Who Are You?

Oh No...?

"dont be sorry Zara, but we do need to talk you know..." he reminded me

"i know...but what exactly are we going to be talking about?" i asked him

there were so many things we needed to talk about i honeslty didnt know which one he was refering to at the time

"why dont we just start talkng and see how it goes?" Ash suggested

"sounds good to me" i said with a smile

"soo...can i ask you a question?" he asked. i nodded "ummm...how do you feel about me?"

i laughed and hugged him harder around his waist

"isn't it obviosuly Mr. Purdy?" i asked while still laughing

"to be honest im not sure...i mean i know how i feel about you but im not sure how you feel about me back...." he said awkwardly

"i think you're the most awesome guy i've ever met. you seem to genuinly care about me, and want to take care of me. yeah you can be a perv at times but so can i.  you're always there for me when i need you and you somehow always seem to know what i need to feel better. like brushing my hair for me" i told him

he dragged me to sit on his lap and kissed me so hard i thought my head was spinning like a top. i twined my fingers in his long soft hair and pulled him as close as he could possibly get to me.

finally we pulled away and i asked "so how do you feel about me?"

his only responce was to kiss me again. this kiss was more tender and gentle...i liked it too

"does that answer your question?" he asked with a smile on his face

i nodded my head quickly with a blush creeping over my cheeks again

"soo how long have you...ya know liked that sort of thing?" he asked awkward again

"you can call it what it is you know" i laughed

"what do we call it?" he asked confused

"well my exes called it disgusting to be honest but i've just always liked the man to be in charge...its always made me feel safe and protected. knowing he cared enough about me to punish me if i broke his rules...the rules he put in place for my well being? what better kind of love is that?" i explained

 "and no guy has ever done this?" Ashley asked me

"no, it was always what i wanted but never what they wanted" i answered

i really did want a man to take care of me. sure i always acted tough like i didnt need anyone, but then i met the guys and everything i tried so hard to bury from my family and friends just kinda floated to the surface...

"so what rules would there be?" he asked intrigued

"that wouldnt be up to me. it would be up to the guy to decide" i explained

"you have this all planned out dont you?" he asked with a smile

"it's my fantasy but ive always wanted it to be real Ashley...most girls dream of finding a super hot model get them everything the ever wanted...me? i dreamed of finding the guy who had every quality i ever wanted..." i explained

"ahh i see. and what quealities would these be?" he asked

did i want this? yes i did

"well he would of course have to be a rockstar, live close to me, want the same things i do, care about me, have an OUTLAW tattoo, and the most important of all..." i trailed

"what?" he asked

"he has to be my best friend always" i finished with a smile

"sounds a lot like me kitten" he whispered

"gee i wonder why ash?" i teased back as i straddled him and kissed him long and hard

i wanted to be with him. i had read about the kind of relationship i wanted. how people sometimes went out of control with it and hurt each other. they took things to a whole new level, but i trusted Ash not to hurt me.

"can i be honest?" i asked him after i finished kissing him

"always kitty" he answered

"i dont want this kind of lifestyle to all encompass my life...i want a normal life outside the house...does that make sense?" i asked scared of his reaction

he simply nodded as a grin spread across his face "thats exactly what i want to Zara"

"really?" i asked getting excited

could we really fit that well together!? there was no way...

"yeah" he said as his grin grew and he nodded

i quickly wrapped my arms around him ad hugged him tightly as i could. he stiffened in surprise before hugging me back

"thank you Ashley..." i whispered in his ear

"for what?" he asked back

"for everything...for taking me in, for being my best friend, for being exactly like me" i told him

"trust me Zara, its no problem at all my little kitten" he said as he squeezed me tighter for a second before letting me go and leaning away from me

he wrapped his arms around my thighs and my waist and stood up with me in his arms. he didnt seem to be working very hard at all once again proving how strong he was.

maybe we would be alright after all :D