew. Bucky if you are in love with some one else then why in the hell are having kids and wasting her time." She said 

"Nikki I'm sorry.. I didn't know that our fight was going to involve you." He said 

"Buck? Do you? You can be honest..it's just me and you. You don't have to act like a total ass.." she said 

He stood up and he walked to her. "Nicole I love my wife. But yes there is always a part of me that still loves you. You were the love of my life I told you I wanted it to be you." He said 

"Then be in love with her. Be the husband you need to be for her." She said 

"Nikki..what happened to your marriage? Why did you walk away?" He said as he held her close. 

"He was becoming someone else. He was no longer Riley Jacob.." she said as she stepped backwards. 

He let her go. "Bucky I think you are lying to yourself. You need to figure out what you want?" She said 

"And what if it is you?" He said which made her stop. 

"What if it is you that I still want?" He said 

"Bucky I'm not ready for that..my marriage just ended because I was tired being abused emotionally and mentally." She said 

"Baby doll you weren't happy from the start. Don't lie I saw your wedding pictures." He said 

"Bucky get back to work.." she said as she left. 

He closed his eyes as he sat down in the desk chair and laid his face in his hands. 

"Damn you Emily." He whispered as he sat there.