Autophobia (Brusnop)

14: The Struggle

I woke up the the sound of a pounding at my door, and the feeling of throbbing in my head. The two beats went in sync. I stood up feeling a rush of hangover spread from my head to the rest of my body. I walked over to the door and opened it, disappointed to see that it was only my next door neighbor. 

"Is everything alright in here?" She asked me. God, her voice is way too loud. 

"Everything's great Mrs. Shapero."

"I heard some really interesting screams. Are you alone?"

"Of course I'm alone. You didn't think that I was torturing someone, did you?"

"You always do have a tenancy to get wild....." Her old eyes glistened with disapproval.

"I wasn't fucking anyone, killing anyone, or doing anything wrong."

"Language," She scolded. 

I rolled my eyes, wishing a bullet would go right through that damn cross around her neck. "I apologize. But I would appreciate it if you would leave me alone."

"But-"

I slammed the door in her face. "Goodbye!" I shouted. Why are old people always such nib shits? On the other side of things, I must've been having a pretty tough time with last night's nightmare. I can't blame myself for it though, Ben did kill me. 

I heard a ringing noise coming from my pocket, and I answered it without looking at the name. "What is it?" I groaned.

"Mate, you might want to get out here," The voice of Sam responded back to me. 

"Where are you?" I asked, going to get my shoes back on so I could join him.

"I'm literally just outside of your building."

"What's going on?"

"I think someone called the police or something. Did you do something last night?"

"All I did was have a nightmare."

"Well, you better tell that to them. They're gonna search your place, you know that right?"

I spied the bottles on my counter. "Fucking hell." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "I'll be right there." I hung up on him and went back out of my flat, down the staircase, and out to the front. As I was walking, the sound of sirens became louder and louder. It was quite an annoying sensation to my head. People were talking out here about what the hell was going on, and I glanced at Mrs. Shapero knowingly. "You did this," I told her.

"Of course I did this. Heaven only knows what was going on with you last night."

I wanted to punch her in the face and scream at her until my lungs hurt, but that would make me look even worse. But the hangover was making it hard for me to think straight. There were too many people around me, and it was too loud, and too bright. I hit her shoulder hard. "You blithering idiot!"

"Wha-" 

I grabbed the collar of her shirt and gripped it tightly in my fist. "Next time, before you start jumping to conclusions, make sure that you have your story straight. There was no one else with me last night, period!" I let her go, pushing her away from me. 

"At least now I can know that for sure." She crossed her arms and looked away from me with disapproval. 

I growled in frustration, exiting to building to go and find Sam, because at least he knows that I'm innocent. I covered my ears at the sound of the sirens, because now it felt like my head was going to explode from the sound. My eyes might melt from the light as well. I found him standing out there, looking up at the top floor windows. I approached him, and he pinched his nose. "Geez, you wreak."

"What's it smell like?" I asked, worried.

"Alcohol and vomit, honestly. But it's not the greatest combination. What did you do last night?"

"I may have overdone things a little bit," I admitted. 

"You don't have to hide it, Ben told me what happened. He feels pretty bad about it too."

I sat on the ground. "I know that he only misses Sam," I admitted.

"He also told me that he thought you were having a panic attack when you left."

"He doesn't know shit about that!" I snapped.

Sam flinched.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

"Were you?"

"I don't remember exactly what happened," I lied. "But I don't have them anymore." Oh, no.

"Anymore?"

"Well......." I looked at the sky, not wanting to discuss the topic. Seriously, I wish the world would just leave me and my fears alone. 

"The nightmares are getting worse, aren't they?"

"You know about that?" I asked stupidly.

"I think even the tour manager knows about that. You're not very good at hiding it, and we all know that you barely ever sleep."

"I don't know how to get rid of them."

"Have you considered hypnosis?"

"Once, but it didn't work. Apparently I'm not weak-minded enough to submit to it." I watched as people started curiously walking out of the building.

"That's understandable." He nodded along, believing me. "Maybe a witch's potion could fix you," He joked. 

"Maybe," I considered it.

"I'm not serious." He looked at me as though I'd gone crazy. "You really need to get some actual sleep if you're believing in witches now."

"I'm desperate. At this point, even if it is a fake witch I'll take the potion."

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll get over them eventually."