Insangel

Chapter 8

Bright light attempts to penetrate my eyelids. Is that the sun... or Heaven...?

As I open an eye a crack, the light rushes in, battering my vision. However, after weathering it for a few minutes, details emerge from the blankness.

A grid. A familiar grid at that. It is My Room! And the light? The light is from my halo!

So, it was just a dream... and yet... am I happy or sad about this discovery? I suppose it does mean that I am inching closer to getting my sleep back.

Approaching footsteps draw me away from pining over the dream.

      "It is medication time again," Doctor Forfax announces as if it is the most anticipated event of the day. Well, in a way, it is, I guess...

After the usual tests of my physical health, I remain seated on the edge of the table to hear what Doctor Forfax thinks of the results. If I am going to undergo this treatment, I may as well hear the progress.

     "Your physical health is at an acceptable level, though it has deteriorated slightly, especially your muscle mass, since the beginning of your treatment. Perhaps I will have to devise some kind of exercise program should treatment continue for too long," he reports out loud. As usual, he does not do this specifically for my benefit.

Applying the anaesthetic gel to my neck, he continues with his report, "However, while your halo brightness has been fluctuating, controlling it still eludes me."

Wonderful... As long as I get my sleep back, I do not care about what is done to my halo. No one is certain if it even serves a functional purpose anyway.

The gel begins to take effect as a chill runs down my spine, pausing momentarily to tickle the base of my wings. I think I could get used to this feeling. Maybe, if I behave, Doctor Forfax might give me some more.

     "Well behaved when it comes to the injection, as usual. Painless might actually be the solution for once." Doctor Forfax remarks casually within a minute or two of first applying the gel. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to these injections.

In no time at all, we are heading down the corridor back to My Room. Though that means I will be reunited with The Wall Grid once more, I am not sure how I am going to keep my mind occupied until Doctor Forfax's next visit.

As we pass rows of doors that presumably lead to rooms similar to mine, I wonder whether there are any other patients of Doctor Forfax. If there are, their room can never be as geometrically wonderful as mine.

Suddenly, a tortured cry, seemingly emanating from one of the rooms, forces me off the ground in surprise. Or, it would, if my body could summon the energy to react appropriately. As a result, all I can manage is a lethargic flail.

Looking around groggily, there does not appear to be a light on in any of the rooms. I do not know where, but I feel like I have heard it somewhere before...

"That was just the sound of metal scraping on metal. It is an engineering fault that unfortunately has not been fixed yet because I have more pertinent costs."

I suppose it does sound a little metallic, but it was probably just because I was wondering whether there were other patients under Doctor Forfax's care.

      "It also appears that the effects of the anaesthetic gel are lingering longer than expected. Effects and duration do vary from subject to subject, so I will be sure to monitor that as well.

Safe and alone in My Room once more, I stare at The Wall Grid once more and realise that the shadows formed by the gaps between the cushions have spread. As a result, My Room appears even darker than before, so at least can still touch the cushions.

As I approach, the shadows extend their reach further. Perhaps my halo is dimming?

Maybe it is finally dark enough to sleep!

Excited, I sink to the floor and squeeze my eyes shut. Surprisingly, my heartbeat is actually quite slow. I wait... and wait... and wait...

But no luck. The light is somehow still too bright.

The routine of appointments, food and toilet breaks becomes my only way of determining relative time.

Thankfully, Head Voice bothers me less and less as Doctor Forfax refines the medication.

The shadows lengthen, my halo dims, but sleep continues to elude me.

At least I have the soporific effects of theanaesthetic to help ease me closer and closer to my goal.