Autophobia (Brusnop)

10: Oddities, Sweet Oddities

Danny's POV: 

Well, dear reader. I hope your horny ass is satisfied. We kissed, all because of the amount of impatience towards these things. 

And because the writer has no relationship experience. 

But mostly because of impatience. 

I'm sure of it. 

But anyways, when I woke up that morning, the Sun was beaming into my eyes. Now, I wouldn't consider this strange except for three contributing factors. Number one, I never sleep until the Sun comes up. Number two, the Sun rises in the East, but the window in my room is facing the West. Number three, I didn't wake up because of a nightmare. In fact, I slept rather soundly last night. I saved Ben in my dream. 

Weird. 

Anyways, I went out into the main room to see Ben standing at the kitchen's island. "Thought you'd never wake up, " He told me. "Sleep well? " 

I rubbed my eyes. "Surprisingly, yes. " 

"I thought so. It's nearly four in the afternoon. " Ben pointed to the clock. 

"It's what? " I looked there as well, extremely shocked to see that he was correct. 

"No nightmares then? " 

"Nope." 

"Huh." He rubbed his chin in thought. "Alright, well. I should get going now. " 

I gestured to the front door. "Won't you please? " 

"You want me to go? " He looked surprised. 

"You want to stay? " I replied, half as surprised as he was. 

"No, " He said flatly. "I'll be going. " 

"Sure." 

"Yeah." 

"Right."  He reached for the door. "Leaving." 

"Bye." 

"See you." He looked back. "So long. " 

I waved. "Bye." 

And then he left. 

That wasn't odd, was it? Eh... Whatever. The point is, it's high time I took a shower 

Ben tells me that, apparently, it's a vital part of life. 

As a closeted gay, it's absolutely essential that I engage in occasional activities that conceal my gayness. So, I'm going to a strip club. Obviously, I won't actually fuck anyone. But I'll still watch from afar, and maybe interact with one slut that happens to know my name. 

Plus, I'm also half-hoping to see Ben there. 

But mostly to hide my gayness.

But also to see Ben.

Told you I'm not in love with him.

Once I entered, I forgot why I thought that this was a good idea in the first place. But the number one rule of course, no pictures, no phones. I shut mine off completely, that way no one would know that I was here. 

And my luck is better than I thought today, because I saw the hat concealing the curly mess of hair that I admire so much. I went over to his table, and tapped his shoulder. Benjamin hummed at me.  "What are you doing here?" He asked me, still not taking his eyes off of one particular brunette who was dancing.

"Pretending to be straight. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for a fun night." He looked at me. "You went looking for me, didn't you?"

I shook my head. "Not purposefully."

Ben rested his head in his hands, sighing deeply. "Alright, fine. Let's go."

"What?"

"The sluts here will make me pay for my thirty seconds. I can get that for free simply by opening the door of our tour bus. I'm going. Are you coming or not?"

"Oh, I'm coming alright."

Ben looked down, not so subtly.

"Not actually you ass!" I smacked his shoulder in a playful way. 

"Just making sure, just making sure."

Once outside, Ben stopped to lit a cigarette. "Want one?" He offered.

I shook my head. "Not right now." I looked at him. "Do you still miss Sam?" I asked him.

Ben shrugged. "Sometimes, but it doesn't hurt so much anymore. If we weren't meant to be together, then we weren't meant to be together."

I tried to hide my happiness at that comment. "I see."

"Last night, I went to your flat," Ben began.

"Yeah," I said nervously. See the problem is, I was sober last night. For one of the first times ever, but still sober.

"What exactly happened between the two of us?" He asked me.

"Well, you came to my door, stuck your tongue down my throat, and then passed out on the couch."

"I kissed you?!"

"I wouldn't have called it a kiss so much as nearly eating me alive. It wasn't exactly pretty."

"Damn," Ben laughed. "Not even the chicks think I'm that aggressive."

"That's probably because you're not really known for being that way," I pointed out to him. "You're usually too lazy."

"We don't have to tell anyone about it, do we?" He asked quietly.

"Our little secret," I promised. 

"Then don't tell them about this either." Before I could think about what he'd said, he pressed me against the brick wall of the building behind me, dropping his cigarette. This time, he kissed me differently than before. His lips were soft against mine, but hot as the flames of Hell. And the feeling of his lip rings pressing against my lower lip was more prominent than before. I found myself returning his kiss, before he pulled away.

"What was that for?" I asked him.

"We're friends with benefits," He told me. "And I'm not very good with control."

That night, I tossed and turned. Ben's words swam in my head. Why did he kiss me a second time? He wasn't fulfilling a promise to me this time. It was just a kiss in the street for no apparent reason. And it felt so wrong. I swear in that moment my heart was going to burst it was beating so fast. What if someone saw? 

What did any of it really mean?

What did he mean that he's not good with control?