Koh-e-Noor

//• c h a a r •//

- Z A I R A -

"Oye," I heard from behind while admiring the beautiful sunset. I looked at him as he slid his phone down his pocket and walked to me, "Chalo,"

He looked distressed. He was so calm before that.

As I write this, I feel ugh.

I shouldn't have been there with him. Why was I so calm? With him? I know him too well to stay calm when he's around.

"Kahaan?" I politely asked, kind of worried for him, but more worried about missing this sunset.

Itni khubsoorat shaam dekhe hue arsa ho gayaa hai. Aur kyaa pataa phir kabhi aisi shaam dekhne bhi mile Lahore mein yaa nahin.

"Ghar.

"Kyun?"

"Zai- Sawaal karne ka waqt nahin hai, chalo."

"Tum jaao yaar, mera sooraj ghuroob ho rahaa hai-"

"Tumhaara sooraj roz ghooo-boo- whatever. You can watch it some other day."

I bit my lip to stop the laugh that wanted to squirm out at his fumbling. "Roz roz itni khubsoorat tehreek e tasveeraat dekhne ko nahin milti."

"Zaira! Get your ass off the ground. I have no time for your bullshit. If you argue even once more I'll leave you right here."

"Yehi tou main keh rahi hoon."

He pulled my hand up and dragged me out of the park and after a few thoughts, I mentally gave my consent and walked with him.

"Tum ne mera rang pehna hai iss liye chal rahi hoon, warna kabhi naa chalti." I twisted my hand out of his grasp.

I'm so stupid, I started saying my thoughts out loud despite having read his face.

"Do you not go around the world focusing on your favourite colour?"

I wondered if he was listening to me, although I wasn't talking for him to listen to me. I was talking because talking makes me think of the topic deeper and I want to elaborate on these small thoughts.

Someday I want to write a Discourse on the Method of my own.

"Blue is my colour." I gasped as a thought entered my head, "what if... everything around us was black and white except our favourite color?" I gave it a long thought before adding contrast, "oh, but then what about the black or white lovers? They suffer." I looked at him, "what's your favourite color?"

Is it just me or does he always make these disgusted expressions? Even in my imagination?

"Are you disgusted by everything I say or do you have no other expressions? Who casted you?"

I received a smack on my head, "Shut up, I'm not in the mood right now."

He looked worried after the call, but I, Allah knows for what reasons, always feel the need to say it all.

"But- are you always annoyed? Agh, I hate moody people." I'm not going to lie, dear diary. I did say that to annoy him a little more.

But only that. Not what comes after.

He rolled his eyes.

"Damn though, if you think about it, then that's a very unjust privilege. People who like black or white would only see two colors. People who like any other would see three- Isn't it kind of the same with gay people? Quite... unfair. It is a privilege for us straight people." I rambled on.

"It can't be real."

"What?"

"Their feelings. Imagine denying a female body."