The days were good when we had each other,
Growing up together forming bonds that seemed unbreakable,
3 then 4, our group of friends kept growing,
It was nobody's business what we were up to,
The only thing that mattered is that we were having fun,
It's true that as days go by, things start to change,
Feelings come and go, but mine remained the same,
I'd hoped in your heart, that yours stayed the same way too.
Yelling and snarking at me, but I still stayed right here,
Even if you told me to go away, I'd still remain right here,
I'll stay by your side because that's what a good friend does,
I accept your feelings, yet I still don't know why.
The whispering you do behind my back hurts my heart, but I remain right here,
Even if I don't receive a good reason for it all, I still stay right here,
But the reoccurring thoughts I don't want to have, made me so confused,
But I pushed them aside to focus on your feelings first,
"If I can make you happy, then I'll be satisfied,"
But can I really say that?
It is okay if you start to hate me,
So is it okay if I start to hate you,
It seems our friendship is like trash scattered around the room from an outside view,
If that's the case, then I won't take out a single piece,
Left at the corner of the classroom sitting all alone,
A lukewarm beverage that, even you, refuse to drink
No matter what, I cannot bring myself to throw it away,
Even if it has the distastefulness of Low-carb soda
Present-day we still have each other,
Just like destiny, things did change,
You run off to talk to your other friends,
Yet I didn't know you could smile like that,
I can still have fun with you alone,
And even enjoy my time with our other friends,
At the end of the day, unwanted thoughts well up inside my head,
If you say hurtful things and mock me, then that's okay with me,
Telling me I'm annoying and to leave you alone; know that I'm here for you,
Even if others tell me that this kind of relationship is unhealthy,
I'll block their words because I know that I'm a good friend,
I can't deny that the others' words are finally getting to me,
Even if I have words that I'd like to say to you,
"I won't say them because you deserve to be happy,"
Can I say that after all this time?
You get pleasure when you and others laugh at me,
Will I feel the same pleasure if I laughed at me too,
I took the truthful words that the others told me, along with my feelings,
And pushed them aside because I wanted to make you smile like your other friends do,
I know it's not wrong of me to feel the way I do,
Though I can't help but feel bad that I have these feelings for me,
It omits a cheap taste like Low-carb soda
It's okay that things turned out this way,
My love for our friendship will still remain the same,
One day you will see the importance of it too,
With that said,
It's okay if you start to hate me,
So is it okay if I started to hate you?
Our friendship is like trash scattered around the room,
But even then, I still won't take out a single piece,
Left at the corner of the classroom sitting all alone,
A lukewarm beverage that, even you, still refused to drink
No matter what, I cannot bring myself to throw it away,
Even if it has the distastefulness of Low-carb soda
So if you receive pleasure from laughing at me, then that's okay,
'Cause in the end you'll notice the trash as I do,
You'll see that it is just like Low-carb soda.
YOU ARE READING
Unidentified ambivalence
Non-Fiction[Untitled] You dont have to, but if u stumble across and browse this then it won't matter if you want to A small writing self-project to write down all the feelings I've felt and/or witnessed from myself or others and arrange them into what would s...
