The Mark of Rome

xvi / where there is love...

"Ubi amor, ibi dolor..."
             Where there is love, there is pain...

We spent weeks between the bliss of being away from Rome and the strain of having so far yet to go. The air was sweet and fresh, and every stopping place looked and felt as if we were in a new land. Cassia and I frequented the sloping knolls with Vian keeping careful watch. They flirted, the two of them. They stole gentle glances and brief touches when they thought it would go unnoticed, but I saw. My sister's hair glimmered like gold strands under the sun and I even spied the rarest of full-mouthed smiles from Marius's commander. Octavian, who never laughed at anything, was given to an open-mouthed look of wonder and a chuckle at whatever anecdote my clever sister told him. Cassia had always been like that, genial and warmth-personified, but I knew Vian didn't grin that half-moon smile for just anyone. She had worn at him in these months. He was built like a menace with a towering stature and eyes like color of the midnight sky. Every part of Octavian was rough and angular and there was a fair amount of scarred tissue tracing his body like a map of every place he'd been, but for all of his jagged edges, my sister brought a lightness to his eyes and a gentleness to his movements.

His raven-colored locks danced in the wind as she teased him. It was as if I were watching the Day and Night.

It was precious to me, their courting that reminded me in some ways of how Marius and I had been.

They were strangers that the Fates had put together.

The wind caressed my face everywhere we went. My palm was given to resting protectively over my belly, finally feeling the fluttering kicks of a living, breathing thing inside me.

I carried the future of a dynasty, and that was no small weight in my mind's eye, with every move I made as this babe sat in my womb.

The first time it happened, Marius was beside me on an outstretched blanket, laying his head right below the curve of my stomach. He found a brief reprieve from war counsels and the drilling of men to be with me.

We spent most of our free moments in each other's company. It was beginning to be the place where we were most comfortable.

We talked of things we might have if we had met each other in the usual way.

"Vian talks of Cassia and no one else. You wanted to see your sisters married. He isn't of the same stock as the other man, but he'll treat her well, hm?"

I combed through his curls with my fingers, sitting in reflection with him. "My sister is completely infatuated with him. If one of us ought to marry out of love, it might as well be her. You'll give your blessing?"

"I would. I'd be happy to do it," he confirmed with a gentle nod. The breeze was soft on my back and it made the grass sway lightly in its thrall. "I know it wasn't the case when we were wed, but you are happy with me, are you not?"

It was the simplest string of words, but everything I knew of my husband was reframed by it. It was a rare moment of insecurity for him as toned indicated ever hesitation that I might not feel for him what he felt.

He loved me. I knew he did because he never forgot to remind me, but I'd never said those words to him. I wasn't ready to and there was still a weak spot in my heart, a lingering sensation that it would be betrayal for me to speak those words aloud.

But I cared for him like no other. He did make me happy, exceedingly so, more than I could have ever imagined. That I could say.

My lips fell down in a moment of sheer adoration and I clasped his face in my hands as I did my best to lean down and kiss him. My belly was a bit of an obstacle, but he met me halfway, rising up onto his elbows to accept my affection. I held our faces together as the sun shone softly and warmly on our features. "You are my every happiness, Marius."