Insangel

Chapter 1

The feel of it... I cannot accurately describe how beautiful it is. Like the touch of God himself. Yes... I suppose that will have to do...

     "Miss Charmaine, please put that rock down; it has been on the ground," Nanny Dia asks in a hushed and polite tone, but I can tell she is beginning to get annoyed as she glances around at the passers-by.

She does not understand the exhilaration that runs through me when I caress shapes such as this beautifully moulded pebble. Azrael understood. Despite being a lowly servant, she appreciated the Geometry of Life.

But a servant is not good enough for a princess apparently.

      "Are you cold? You are shaking," she asks, embracing me, the indiscretion forgotten.

      "I was so absorbed in my work that I had not noticed it was cold until now. I would like to go in now," I answer quickly, slipping the pebble into the pouch strapped around my waist when Nanny Dia turns to go.

I take a quick glance around the courtyard in case I missed any other treasures, but I have picked it dry by now. Regardless, I love coming back to this courtyard. Out of all the ones I am allowed in, the geometric alignment here is best; the way the shadow of the metal roof bars covers the stone at this time of day is exquisite.

Seeing the overcast sky through the bars makes my wings itch, however, so best to keep my head down and focus on the floor.

      "Head up, Miss Charmaine. You are never going to inspire respect in your subjects if you are always hanging your head. You need to have your head held high and eyes fixed on God, not on the filth below."

'They are not my subjects, they are Mother's,' I almost say, but think better of it; my bottom still stings from the last caning. To distract myself from the thought, I stroke the tips of my fingers across the brickwork of the corridor walls as we pass by.

      "Queen Cervial requires your attendance at an important meeting with some religious representatives in an hour, so you are going to be on your best behaviour. But first we need to get you out of those dirty, garish robes and into something more becoming of a lady of your stature. Something pretty."

Pretty? I do not want to be pretty.

And what is 'garish' about these robes? Glancing down lovingly at them, I admire the geometric patterns that criss-cross over the drab blue fabric; a worthy celebration of the Geometry of Life, indeed. Perhaps vibrancy would enhance it further, but Mother would definitely not allow that.

      "And we are going to have to do something about those bags under your eyes. Make-up, perhaps? Are you still not sleeping well, Miss Charmaine?

      "Too bright..." I mumble, looking away.

      "Your halo disturbing you again?" she asks, indicating the radiant gold disc framing my head, "The doctor will not be happy to hear that. Perhaps further medication is required. How long has it been now? 4 days?"

Just the mere mention of 'The Good Doctor Forfax', who resides in the lower reaches of the palace, is enough to bring to mind his experiments and the needle's kiss. The syringe hovers in front of me. Mocking me. All the strength goes out of my legs and I fall to my knees.

      "Goodness gracious! Miss Charmaine, are you hurt?" Nanny asks, rushing to my aid and helping me to my feet.

      "I—I am fine. Nothing to worry about."

      "Hmm... I would still feel better if you had a check-up to be sure. However, it will have to wait."

We begin the descent down the long spiral staircase to my room. As usual, I am forced to tuck my wings in as tight as I can fit them.