Requiem for his soul

Chapter 4

She remembers he had once told her in their third year that she shouldn't fret or worry herself with numbers and logistics, that " It's the qualities of one's conviction that determines success not the number of followers." Now they both realize, that's clearly not the answer, not for this War, maybe in a reality where Harry was still with them, his words would have meant something.

But they don't.

She folded the letter and gave it to Hermes, she watched the Weasleys screech owl fly into the night, his wings spread apart and flapped freely in the night sky, doing a small rotation and then he was gone from her eyesight.

She sighed and grabbed onto her beaded bag, shaking it slightly and hearing her books fall. Her lips twitched upwards, before she turned around and apparated away.

...

There's something comforting about being on your own, alone, isn't there? But do you really trust yourself in the silence, not to hallucinate your demons? To experiment and corrupt your own soul? or physically harm your own body? Do you trust that you're stable to continue? Do you trust the voices in your head? Or are you lying to yourself and saying everything's fine?

Do you trust my voice?

Odd when you, the Gryffindor princess is again found without her protectors.

Vulnerable

Alone

But leaving you to ruin your own self, now that's one way to get revenge. Your self destructive, righteous, stupidly courageous......

Fucking Damn it.

BREATHE!

Abruptly Hermione's body jerked up, her mouth was muffled and hidden under the covers.

Someone was speaking to her in her head. The same voice again, she hadn't heard them since they had last told her to tell Ron everything. Now she realizes what a mistake that had been, it had cost her, her entire relationship. But she couldn't marry him, it would be wrong. But the voice, whoever it was, they were... they were rude, yet they told her to breathe. They woke her up.

She's being reckless again and had subconsciously tried to suffocate herself in her sleep, wrapped in blankets and woollen scarfs.

Nothing made sense anymore except....the air, it felt thicker, smog? The air always feels thick but this.

Suddenly a blast, loud and deafening alerted her, she got up and ran as quickly as she could out of the bed, her hair tied up in a loose braid and clothes crumpled from her sleep. The ground seemed to shake and rupture with each step she took. Her eyes darted across the tent room. Her heart rapidly beating. It was still dark outside, couldn't be past maybe 4am, but somethings wrong.

No!  she internally yelled

This was her last stop. She would reach, make it on time. She would get there

Fuck

Lupin said this was safe, this was the way she wouldn't be contacted, or found. It had been a week before she watched Hermes fly off, while she apparated in secrecy to the check in points before reaching her destination. There were three check in points where she would find a different emergency port key if anything happened to her, it wasn't safe that she went alone but she took that risk anyways, Ron hadn't wanted anything to do with her, so she decided to help him from far away, she's not abandoning him, at least that's what she's told herself multiple times. This..... this is just a small mission, a small detour she would return soon, actually she has no idea when she will be back, she's just looking for her air, that's all, just something that she can breathe in.