Forever & Always

Chapter 2

Date: October 19, 2011
Location: BAU Conference Room

Emily's POV

My heart shatters watching JJ disregard me and walk away but I knew she needed space. I just hope that she can forgive me.

I quickly wipe my tears and clear my throat, "Let's... um... let's get back to work." I said and picked up the case files.

One week later - I don't want to write about the case. Sorry🙃

October 26, 2011
BAU Bullpen

JJ ignored me the whole case. If we were in the same room she would act like I didn't exist. If I walked in the room while she was talking to Derek or Reid she would get quiet. I tried my best to not let it get to me but it honestly hurt so I put up my walls and they stayed there for the rest of the case. When the case was done I was relieved, I could finally go back to my hotel and just be alone. Right when I stand up and reach for my wallet, badge, and keys, Hotch calls my name.

"Yes, Hotch?" I replied

"Meet me in my office, please?" He said in his regular stern voice.

I nod and make my way to his office, I can feel everyone's eyes on me. If looks could kill I would be dead, I could feel their looks of sadness, and rage without even turning around. When I reached Hotch's office I could finally breathe again and I felt safe from their stares.

"Emily I called you in here to offer you your job back, I know things are kind of rocky with the team but they will forgive you, we are a family. I'm not expecting an answer right now but please consider it." He said, it almost sounds like he was begging for me to come back.

"Hotch, I'm going, to be honest... I don't think I will take this job back. My girlfriend, my best friend, and someone who is like a little brother to me all hate me-" he tried to cut me off but I kept speaking "They hate me and I completely understand why. Every time I walk into a room they get quiet, their smiles fade when they see me. Please don't get me started on Garcia, every time I walk out of the room whether that's to use the bathroom or get coffee she looks at me like she's never going to see me again. You and Rossi are so good at hiding your emotions that I don't know how you guys feel about me so I don't think I'll come back but I will add it to my options, ok?" He nodded.

"Have a good weekend Emily." He said.

"You too." I got up and walked out to feel everyone's eyes back on me. I keep my head down and go straight to the elevator. When I get to the ground floor I hurry to one of the FBI issues cars and speed off to my hotel.

When I got to the hotel I immediately jumped in the shower. I had the water so hot that it hurt and I started scrubbing my skin trying to get rid of their hate-filled stare. I didn't even know I was crying until I tasted my salty tears. I felt so guilty and now everyone I love, hates me. Eventually, I stopped scrubbing and I just stared at my irritated skin until the water got so cold I was shaking. I found the energy to get out of the shower, dry myself off, and change my clothes. I put on grey sweatpants, and a black Nike sports bra then threw myself on the couch.

I was trying to relax and watch tv on my couch but my mind kept wandering to JJ and Henry. Will she let me see him even if she doesn't take me back? I really wish I was home with them and not in this stupid hotel. She's probably never going to forgive you, you left you to raise Henry alone and didn't even bother to call, you're no better than Will. No no no Emily you had to, you couldn't call them because if you did you would be putting both them and yourself at risk. I thought to myself, I had so many conflicting thoughts that my head started to hurt.

I got up and went to the bathroom, and rummaged the cabinets for something to stop this headache. When I couldn't find anything I gave and walked to the living area then turned off the tv and went to my suitcase to find a shirt. I found a regular black, I put it on then went back to the living area to get the rest of my stuff. Just as I grabbed my keys my phone began to ring. I look at the caller ID and it's Rossi, I sigh then answer the phone.

"Hey Kiddo, I'm making dinner come over let me feed you and get you drunk." He said enthusiastically.

"Is this a team dinner because if it is I can't go. I've had enough of them ignoring me to last a lifetime." I say.

"No kid, it's just me and you, dinner will be ready by 7 so come over anytime before then." As he said that I look at the clock, it reads 5:56.

"Can I come now I was about to go to the pharmacy but I rather just go straight to your house if that's ok with you?" I ask

"Yeah kiddo, whatever you want the door will be unlocked when u get here so just walk right in. See you in a little bit." With that, he hangs up.

I make my way to my car and start the drive to Rossi's house. He lived 15 minutes away from my hotel so I was there in almost no time. I backed it to Rossi's driveway to the spot I used to park in when we had team dinners. I hopped out of the car and went to the front door of the mansion and walked in.

"Rossi!" I yelled.

"Kitchen!" He replied quickly.

I took off my shoes and walked over to the kitchen to see Rossi over the stove with a kitchen towel over his shoulder checking to see if the noodles were cooked enough. I smiled.

"Hey kiddo, I'm glad you came." He said, pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead in a fatherly manner.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I say with a smile as we pull away. I sit in a chair next to the counter. "So I have two questions?"

"Shoot them at me, kiddo." He replied while stirring his homemade sauce.

"Did you invite me here to talk and if you did, where's the alcohol?" He chuckled at my question.

"Yes, I did bring you here to talk." I sigh, he continues. "To answer your other question the fancy stuff is on a rack in the dining room but the hard stuff is in the top cabinet next to the fridge." He turns and winks at me.

I get up and get a bottle from the cabinet with the hard stuff. I grab two small glasses and pour some in both glasses then put one by the stove where he is. He thanks me, picks it up and takes a sip, I do the same.

"So kid, tell me what's going on in your head?" He asked with a concerned tone.

"Um... well I guess I just miss everyone and I know it's not fair to expect them to forgive me but I really hoped that they would at least look at me once during the case. I can't lose them all over again." I saw with tears in my eyes, trying to blink them away.

"I know it's hard but they are going to come around, I promise. Just give it a little more time." He pulled me in his arms and I broke down.

"What if JJ doesn't want to be with me anymore and I can't see Henry. What if Derek can never forgive me and I lose my best friend then who do I go to at 3 in the morning when my head is spinning and I can't think straight. Then there's Reid what if he hates me so much that he'll never play chess or poker with me again. Rossi, there are so many "what if" eating away at me that I don't think I can take it." I say still crying into his chest.

"I won't let that happen, I'm going to give it time to resolve on its own and if it doesn't I'll take care of it, ok?" I nod. "The food will be ready in about an hour. Go lay down in your favorite guest room and take a nap, your favorite blanket is already in there."

I get up and sniffle "thank you." I go into the room and lay down the second I put my head on the pillow I fall asleep.

One hour later

"Hey Kid, the foods ready and I have a movie in the living room ready so come on." I nod while rubbing my eyes.

I sat up and followed him to the kitchen, he already had our plates ready. I grabbed both plates while he grabbed some water and beers. I sit the plates on the living room table while I wait for him. A couple of minutes later he comes out with all the drinks. He starts the movie and we eat. We watched 4 movies then we realized how late it was, we put everything away and when I was going to leave he said it was too late for me to be driving and told me to stay in the guest room, so I did and for the first time in a long time I felt ok.