not strings attached

new beginings

i woke up with a pounding headache. my head was foggy as i tried replaying the events of last night. once i fully opened my eyes i realized i wasn't in my own bed. i was in a familiar room. it was pete's. i started to remember last night.
once the show ended we were back in the dressing room. the boys were practically begging me to go get drinks with them. i finally gave in and we went to a club.
all i remember is getting to the club and taking a bunch of shots. the rest of the night was a blur. suddenly i got an urge. i jumped up and ran to the bathroom and started puking. it was horrible. i basically crawled back to pete's bed. searching for my phone i got i found it on the floor.
jenny: 12 missed calls
i texted her
blair- yo tell me how tf i woke up at pete's this morning
jenny- no way are y'all back together
blair- haha no all i remember is going out for drink with him and the other guys last night
jenny- ok well i'll see you later lol
i noticed pete wasn't in the bed. i heard talking in the living room. i decided to go out and see if i could find anything else out about last night. i walked out and saw pete and the rest of the guys. "look who finally woke up" colson blurted out. all of the guys turned to look at me. "you really know how to party blair" rook said. they all laughed. "yeah about that what the hell happened last night i can't remember anything also pete can i have some advil" i spoke. pete walked over to get me some advil and some water while colson started telling me what happened last night.
by the end of the story i was grateful i didn't do anything to stupid and that they took care of me. "you have to come out with us again sometime it was so fun" colson said "yeah maybe but don't ever let me get that drunk again" i chuckled lightly "also can someone give me a ride home" i asked "yeah i got you" pete said "thanks let me go get my stuff" i said
pete and i were in the car. to say it was awkward would be an understatement. i turned the music down. "pete we need to talk" i spoke softly "yeah i was thinking the same thing" he said "why'd you do it?" i asked bluntly "why did you go out with another girl right after i said i love you? why did you do that to me? i haven't said i love you to any guys ever and meant it until you and i just don't understand why you would do that i thought it was different pete i thought you were different" i rambled finally letting all of my feelings out. "blair i don't know why. i felt like i didn't deserve you. i felt like i wasn't good enough for you. you didn't even want a relationship when u first met you and i just didn't wanna hurt you" he spoke "oh so this is on me because i didn't want a relationship when i first met you so that means you can go out with another girl after i fucking said i love you" i felt the tears welling up in my eyes i couldn't hold back anymore i started crying. pete looked over at me he pulled the car over and grabbed my hands  "no no no stop crying it's not your fault it's mine i shouldn't have done it you were so vulnerable with me and i shouldn't have done that to you. you're the only girl who makes me feel like this and you didn't deserve that. i love you blair and i always will and i want to make this work so badly. and i understand you need time but i'm always here" he poured out. i couldn't help it i was weeping i knew he meant what he said and i couldn't help it i leaned in and kissed him. he kissed back. his lips were soft like i remembered. i pulled away suddenly "i'm sorry i can't do this can you please take me home" i spoke quietly. "yeah sure" pete said and pulled the car back onto the road. the rest of the ride was quiet the music playing softly in the background i couldn't help but think about the kiss. i was still in love with pete but was i ready to take him back. my mind was cluttered with thoughts when we pulled up to my building. i quickly jumped out and ran inside my building. i needed a long shower. i needed to think and figure things out. i decided i would text pete when i'm ready.
-time skip-
it had been a week since i kissed pete he had texted me once saying that he understood and knew i needed time. i didn't respond. i couldn't think of what to say. i was having so many mixed feelings right now. jenny and ella had noticed how i was acting lately and we decided to have a girls weekend. we all chipped in so we could stay in a presidential suite at one of the nicest hotels in the city. we planned everything we would go out for breakfast then a spa day then the mall and then the club at night.
we had just gotten back to the hotel from shopping we all got new clothes to wear clubbing tonight it was around 6:00pm so we all decided to start getting ready. ella was on facetime with colson while she was getting ready. once jenny and i were ready we went into the bathroom and talked to them. "we stole your girlfriend for the weekend colson how do you feel" i said "it's fine" he chuckled "just make sure to watch out for her" he spoke "oh don't worry we're both gonna be watching blair considering she's the only single one" jenny said laughing. i didn't realize colson was with pete or the next sentence wouldn't have come out of my mouth "hey i'm single i'm just having fun it's been a rough week" i blurted out they all laughed "well you girls look beautiful and y'all have fun tonight by ladies" colson said "say bye pete" colson added turning the camera towards pete. my eyes went wide and i hurried out of the bathroom. they ended the call. "ella you didn't tell me pete was there omg." i said kinda annoyed "dude i didn't even know he was was he didn't talk the whole time or acknowledge pete the whole time i was on the phone" she explained "ughh now i feel bad" i said "why he's the one who cheated" jenny stated "yeah but i'm the one who kissed last week" i said nonchalantly while putting my shoes on. they both looked at each other and back at me. "you did what now" "girl why didn't you tell us" they both said at the same time "i didn't think it mattered i'm not ready to get back with him even though i am still in love with him the feelings took over and i kissed him that's why i've been acting this way all week i don't know what to do like i want him but i don't know what to do you guys" i poured out finally telling them all that was on my mind. "blair i'm going to be honest with you right now. i haven't seen you genuinely happy since you were with him and if you want him you need to be with him. you just admitted to yourself you want him so why not get him." jenny spoke "yeah blair you just said you're still in love with you and i'm assuming he still loves you and we just want you to be happy so just text him." ella said "ok i will but can i do it tomorrow so we can go have fun tonight?" i said they nodded and we headed out
the next morning i decided to text him me ella and jenny had ordered room service and decided what i should say we finally decided on something simple
blair- hi i love you
we waited for a bit until he texted back
pete- lol i love you too blair are you ok?
blair- yes i'm perfectly fine i just want you to know i love you and wanna be with you.
pete- are you saying what i think you're saying
blair- indeed i am i want us to be together again
pete- fuck yes omg i missed you so much
blair- but one thing we have to take it slow i need to know you're in this
pete- yes that is fine
blair- alright well i'll talk to you tomorrow pete
pete- alright baby
reading that text gave me butterflies i was so beyond happy to be back with him. i just hoped he was in this for real this time.