𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 -𝘖𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 -

seven

sort of filler chapter?

the brunette rolled out of bed and slammed a hand down on his alarm clock. that was probably the most sleep he had gotten in awhile. without you he was restless, often he would find himself scrolling through pictures of you or listening to old voicemails until the sun came up. the way you smiled made his heart ache. he missed your smile so much, every second of everyday he missed every little thing about you. all he wanted was to be with you again, but Oikawa knew he had fucked up big time.

it all started off with shared looks across the room to secret meet ups. a couple months ago, he meant to tell her to back off but ended up in a tight storage room with her. things progressed until he felt too guilty to even look at you. he knew you were too good for him and it was just a matter of time before you realized. he was terrified of losing you, but he couldn't stop. Oikawa pulled her closer while pushing you away. he was disgusted with himself and his actions, the only reason he did it was because of his own insecurities. yet he knew nothing could justify what he did to you.

Oikawa ran a shaky hand through his messy hair, it was way past afternoon on a Saturday and he had skipped practices enough already. he threw on the next appropriate piece of clothing onto himself and went on his way. while he walked he passed by your house and he found himself stopping by your gate. your curtains were closed which meant you were probably home. here he was again, so close to you yet so far. Tooru had to force himself to continue walking, despite how bad he wanted to knock on your door.

"you're late" Iwaizumi muttered to him when he walked to his side. the two had been significantly distant since what had happened with you. Oikawa had cried to him countless times but Hajime had just responded with the same couple of words every time.

'it's your fault'

of course he knew it was, he fucked up this time. he would apologize a million times if it meant you would just smile at him again. Tooru couldn't even look at you though, he hated seeing you hurt like this. all he wanted was to put the pieces back together in your eyes. it felt like something was missing in his chest, you were missing from his life. his heart seemed to ache more with every passing day.

he began to push himself harder into volleyball, despite the almost unbearable pain growing in his knee. Iwaizumi had to force him to take a break, he really needed it anyways.

the days passed by painfully slow, he hated weekdays because of how far yet so close he was to you. Oikawa walked to class slowly, everyday seemed to be a repeat of the last. it was boring and bland without you, the world seemed dull. he had to go a different way to class just to not see you, he really wanted to but he knew it was for the best. you had often walked by his class right before he got there, Oikawa found himself almost calling out to you a few times.

instead he would wait until you turned down the hallway and then enter his classroom. his classmates all knew what happened and some would give him pity looks as he walked to his seat. most of them being people who were just waiting for him to be single. as more time passed by, everyone seem to forget about it and things seemed to go back to normal. his fan girls began to take turns walking him to class, now that you weren't there to do that. Tooru tried to talk to them all the time to distract himself, but it never fully worked.

after class he decided to go buy some milk bread to lift himself up a bit, since he wasn't allowed to practice for awhile he had more spare time. there was a little pastry shop not far from his house so he started to head that way. he never got the chance to take you to said shop, he knew you would've loved it. Oikawa bought his milk bread and started to walk back home, he took the route that passed by your house, passing the park you had shared your first 'i love you' at.

"Koshi i'm serious, you could be a model" he knew that voice, he could pick your voice up from a crowd of chattering people. Oikawa turned his head towards that voice so quick he could've snapped it. his heart seemed to stop beating as he searched for you.

there you were, the love of his life, laughing and smiling while snapping pictures of someone. he stopped and stepped towards your direction but stopped himself. his heart clenched harshly in his chest, he watched as you smiled again at the guy in front of you. Oikawa begged the universe to have you look his way but you were too busy with the other person. he continued on his way but didn't stop looking towards you, finally you turned your head in his direction. his heart sped up as he slowed down and waited for you to notice him, but that moment never came. Tooru turned his head away and didn't dare look back.

that night he cried until his throat was sore, until his eyes were puffy and red. the image of you with someone else completely destroyed him. Tooru could still hear you laughing, it echoed in his head until he fell asleep. your smile was the last thing on his mind, just like every other night. except this time it hurt much more than usual.

there was a sort of comfort in seeing you smile like that again, yet the stinging in his chest outweighed it greatly.

an: omg hey sorry for a short chapter and also for disappearing 🙏