Demi POV
I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm miserable. It feels like I'm hanging on the edge of depression and sanity, and the only thing that's keeping me from falling off of the cliff and into a downward spiral of depression is my daughter.
I knew that the divorce wasn't something that she would take easily, because she loved me and Wilmer, and she loved that we were together. It was like we were her united force that could conquer the world as long as we were by each other's sides. But things have changed and hearts have been crushed and promises have been broken and as much as I would love to stay with Wilmer for the sake of my daughter...I can't. I can't put myself through that emotional and mental and physical torture because he's hurt me so much, and I've done the same to him. We didn't cheat on each other or anything like that. We just used our weaknesses to destroy each other, and the kingdom that we built up together slowly came tumbling down.
"What are we gonna do?" Tucking Gabi in and singing her a Spanish lullaby and kissing her goodnight almost made it feel like old times. Almost. But then I looked into the eyes of my ex husband and remembered why we divorced in the first place, and was brought back to reality. Wilmer and I will never be the same again.
"I don't know." Sometimes I feel like people have this inaccurate perception of me. They think that I have all the answers and my life is just so perfect but it's not and it never will be.
"I don't want to pretend like everything is okay between us. I don't wanna build up this fake facade for her just because she's unhappy with our situation. It's just something that she's gonna have to deal with." Though he made sense, his words made me angry. This isn't something that she should have to deal with at all. I know the scars that divorce leaves on children and I didn't want those scars marked on my daughter, but they obviously already are. She's clingy and whiny and angry and frustrated and I don't know how to fix it because the solution to this problem is one that I refuse to even consider.
"She's five, Wilmer. She shouldn't have to deal with anything." I slid down her closed door and Wilmer sat next to me.
What had happened to us? I love this man. I know that I love him and I thought for the longest time that it would just be enough, but it's not. I met him when I was young and we both were dealing with things and we threw ourselves into a relationship that we weren't ready for. We broke up and stayed apart but then made up and became inseparable. It was impossible for us to stay away from each other no matter what happened. I don't think that's the case this time. I think we're finished.
"I just want her to have a happy and normal childhood and I feel like we've messed that up for her. I honestly don't know what to do," Wilmer breathed out. The years were catching up to him...to both of us. Somehow I felt that we were too old to be going through any of this. This shouldn't be happening to us. We should have this all figured out.
"What if we just...what if we lived together but we didn't like...ya know, live together? It may be weird and awkward and tense but I hate seeing Gabi so distraught over this. I want her to be happy and if I have to suck it up and move in with you, I don't care," I suggested. It even sounded like a bad idea to me but I don't know what else to do.
"But wouldn't that be building up this false sense of hope for her, and even for us, that we're gonna end up back together?"
Wilmer always irritated me in the fact that he could constantly see the logical side of things when I didn't want to see it.
I didn't know what else to do except for cry. I'm almost 30 years old with a five year old daughter and I'm divorced from the man that I was sure I was gonna spend the rest of my life with.
Wilmer brought me into his arms like he would always do when I had emotional breakdowns, or when I just needed his support. He was always there for me but things were so different now and I hated it. He rubbed my arm and let me lay my head on his chest and it almost felt like old times, but I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't going to last, that tomorrow we would wake up and we would still be divorced and my daughter would still be upset and I still wouldn't know what to do about it.
"We'll figure it out, nena, we always do," Wilmer cooed. His nose was nestled into my scalp and I felt so comfortable. I never wanted this to end. But we were divorced. And things were different. And nothing would ever be the same.
Gabi POV
When I opened my door when the sun came up I wasn't expecting to see mommy and daddy hugging each other on the floor while they were sleeping. Mommy and daddy are so weird. Why didn't they just sleep on their bed like normal people?
I thought it would be rude to wake them up even though they're rude to me a lot so I just walked around them and went downstairs. I was hungry and I didn't wanna wait for them to make me food. Mommy says that there are certain foods you're just supposed to eat for breakfast and certain foods that you're not supposed to eat. But mommy isn't here so I went into the pantry and grabbed down a bag of popcorn and some fruit snacks. The counter where we sit is kind of high so I put my snacks up there first and then climbed up on the chair.
I opened the bag of popcorn and tried to pour some out on a napkin but it spilled everywhere and I didn't feel like cleaning it so I just began to eat it up. I opened my fruit snacks and ate those too. I wish mommy or daddy would wake up so that I can get something to drink.
"GABI!" Oh I didn't know they'd wake up that quick. Mommy walked into the kitchen and she looked like she wanted to yell at me but instead she started to laugh. What was so funny?
"Is this your idea of breakfast?" Daddy was laughing too and I was just looking at them and eating my popcorn because I don't get the joke. Mommy and daddy are just so weird.
"I didn't wanna wake you guys up," I said, but they were still laughing. I don't get it. I really don't.
"Well do you want some proper breakfast or is your little snack good?" Mommy asked, walking around the counter and picking me up. I think I'm too old to be held but mommy likes to have me close so I don't protest.
"Can we get breakfast together?" I shyly ask, because I'm scared that they're gonna get mad and say no. This is the closest that mommy and daddy have been for a while and I don't want them to be apart again.
"Yeah, breakfast is on me. I'm gonna go get changed and then we'll meet at Golden Gate," daddy planned. I think my smile almost broke my face. I didn't think it would be so easy to get mommy and daddy to agree to go to the same place together, and with me, like a family, like we're supposed to be.
After daddy left, mommy helped me take a bath and she washed my hair which I really don't like because she always gets soap in my eyes. Mommy said she didn't feel like fixing my hair today so she braided it down my back with a pretty bow at the end. Then she let me wear a white pair of shorts and a pretty shirt with flowers all over it as long as I promised not to get all dirty. After that mommy got dressed in a pretty dress and she did her hair all nice and even put makeup on, and then we were ready to go.
We met daddy at the restaurant that we used to go to for breakfast all the time. Daddy let me get a big waffle with strawberries and whip cream and mommy and daddy got the same thing. Mommy was cutting up my waffle for me when daddy began to talk.
"Gabi, we gotta talk about some things, okay?" I hope this isn't more divorce talk because I'm tired of hearing about something so stupid. Mommy and daddy were being nice to each other now. Couldn't they just get back together?
"Here's what's gonna happen. Your mom and I are gonna live in seperate houses but whenever you wanna spend time with one of us, you can tell us and I'll take you to see mommy or she'll bring you to me. On the weekends, it'll be family time. That means from Friday to Sunday, me, you, and mommy will be spending that time together. We're still a family, things are just different, okay?" Daddy explained. I still didn't like it but it seems like mommy and daddy are serious about this divorce thing, and my Auntie Dal said that I should try to make things easier for them, so I didn't cry about it.
"Okay." My voice was quiet because I was upset, but at least we would get to spend the weekends as a family. It would suck not being a family all of the time though.
